Catch me
by silvereyed angel
Summary: JONAS; music is everywhere, even in those who seem to have lost everything.. it is there, when all has failed, even love. Rated T for abuse and violence
1. noticing

"So." Leslie said, swinging her bleached-blonde hair out of her face in a 'look at how beautiful it is today' manner. "Where are we like, going on our school trip, this year?"  
Her tone was enthusiastic as she looked at her music-class and then at me, even though I was standing remotely to the side, leaning against the wall.

I looked at the class-president, glanced at her incredibly high heels, wondered how she coped and started: "well, I thought…" Like I had predicted, she did not really want my opinion. Naturally, I was right.

"The Museum of Music history is like, a wonderful place to go, who's for?" Leslie said, twirling her hair around her finger, blinking at me vigorously. I watched her. She was really pretty, I had to admit and I was slightly taken back by the intensity of her really large, really blue eyes.

She looked away, back to the class. Silently demanding an answer.

"I am!" a brunette sitting at the desk next to Leslie said, raising her hand and smiling at her leader, cough, friend. I think her name was Britt.

I rubbed the back of my head as I thought about the Museum of Music history, a rather obvious choice and shyly watched the girls who were looking at me in adoration. "I suppose we could…"

"That would be like, so awesome! I'm for!" another one of Leslie's sheep, this time a black haired one, chewing her gum with obvious passion, added.  
"Yeah, like, me too!" the brunette said again.

"Yeah, like, me not!" a bored voice suddenly said. "Please, the Museum of Music history? Even you can do better then that."  
The girl the voice belonged to had her feet resting on her table, demonstratically showing off her different coloured converse as she stared at us with a bemused expression.

The rest of the class looked at her surprised; no body ever went against Leslie. I wasn't sure why, but I think she scared them a little, she shone, she was popular and she was clearly enjoying it.  
Everybody except me and the strange girl was a little intimidated by her confidence, but for some reason, she really wanted me to like her.

Still, I couldn't just ignore what the black-dressed girl said. "How so?" I asked her, a little defensive of the place he first came to know exactly how great the world of music was.

"Everyone has been to the Museum of Music history." The girl said, shaking her head a little, tufts of dirty-blond hair sticking out of her lazy bun. "With their parents, friends, sports-team, grand-parents, parents again because they're older now and can appreciate the music in a different way, far cousins, old friends and of course for school." She explained. "I have been living here for three weeks and I've already been there, twice!"

"The Museum of Music history happens to be the most highly recommended museum in the state." I defended. "It's a beautiful museum."

"Witch explains exactly why everybody has already been there." The girl said. "Tell me, where did you to go last year?"

I looked at her. "The… Museum of Musical history." I answered hesitantly, a little embarrassed.

"I'm not saying that museum isn't way cool, because it is. Just maybe we should try something else; I know this really cool exposition about musical artefacts, from Egyptian to old English, only a fifteen minute drive or so." She reasoned, very reasonably.

The girl opened her mouth to say something again, but Leslie couldn't take it anymore.  
"You can't talk to him like, like that! He's like, Nick of JONAS!" She snapped at the girl, who raised her hands in mock and highly amused defence. "You have like, absolutely no right to speak. You have been here for like two weeks, so like, shut up new-girl, the actual Mantises are talking."

"Fine." She said, lifting her feet off the table and grabbing her jet-black backpack. "Then I'll like, just go. Like, goodbye." She smiled and I had to hold back a chuckle at her emphasis of 'like'.

I wanted to say something in the manner of 'you don't have to go, Leslie is being ridiculous'. Because I sort of admired her nerve.

But Leslie, once again, interrupted me and honestly, I really started to get annoyed.

"You can't leave, it's class and I happen to be in char.."

At that exact moment the bell rang and the girl turned around, blinked her green eyes in a way very alike to the way Leslie had been flirting with me, smiled wickedly sweet and walked away. Leaving Leslie astonished and very angry.

I sniggered, getting a hurt look from said girl, but I couldn't care less, I did not particularly like the girl that had won her position with popularity. The other girl with the messy school-uniform on the other hand…

I hurried after her, but I didn't saw the dirty-blonde hair or the quickly memorised frame anywhere.

"Wow! Dude, chill, where are you going?" I got stopped by the annoyingly muscular arms of my two older brothers.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I asked. Looking around them.

"Going way too fast again with a girl we just saw leaving muttering something about stuck-up rock-stars?"

"I'm just… what?" I asked, confused.

My brothers looked at each other.

"Small, tough looking girl with astonishing long legs?" Joe described.  
"Slightly tomboyish, different coloured shoes?" Kevin continued. "Ring any bells?"

I sighed. "Yes it does and yes, I am looking for her but I'm NOT." I empathised that. "Crushing on her. I just needed to say something so she wouldn't think I'm a stuck-up rock-star and you kind of ruined that."

"Who ruined what?" The happy voice of Stella Malone, nicely on time, interfered.

"These two baboons stopped me from changing a girls mind about me being stuck-up." I answered. Glaring at the baboons in question.

"Who in the world would think you, of all people, would be stuck up?" the bubbly voice of Macy Misa said, once again popping out of no-where, smiling brightly.

"Small, tough looking girl with astonishing long legs?" Joe described, again, earning himself a punch from Stella.

"Slightly tomboyish, different coloured shoes?" Kevin continued. "Ring any bells?"

Stella and May gave each other a look and then simultaneously said: "ooh."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. "You know her."

"Well, duh, girls-gossip chain, remember?"

"Right."

Macy bit her bottom lip, trying not to laugh. Stella giving her a glance at witch she turned away.

"She's new, moved here about three weeks ago." The blonde said, tiding her neat skirt and jacket. "I don't know much unfortunately…"

"only that she's really hard." Macy said.

We all looked at her weird. "It can't be that bad?" Kevin asked her.

"I mean literally, I bumped in to her during PE and the girl has muscle. They say she's in a street gang and…" she looked around and whispered: "That she doesn't like JONAS!"

She said it like it's a crime and it probably was to her, and to Joe as he vigorously nodded, earning another smack on the back of his head from Stella. She glared at him, but then turned back to me.

"She's a little… odd." She said. "And I'd love to give her some fashion-tips but I'm actually a little scared to come near her…"

"Why, she didn't seem mean to me?" I asked, confused why Stella, of all persons, would be scared of the younger girl.

"She isn't! Jay's just a little... scary and you know, weird." Stella explained, looking at her manicured nails.

"So just because she's different you don't like her?" Joe asked, earning himself yet another smack.

"No! Of course not." She spat. "Okay maybe just a little, but if you want I could go find her?"

Now she smiled the smile I knew very well as her 'look I'm so sweet and angelic, please forgive me' smile and I nodded. "I'd like that."

"Then it's done, tomorrow at lunch, make sure to leave a seat empty." She said, winking at me.

"Why? Don't you want us sitting next to you?" Kevin asked, obvious to the wink and we all sighed, not bothering answering, though Macy shot Kevin an apologetic smile as we all just walked away from him.

"Aww, come on guys! What…?"

{The next day}

Jay PoV

Where the heck did I leave my history assignment? It had to be here somewhere! My teacher would be pissed if I didn't have it with me and I really can't have detention! Matt's going to kill me!

Suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me and I quickly turned around. Behind me stood a blonde and exceptionally stylish girl just about to open her mouth and say hello to me, accompanied by a brightly smiling more dark haired girl with a JONAS button on her shirt.

_Gosh, did everybody her love those dudes?_

"Hi!" The blonde girl said. "I'm Stella, this is Macy and you must be Jay!"

I raised an eyebrow and pointed at the name-tag every new student had to wear for his or her first three weeks and answered: "obviously." As I looked the girl up and down, from her boots to her pearl necklace and came to the conclusion that she was a little over dressed for school but was a nice person in general, seeing the way she held her hands a little upwards and her feet towards me, not standing on one hip because she was uncomfortable.

"Well." The girl, Stella, went on. "We were wondering if you'd like to sit with us and our friends for lunch."  
She pointed to her and the smaller girl, who was remotely more relaxed then her friend as she waved, slightly raising her shoulders in a friendly way and even tilting her head to the side. Even though she did not realise she was doing that.

"Why would I, why would you, want that?" I asked, swinging by bag over my shoulder. Eying them with lost interest.

"Well… We um... thought you might like that and we would love to have you sit with us. Come to know you a little better!"

I eyed her suspicious, as she was clearly lying to me. "You're lying, so no, I'd rather sit alone."

I started to walk away, re-focussing on my history assignment as the annoying blonde groaned.

"Okay fine, we want you to sit with us because I promised I would get you to sit with us." She breathed.  
I turned around.  
"Fine!" I told her. "Who are these friends of yours anyway?"

"Well…" She pointed towards the hall where three guys were sitting on a table, one of them waving at her.

You've got to be freaking kidding me?

* * *

**this started kind of cute and then turned into crap.. sigh.. and it was way cuter in my head, but anyway  
like it? Don't? cookies to the ones who speak their mind… **


	2. following

The first thing I noticed about Jay, who was currently sitting next to me, were the obvious things: her flaming red freshly dyed hair, her alternative clothes, the fact that she was glaring at me, the fact she had no food and the huge bruise next to her left eye.  
But there was more, something beneath the bleach skin and witty reply to Kevin's blunt: "what happened to your eye!?"

The bracelet, for example, the bracelet with the guitar-charm.  
How could she possibly hate music, as she had made very clear, when it was so obvious she didn't? Not only was an electric indigo Ipod sticking out of her bag and was her left foot ticking to the beat of the back-ground music, She also had a simply melodic voice. Even though she wasn't using it right now. She just sat, seemingly obvious to everything around her.  
Today, instead of the messy uniform and different coloured converse, she was wearing a dress-shirt and loose tie and the Horace Mantis skirt. Black and white boots underneath them.

"What are you looking at, pretty face?" The green-eyed object of my staring suddenly growled. Making me jump in surprise.  
"Nothing." I answered quickly, earning myself multiple lifted eyebrows. "I mean, I…I mean… sorry."

Somehow, it was very hard to lie to her. Even Joe had that problem.

"He was probably just looking at your clothes and hair and bruise and… well, everything" My brother said smiling.

Jay eyed him with indifference and answered in a cold voice: "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well." Joe began…

"Stop talking." I on beforehand warned him.

"You're kind of… different."

"Stop talking!"

"Not that you're ugly or something, you're pretty, but you know also..."

"Please, stop talking!"

"Kind of a freak, you know."

I sighed, leaving hitting Joe on the back of his head to Stella and watched Jay's face go blank.  
"Well then." She said, staring at Joe, who oddly enough blushed underneath her stare. "If you dislike my appearance so much, I won't trouble you anymore, Mr. Superstar. It's not like you liked me anyway." She snorted. "It's not like I liked _you, _anyway."

With that. She rose, looked at me with a hateful expression and then walked away, vanishing into the crowd that separated for her, her anger raiding off her.

"Do you ever listen to me?" I asked my brother. Even though I wasn't sure if his remark had everything to do with her disappearing. She did not seem to like most people, not just us and from my impression, she didn't really want to like them either.

"Of course I do! I just…"

"You're such a douche bag, Joe…"

Then again, so was I, why did I care so much?

{After school}

"Hey, I'm sorry man!" Joe said, for the thousandth time since lunch, he had even whispered apologies through the history test.  
"It's okay, for the thousandth time, Joe. She's hurt and she hates us. It's not like _everyone_ has to like us."

Even though I wished.

"Can I make it up to you?" He asked, suddenly smiling.

"How?" I asked suspicious.

He just pointed to something behind me.  
I turned around and indeed, there she was. Across the hallway, her head into her locker, witch was why I hadn't noticed her earlier.

'C'mon man! Here's your chance… then you can forgive me and help me with my math!" Joe smiled, closing my own locker for me.

"It's not my fault you suck at math."

"But you're in an advanced math class!"

I left him standing as I walked over to Jay, my strange fascination with her rising again. Her shirt, hugging her thin frame, had the sleeves rolled up and as I walked closer, I noticed the small light lines running over them here and there.

She winced, downright shied away from me, as I came closer and her face appeared, large eyes staring at me, slightly mocking as I leaned against the locker next to her, my hands in my pockets.  
"Hey." I said as she slowly closed her locker. "I wanted to apologise for my brother."

"It's okay." She answered, this time without sarcasm. "I know how difficult brothers can be. You were just trying to be nice, I just generally don't like nice, you know. Not something you should apologise for. Just leave it, okay?"

"Well, I'm a nice guy; I don't just leave things like that." I said, reaching my hand out to make a reassuring movement, but once again she leaned away.

"Just leave me alone, I don't want your sympathy." She threw a few books into her locker and slammed it close. "I do not like you, not any of you goons. Go back to your happy world, where you belong and please, and god, leave me alone."

She turned around and walked away. Leaving me without a word to say. Witch did not happen very often, I can assure you.

So I did the only reasonable thing: follow her. Because something in me; instinct, alarm-bells, conscious? Told me something was going on with her.

It wasn't the most brilliant of my smart ideas, but this was needed, because the thin lines on her arms, were all pointing towards herself.  
Witch meant she also made them herself…  
A bruise like that did not come from running into something, unless you walked into a fist. Shying away like that wasn't natural, it was wrong.  
So maybe I did have super-hero tendencies, because I wanted to help her, so badly it hurt.  
Nick Lucas doesn't take a no for an answer.

I pushed my bag into Kevin's arms, ignoring his questions and started to run. I ran outside and tried to catch where she went, praying she didn't take the school-bus. I was very sure she didn't, though.

"The freak went that way." The snobbish voice of Leslie purred into my ear. "Kind of in a rush, I think she was crying…"

Jay, cry? Somehow I couldn't imagine her doing that, she was stronger then that.  
"Thank you, Leslie." I told her.

"You're more then welcome, Nick." She purred again as I hurried towards the direction she had pointed and indeed, she hadn't been lying (like I thought) Because I saw Jay walking on the sidewalk, hands in her pockets, not even a jacket covering her, though she was shivering violently.

I continued following her, hiding behind corners and feeling like a stalker, eventually entering a neighbourhood I had never been to. The streets were dirty and deserted, the lonely figure of the girl I was following seeming utterly small.

Her shoulders got more tense with every step she took. My own muscles doing the same thing, my mind still in denial about what I expected.

She turned a corner and walked into a street named hollow's end.  
It was old and had an almost ghetto-like atmosphere. Though it looked slightly more populated then the rest of the neighbourhood, mom certainly didn't want to find me here.

The few children that were playing in the street seemed used to Jay, one of the girls even shyly said 'hi' to her.

She smiled at the child, wow, she smiled. Her whole face seemed to light up, cracking the mask of uncaring and pain. She waved at the child, for once completely lost her defence as I only could watch in awe.

When she walked on, her shoulders tensed up again. I saw her take a breath as she walked up a stone path, towards one of the houses.

She entered, disappeared and the door closed with a loud slam.

I looked at my watch, altogether it was already almost six pm and it was starting to get dark. Mothers screamed for their kids to come in and looked at me suspiciously. Making me slightly uncomfortable.

Eventually, about 15 minutes and lots of anxiety from me later, the street was deserted and I slowly made my way towards the house at the end of the street, still having no idea why exactly I was doing this. I barely knew the girl and she had not particularly got herself a place in my heart. I slid down the wall and sat down against it.

_Bad idea, Nick, bad idea!_ I chanted to myself. _Go home, to your family, you know nothing about her. So she lives in a poor neighbourhood, she's rough; those things go together, nothing weird! _

Still, I couldn't get myself to move, something stopping me. Keeping me here, listening as the darkness fell around me.

_Go home, everybody's probably worried sick about you! _I sighed. _Go…_

"Shut up, little slut!" A hoarse, sharp voice, dulled by the walls, but clearly hearable, shouted.  
I pushed myself closer against the wall in fright, but quickly relaxed, listening to what was going on inside the house.

"Stay off of me!" An all too familiar voice yelled back and I faintly heard a slapping sound and then something colliding with a hard surface, followed by a cry of pain. "Please, not again!"

I winced and suddenly, the urge to run erupted from somewhere deep down, now that my suspicions had been confirmed.

I heard sobs and a few more sounds I couldn't place and then, ripping sounds, fabric ripping…  
I lunged myself away from the house and ran, even though another part of me screamed for me to run in and help the poor girl. Somehow, I couldn't and just kept on running, away from what I'd just heard.

With tears in my heart, but listening to the rational part of me I ran, all the way back to school. There, I sunk down again, on the sidewalk.

Jay was being abused, as I suspected. Worse then I could've imagined, damaged, I now knew.

I stared at nothing in particular, trying not to think about what I'd just heard. And I didn't even have the slightest idea what had been happening, but I couldn't even convince myself of it being a coincidence because of the 'not again'.

I tried to block out the ripping sounds of cloth and the hard slaps.

I shuddered.

I looked up. Only to see the sky covered in clouds and realised I now understood. Why Jay was acting like she did. Why she couldn't love.  
She did not know how to, because love hat failed her…

* * *

**this story is killing me. Partly because of the 8 tests I have to learn for and partly because Jay, well, is a really hard character for me to write. The thing is that she is so vivid in my imagination that it's really difficult to get her written out. I can't just give her a personality, but I have to capture it in the few lines I have :(  
I'm sorry for the delay and the shortness. I originally planned to make Nick's find out a little more dramatic, but then figured; drama sucks** **and made it this way… sue me**

**Just for the record, I own a pair of Mickey Mouse ears! I OWN Disney!**

**Also, I was wondering just how the 'do not walk on grass' sign got on the grass in the atrium? (Detention episode)  
Love, silver**


	3. shocking

**This chapter has some Mature-themes in it and there's swearing and well.. it's going to be ugly..  
also, I do not own Jonas, even though I own the mikey-ears. I do own Jay, sort of (she's a free spirit) but I'm not sure if she (or Nick) is so happy with that…**

Nick: you're an evil person, no cookies to you! Again!  
Me: -sigh-

I'll just remember there are things like, super** califragilistic expialidocious…  
enjoy, **

"Nick!? Is that you? Nick, man, we searched everywhere for you! We were worried, bro!"

"Nick? Nick! Are you okay…?"

**Jay PoV  
**  
Okay, so maybe I hadn't been that nice for the JONAS brat. So what? He should keep his nosy nose out of my business, instead of getting himself into danger. Friends would only make things complicated. Complicated-er, whatever.

_Shut it Jay, you don't want to be friends with that annoying, Mr. Look how serious I am, Jonas. Please, even though he's a musician, he's so fake! I do not need his sympathy…_  
I softly laughed to myself as I recalled his dumbstruck expression when I blew him off, hopefully that would scare him away.  
I turned the corner and swallowed as I saw the silhouette of that damned house. Not that I was any less damned, but that did not make it more fun.

"Hi!" Misty said, slightly waving at me. Her dirty brown curls bouncing as she stopped mid-run. I smiled at her, hoping with all my heart she wouldn't get in the misery business I am in right now.

I walked into the house and dumped my bag next to the door, then turning around once, looking back at the street and somehow having the feeling of someone staring at my back.

Hmm… maybe it was Misty.

I walked in, not forgetting to slam the door closed, carefully scanning the area for Matt. He wasn't there, probably upstairs, prepping for the club. Idiot.

I sat down in front of the coffee-table and grabbed my books, to distract me of that naïve boy constantly wondering in my thoughts. Physics distracted me for a while, but half way through Maths, Matt, and the most evil-in-a-bad-way-person on earth, walked down from the stairs. Great, yay me.

"Hello my precious darling." He cooed, a smirk on his face. "Aren't you the sweet little girl?"

I refused to watch up at him and just answered: "Not really, I punched a guy's nose today, it broke."

Matt walked closer, putting his hands on my shoulders, massaging them. "So you're the naughty girl again, huh? Did he touch my property?"

I sighed, unwantedly feeling the muscles in my back relax. "No, he just kept nagging me, eventually called me a whore. So I punched him."

I gritted my teeth as I recalled the look of joy on the guys face as he pestered me. Humans are so vulgar.

"But you _are_ a whore, my cute little freak." He whispered in my ear. Tensing my body up again.

"I'm not a freak, I'm not your whore, I'm not your anything…" I told him.

He grasped my shoulders harder, painfully hard. "Are we being rebellious? You know what we do with rebels, right?" he asked.

"Rape them?"

He smiled, I could feel it. "We punish them." He said, brushing my hair from my face and kissing my neck.

I pulled away roughly.

"Do not talk about we, you bloody bastard, there's only you. Please, just go stick something up your ass." I spat, knowingly crossing the lines as I gathered my books and attempted to put them in my bag.

"You're mine, there's nothing you can do about it and you know it, vixen."

"Never."

"Shut up, little slut!" He then yelled, having used up his patience for today. Something I had hoped for, because it meant it would be over quicker.

His hand collided with my face and then my lower abdomen. I winced as I felt my lip split open, immediately cursing the new evidence of weakness on my face.

"So though, you think you are, huh? Don't worry, I'll break you."

He grabbed my shirt and threw me against the wall. I screamed, once, before I closed my mouth with a snap.

He was with me immediately, holding my hands above my head with one of his hands.  
"You're mine!" He growled and ripped my shirt from my torso. His mouth sucking on my collarbone.

"No, please, not again!" I gave up, knowing he might go a little easy on me if I begged him. He liked seeing me beg and it wasn't like I had any sanity left.

"Sorry, vixen." He said, kissing my neck. "God, you taste good. You glow, my vixen."

Tears ran over my face and he kissed them away, the places he touched stinging. "You're so fucking beautiful."

His left-over hand travelled up and down my sides, making a pathetic whimper come over my lips.

I hate him, I hate him, but there's nothing I can do… Even though I tried, I wiggled and wringed, but nothing got me out of his grip. I tried to hurt him, but he was stronger then I was.

I swore I heard something the moment he ripped off my jeans, but I couldn't care less… it had begun, again.

**Nick PoV**

I didn't understand. A girl like her, so strong and seemingly independent. How could she be used like this? It didn't make any sense, it was madness!

It hurt. Me, on the inside. Even though she was the one being… being raped and abused. It actually stung. The thought about that monster touching, hurting her.

"Nick, c'mon man, what is it?" A voice I barely noticed tried to get my attention.

"I think he's in shock!"

"You think?"

"He's like totally not reacting, something must be wrong."

"Nick? Please, talk to me?"

I focussed on the worried faces of four familiar teenagers.

"Nick?" Macy said again.

"Hey." I cracked and all of them smiled in relief.

"What happened, you were in shock! Are you okay?" Stella asked, as Joe put his hand on my shoulder.

_If only Jay had a support system like this._

"I'm fine…" I answered, not even able to smile if I wanted to.

"Are you sure?" Kevin asked. "You don't look fine."

"I'm okay, I swear." I answered tiredly; it felt wrong revealing Jay's secret, even though it was equally wrong to have followed her.

_Need to know, Nick, need to know. _

Then I though about what must be happening to her now. Nausea rose in my stomach and I felt Stella rub circles on my back.

"Stop that." I said to her. "Sorry, can we just go home, please." I pleaded.

"Sure." She said confused.

Kevin and Joe helped me up from the sidewalk and they all guided me home, even up the stairs until I shoed them away and took a shower. Now not only the sounds from the house were stuck in my memory, but also their worried faces.  
I sighed as I stepped into the shower. The hot jets of water relaxed my muscles and I slowly came back to myself.

I knew I had to help her, but I didn't know how…

I raised the drums and fell down on my bed, my hands in my hair as I once again stared up.

Jay…

It was like a record of her name kept replaying in my head. I thought, before my eyes fluttered closed.

_Hypnotising green eyes, only a part of her face light up by moonlight. Staring at me, while tears were gliding over scarred skin, looking at me like she wanted me to look, like she dared me. Darkness flaming around her, a wicked smile on her face, her pain surrounding the both of us. Hands, unfamiliar hands, sliding over her body. Her smile disappeared. The hands pulling her away as I ran after her. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't, running didn't work._

Suddenly, I heard music, a guitar. A drum? And then, a voice.

Then she was back, in front of me. Staring at me, this time her face was flawless, no bruises, no scar over her eyebrow. Her hair a natural blonde. She looked normal, herself, happy. She smirked at me, this time with humour as she started to run again, this time on her own behalf. Challenging me, as I ran with her. Trying to catch her, but she sneakily slipped through my fingers every time.  
Jay…

**Joe PoV**__

My brother is so weird, first having some sort of a nightmare and now, smiling. Nick! Smiling, of all people, smiling in his sleep.

_I wonder what he's dreamin' about. _I wondered, observing Nick lying in his bed.

"Is he asleep?" Stella asked, walking up behind me.  
"Yeah." I said, smiling at her.  
"Any clue to what might've happened to him?" She asked, her hand on my shoulder as we watched my baby brother.  
"I only know he disappeared before, while or after talking to that Jay girl."  
"You think she had anything to do with it?"  
"I don't know. I just hope he's okay right now. It's normal for Nick to just go his own way like that, but he always lets us know when he's out late or has plans. He's Nick, he's responsible like that. I'm…"  
"you're feeling responsible aren't you?" She asked, resting her head against my shoulder.

"How can I not, he's my little brother, how much I annoy him or not. I taught him how to draw within the lines!"

She giggled. "Really?"

"Yup, even though he drew better then me and knocked my drawings off the fridge after 3 weeks. I was still proud I was the one teaching him to get his drawings on the fridge."

She laughed for real now. "You're adorable Joe. As is he, when he sleeps." She cocked her head to the side a little. "And when he actually smiles."

"I know and yes, I'm utterly cute."

She hit me on the back of my head, but I just smiled. Standing there, with Stella in the doorway, I realised just how blessed I was. With a baby-brother like that and an older brother like Kevin. My family, my friends. Stella.

Somehow, I realised, that fact had something to do with how Nick acted.

**{The next day}**

Nick PoV

"Hey guys." I greeted my brothers, who were already seated at the kitchen-table.  
"Hey man. Feeling better?" Kevin asked as I sat down next to him. Staring at me over his guitar-shaped eggs.

"mhhm, yeah. Better." I answered, shaking crunchy cats into my bowl.

"Whatever's bothering you, you can tell us, you know?" Joe said, not even glancing at his own cereal.  
I sighed. "I know, thanks Joe, but this isn't something _I _can tell you."

Both my brothers looked at me with concern.

"Is it about that Jay girl?" Joe guessed.

My head shot up. "What?"

Then, they shared a look I knew very well.

"Nick. Are you falling for her?" Kevin asked.

"What?! No! I'm not. That happened like, one time." I reacted. That was so not it.

"Seven times!" They both reacted.

"But that's okay you know. It's just; we don't want you broken again, just like with Penny." Joe added.

"I'm not falling, and certainly not to hard." I told them, slightly annoyed. I couldn't even think about that, my mind was too occupied with the other stuff concerning Jay at the moment.

"We just want to protect you Nick."

Well, maybe I don't want to be protected. Maybe I don't want you guys to always catch me. Maybe I'm falling, but at least I'm falling onto a solid love base, something others can't even imagine. Some people don't even know what love is! I feel blessed that I do! I feel blessed that Love hasn't given up on me! I don't want to be caught, okay. Witch you don't have to because, I'm not crushing on Jay!"

Both of my brothers were staring at me quite dumbstruck. Impressed even, by my long speech.

I sat down, realising I had rose during my rant. "Sorry." I muttered awkwardly.

"That's okay, we totally underst…"

Luckily and once again perfectly timed, Stella and Macy walked in.

"Hey guys." Stella said, dumping a few layers of clothing on the chair Kevin had quickly disappeared from. Macy carrying an even bigger load, her small body disappearing behind it.

"Hi Macy." Kevin said, trying to look around the mountain of clothes.

"Hi, Kevin of Jonas!" Macy squeaked. Then, she dropped the whole load, burying both her and Kevin under it. Joe laughed as Stella eyed it with disapproving.

"Um, guys. Help?" Kevin's muffled voice came from underneath the pile.

"It's your own fault you know." Stella said. "You insist on doing power slides on stage."  
That made me finally laugh, a little. Sharing a look with Joe that said: 'it's okay'.

I just hoped she was okay too…

_My wrists hurt, the rope tied around it too tight, blood trailing down my arms. I felt miserable, was miserable. I looked down at my body, bruises and strings of red, colouring my paper-white skin. My knees only barely supporting my upper-body. I was naked and it was cold, freakin' freezing. But I couldn't curl up to make myself warm; I couldn't even rub my skin warm. Not that I wanted that after he touched it._

I kept pulling on the robes, even though shots of pain kept shooting through my arms. And the rest of my body for that matter.

I gave up and just hung in my chains. Bounded, like I was bounded to him. In pain, as he hurt me over and over again. Even breathing hurt.

Multiple cuts in my lower exposed abdomen stung as I tried to sit up straight. A cold breeze making me shiver, like the thoughts of him. Everything hurt, everything felt wrong. His touches, his kisses, everything felt so wrong. There was only lust, lust for my pain when he trailed his fingers over my skin. I recalled it all, re-lived it. I wanted to die, for that to finally stop. I deserved death; after all I had been through. I deserved the peace; the warm arms of nothing after life had disappointed me anyway.

I knew Matt was gone, to the club and would get joy out of the thought of me hanging here, still when he would come home and get me.

I started to sing, the notes leaving my lips like so many times before. The melodies easing a little of the pain, I felt my blood pulse on the rhythm of the beat.

Pain shot through my body as I felt the cuts close, the music easing my pain filled thoughts. The bruises paled, till only bleach, flawless skin was left. Warmth ran through my veins, keeping me in a soft embrace, though never as warm as normal human warmth would.

When I was healed and stopped singing, when the music disappeared, my loneliness and misery turned back and I gritted my teeth.

I did not need death, I did not need love.  
I had my music, which was enough.

**Review my lovely docious aliexpistic franticaly rufus readers (that's, super califragilistic expialidocious backwards)  
I adore reviews, just btw..**

Now, Nick, gimme back my cookies!__


	4. showing

**I feel like crab because I've been writing my brains out for you guys..  
You thank this chapter to ****chibiyugixyami**** because she wrote a part of it and made me totally like, inspired again :)  
Enjoy and beware for the heavy themes (though not as bad as last chapter) and the crappyness… **

"Tosh."

"Leslie."

I stared at the jock in front of me. His eyes on me too, filled with curiosity. I smiled. _Leslie you are brilliant!_

"I have like, a problem." I told him. Swinging my hair out of my face.

"And now what, you run to big brother hoping he will solve it?" He asked, his jacket lazily swung over his shoulders.

"No, I can solve it. With like, a little help from you. You're like, perfect, because out of all people, you annoy the Lucas boys the most." I said, tiding his jacket.

"I thought you hated me for that?" He said, full attention now, but very confused.

"Normally. Yes. But this is like, way more important."

He sighed. "Fine. You got me, spill it."

"There's this girl. She's weird, like, a freak. And she steals all _my_ attention." I said, slapping imaginary dust from my skirt, glaring at my older brother as if he could help it. "All Nick's attention that is like, supposed to go to his future-girlfriend. Me."

"And I fill in, where exactly?"

"In the way that you are going to ask her out, in front of Nick. She will say yes, Nick is heartbroken, wants a shoulder to cry on, you humiliate the girl and everyone's like, happy." I said, humming and feeling very pleased with me.

"How do you know she will say yes, who is _she_ anyway?" He said, a very stupid expression on his face.

"Her name is Jay, and I know because she's pathetic enough, believe me."

"What's in it for me?"

"The return of biggy-boo." I said casually.

"You have him! Where is he!?" He screamed, as I dodged his arms.

"Safe and sound and back before you can say Teddy-Pig. _If_ you do what I say."

"Fine." He grumbled. "I'll do it. But I want a contract after last time."

"Sure, like, sure."

My brother was so stupid. Nick was mine.

**Nick PoV**

I had been anxious all morning, not sure what to suspect, but this, I certainly hadn't.  
Jay walked, completely normal and without injuries, through the school entrance. No spot to be seen. For the unsuspecting eye…

I fingered the strings of my guitar, looking at Jay, who seemed to walk in slow motion.

The look in her eyes was dead, pained. I winced from just seeing it, puzzled by the absence of injuries that should've been there. Her movements weren't her normal vivid ones. Seemed to drag, like they were carrying a heavy load.

I watched her as she walked through the crowd, ripped shirt and baggy Jeans low on her hips as said crowd immediately parted for her. Like the red sea did for Moses.

Not listening to the warning coming from both Joe and Kevin, I walked up to her. Fighting my way through the loads of people. I had to talk with her, needed my suspicions to be confirmed, I wanted to help after running off like a coward.

"Hey." I breathed. Running my hands through my curls, just to have something to do. The red-headed girl turning around in a swift, but slightly scared movement.  
"Relax, it's just me." I said, trying not to scare her. I know how vulnerable she must be…  
"Well yeah, like _you_ are good news." She said, raising her eyebrow. "What's it now?"

"We need to talk." I told her. "Privately, I think."

In response I got a slightly suspicious look, an eyeroll and a nudge from her head. "Fine. Come with."

We ended up in the Outside-inside-outside -Kevin's getting into my head- where she turned around, dumping her bag on the ground indifferently, crossing her arms around her body protectively. "Spill what's on your mind, pretty face." She said, smirking.

"I know." I said, swallowing. Grabbing the neck of my guitar and putting it down, carefully.

"Know what?"

"I can't tell…" I sighed, turning back to her.

"Great, then I'm free to go!" She said happy, standing up from the bench.

"NO! I meant I can't tell it here, because it's your…" I hesitated.

God she was impossible! What was up with that? She was being raped and abused and still, she was like this. Independent, hard and painfully honest. I really respected that, but really couldn't use it right now.

"I mean that… I know."

"We've been through this. _Know what?"_ Jay asked, I noticed she wore her different coloured converse again.

I moved closer to her, my nose almost touching hers, staring into her now dull green eyes. She shied away from me at an instant. Staring at me, finally a glint of the pain I was searching for in her eyes.  
"I. Know." I told her and realisation hit her.

Her eyes widened, as did her nostrils. "You followed me." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. "You little…"

"Look," I interrupted her. "I know it was wrong."

"Then why did you do it! I told you to stay out of my business!" She spat, her eyes shining now. With fury. I guess that was better then the nothingness.  
"I know that! I'm sorry, but that doesn't distract me of the things I heard!"

Now she got downright cold. "You heard. Well then, there's nothing more to say now is there?" She grabbed her bag and wanted to walk away, but I grabbed her wrist, knowingly crossing the lines.

"I want to help!"

"Where have I heard that before? Please! Will you stay away from me and what I am or am not going through! I don't want your help, not anyone's concern!" She yelled. Thank god for the glass walls being sound proof.

"He abuses you, He- he raped you!" I screamed, my eyes wide and pleading as I stared at her face, searching for the emotions I was looking for. Now that the words were out.

"And I can handle that, with or without you!" She countered, hands on her slim hips, eyes narrowed very dangerously.

"What? You can't be serious; the guy belongs in jail, locked away. You don't have to put up with this and definitely not alone!"

"If it has to be anyone, it better be me! I'm not going to sue him; I'm not going to do anything, because he will find another victim! Multiple even and I am not willing to do that. And you know? It's people like you that make me miserable. Just please, leave me alone! You're getting yourself into danger!"

"No. I'm the nice guy, remember? I don't just leave, or give up!" I told her, Joe called that being stubborn.

"I call that being stubborn." She said, causing me to raise my eyebrows in surprise. "Your concern is touching, really, but I don't want friends. Because you know what really hurts, more then what he does to me?"

"What?" I whispered, a lump in my throat, feeling only half as strong as she seemed.

"Saying goodbye."

I tried to say something, but was once again cut of words. Her face, was now open, every part of her screamed; lonely, pain! Her shirt had sunk down one of her shoulders, revealing seemingly untouched skin.

"What makes you think I'll say goodbye?" I asked her, dreading the answer, but needing to know at the same time.

She shifted and avoided my gaze. "I've been through it too many times to know how so called caring people, promising forever love, drift apart, fight, and become enemies. I want to avoid that pain again, thank you very much."

I was shocked; to say the least, at her completely unexpected answer. What could someone say to that? "What if I promise you I won't say goodbye?"

She looked sadly at me. "You will, they all do."

"I would never."

"You would and you know it. I can bare it; I have for the last six years. Get yourself out before it's too late!"

We stared at each other, obviously at a tie. I wanted to help her, but I never thought she would not want it.

""Um, hi!" A happy voice suddenly interrupted our staring contest. I looked up with a shot and saw Van Dyke.  
"Am I interrupting something?" He asked, smiling his typical dumb smile.

"No. Perfect timing." I said, sarcastically. Feeling myself move to stand in front of Jay, almost protectively.

"I actually came to talk to the girl. Hi!" He said, leaning around me as I surprisingly bared my teeth in almost a snarl, but kept it in.

"Be polite, Nick and get out of the way." She said, only me getting the double meaning in her words.

Unwillingly, I stepped aside to let the jock pass.

"I was wondering, I think you are very cute. Would you like to go out with me?" He asked bluntly and somehow, confident.

I snorted, picking up my guitar again. Feeling the familiar touches of melodies and words in my head already.  
Like Jay would actually agree to _that. _She was already staring at him like he was some sort of disgusting bug.

"Sure."

And yet, she had to surprise me once again.

I stared at her in disbelieve. Receiving a loving smirk.

"You have PE last period, right?" she asked, friendlier then I had ever seen her. Was she actually flirting with him?

"Yeah." He answered, looking at me quickly for a second and I knew Jay would've caught that, but she only said: "I'll wait for you there." And walked away.

That girl is mystery itself and somehow, it fascinates me. Her voice hypnotised me.

I shook my head and walked past Van Dyke Tosh without giving him even a glance. My teeth gritted.

**{End of last period}**

The whole day, Jay had been ghosting through my mind, what she had said, what she was doing. Actually sacrificing herself. To protect others.

The girl had spine and rock-hard nerves. _And those eyes, the depths of those. Like I could look straight into her soul_.

"Hello Nick!" An enthusiastic voice interrupted my thoughts about how much pain she must've been through in those six years.

"Hello." I reacted, not really caring who it was.

What more was there to her? Why couldn't I get her off my mind? She did not want my help, something that seemed so irrational to me. She did not want my friendship, not even a little bit of comfort, no, she just chose to bare it all and carry it around on those exposed shoulders of hers!

"Why are you like, scowling, Nicky?"

That got my attention, nobody called me _Nicky_. So I looked up. Seeing a pair of pale blue eyes.

"Um... Hi Leslie. Nothing." I answered. Unconsciously noticing how different this girl was from Jay. Her whole attitude.

"It's that girl Jay, isn't it? She dumped you for my brother." Leslie said knowingly.

My head shot up and the images of Jay flirting with Van Dyke came up for a second and I had to admit I did not like it. But the images of what that creep at her home did to her suppressed that.

"It's okay to feel sad about that." She continued.

Yeah, sad I couldn't help her. Because she wouldn't let me!

"But I'll be like, always there!" Leslie told me, patting her shoulder, nodding her head.

Like he would always be there to hurt her.

"And don't worry; I've got the freak covered."

She hated that word, freak. The guy had called her that. Was he her brother, I couldn't imagine it. How had she got into his hands?

"My big bro is taking care of her."

No way a brother would do that, that's simply siblingwise impossible and…

"what?" I asked, finally paying attention. Making Leslie smile brightly.

"She will be humiliated, like she has you." She informed me smugly.

"What!?" I screamed, imagining the cruel things this cheerleader, because there was no way Van Dyke would've come up with this, would do to the already hurt and now that I thought about it, very _small_ Jay.

With the speed of what I assumed to be lightning, leaving my precious guitar next to the bleach-blonde girl, I shot towards the gymnasium. Being exactly on time of hearing a yell.

I groaned, before I realised it wasn't Jay's scream, it was, masculine?

A quite large group of people had formed outside the boys-changing-room. Curious and still scared for Jay, I walked closer.

I saw the familiar blonde head of Van Dyke, but not as I really wanted to see it, not that I ever wanted to see him, because he was only wearing a towel as he came running out the changing-room.

"Who took our clothes?" He yelled, as he was being followed by half the football-team. Who all screamed as they saw what the people standing around had already noticed; all of their clothes, lying all over the hallway, some of them, mostly embarrassing underwear, were hung up.

I noticed Joe and Stella, along with Kevin and Macy and ran up to them, hearing a familiar voice say: "oh, I'm sorry, are these yours?"

"What's happening?" I asked, pushing myself between Macy and Joe.

"Your girlfriends got the whole football-team in their, well not even underwear." Kevin snickered. For a pep-squad-member, he seemed to care awfully less about the football-team.

"YOU!" Van Dyke yelled. "What the hell?"

I looked past Joe's arm and noticed Jay, leaning against the opposite wall. "I'm sorry." She told him calmly. "I just thought you would like your laundry getting washed after I heard your plans of throwing me into the fountain, so my _emo-make-up _would get ruined and the _freakiness _ of my clothes would be made clear." She said, tilting her head to the side.

"Remind me to never make your girlfriend angry." Joe whispered.

"She's not my girlfriend." I told him; though she was a girl I highly underestimated.

"Oh and Van Dyke. I believe that is yours?" She said, pointing up.  
We all followed her gaze and everyone snickered as we saw a half-teddy-bear, half stuffed-pig in a boxer with heart-motive.

"Biggy-boo!" Van Dyke howled. Making even me laugh as everyone else around me burst out laughing.

"Thanks for the date-with-the-fountain invite, Tosh. But I have better things to do then going out with stuck-up-jocks." Jay told him, giving him the sweetest and most devilish smile I had ever seen.

"That's what would happen if you wore your supersquirrel-underwear Kevin." Stella remarked as I stared at Jay, who casually walked away as the team embarrassed gathered their clothes.

Apparently, she was stronger then I had given her credit for. I saw that now, impressed by her little stunt.

But she also hadn't given me enough credit. I would prove to her I wouldn't say goodbye.

I was three points shy of a genius, how hard could it be?


	5. breaking

**Sorry for tha lateness, I do still love you guys. But writing, stories at least, has dropped a bit on my to-do-list… sigh… everything just eats up my time…  
****Enjoy,**

Jay PoV

I was angry, yes, furious, to say the least. How dare he! Messing with me, heck, messing with poor Nick like that!  
Sure, go pick on the weird, freaky girl. _That_ will make you look cool. Sure, go play with a musicians emotions, _that's_ a brilliant idea!

_Hormonal teenagers_! I huffed to myself as I walked outside, the coldness of the air hitting my face, forcing me to close my eyes.

I mean, at least the young Jonas _tried_. He was doomed, but he _tried_ to be nice. No one ever fucking _tried_ to be nice to me.

"Hey! Wait up!"

I almost lost my balance hearing that voice.

I turned around. "Nicholas?" I asked, looking at his guilty, yet oddly _proud _expression.

"Well, yeah, that's my name." He answered, out of breath, his normally already messy curls even messier and all over his face.

"What is it now?" I asked, holding back my emotions like I had so many times before.

"Proving that I won't say goodbye." He breathed, standing up straight after catching his breath. "You walk fast by the way; I had to run through the whole school to catch up with you."

"I have a history with escaping." I told him, coldly, but very truthfully.

He stared at me for a second. "I know." He answered.

"Then why are you here? I told you to go back to your happy-world, I do not want to see another innocent get hurt, I've seen way too much of that!"

He seemed to be slightly taken back, but replied quickly, his eyes somehow managing to shine with concern.  
"What about your own innocence?" He asked, his distractingly brown orbs staring down into mine.  
His question caught me off guard, as I stared back stubbornly, until he looked away.  
"I do not really care. I can have it." I answered.

"Well, I don't really care about mine either. I'm not known for giving up."

It touched me, somewhere, making me calm down to my usual, emotionless self. "Wouldn't want to ruin your image, now would we?"

"All I want is to help!" He told me, a scowl on his face. "And since you won't let me, I'm just going to do what I'm good at, being a friend. I... I will be there for you."  
Anger, finally an emotion I could comprehend.

"How were you planning on being a friend to a fucked up person." I asked, smirking.

He lost his anger immediately. "That is very simple. You'll see. I won't hurt you, I won't ever say goodbye to you."

"Fine!" I groaned, officially giving up on his sanity. "As long as you don't write me a song."

He smiled and then looked away almost guilty-like.

"Great, you already did that." I rolled my eyes, musicians…

"Sorry." He apologised, walking after me as I started to walk away. "I can't really help it."

I sighed and looked back, almost smiling at his face. "I know."

"Just so you know, I loved what you did back there, got Van Dyke nice. You could be an actress as seductive as you were first period."

"I know my way around fooling too, I play with emotions." I said, adding loads of sarcasm as he almost, almost, smiled too. "So what are you going to do now huh, I'm still not believing you, everyone says goodbye, everyone hurts me. You will too, why waste your time and make it hurt more?"

"My plan was just to walk you home…"

I shot him a glance and he winced.

"Okay, almost home. See if I can get you to open up a little, one person can't possibly bottle all that hurt." He said, the look on his face soft and honest.

Once again he surprised me. Nobody ever was friends with me; I was fine with that, people only acted nice to me if they wanted something from me. This seemed, no strings attached.

"Fine, be stubborn like that. It's not like you can stop the obvious outcome of this. You're just delaying it."

He was silent after that and I was sort of happy with his silent presence next to me as we walked the doomed path, now a little bit lightened up.

"You should go now." I told him.

"I don't really want to, I feel like a coward for running off like that." He said, staring down the street.

"Believe me; I have that all the time, the urge to run off." I said, staring with him sadly. "But seriously, go, he won't like to see you and you will not like to se him either."

"Why do you care?"

"Nobody said going to hell has to be done right."

I walked away, leaving him standing there.

**Nick PoV**

She walks away and suddenly, every colour starts fading to grey. Like with her, the world lights up a bit, even with her scarred presence.

Then, another thing I had been thinking about came to my mind. "Jay?" I asked. Making the red-head turn around.  
"What?"  
"How come you have no injuries? You know, after what happened to you."  
"You do not want to know that. It will freak you out even more and I actually like this friendship thing for a change. Now get your butt out of here before it starts to feel very sorry."

She said it very casually, like she said all the things that made me cringe and wince on the inside. Without emotion, hiding the pain, because it must be there. Deep down, buried deep within the little body.

"Okay." I agreed and then turned around. Hating myself more then ever as I left her there in the hell hole, just for her to be screwed up more.

Literally.

Wince.

"Hey Nick!" A happy voice behind me said. "What are you doing here?"

I turned around and saw the happy form of Macy Misa. Her smile was bright, slightly confused, but nevertheless happy to see me.

"Hi Mace." I greeted her, quickly glancing into the direction of the house at the end of the street. "Um… I… What are you doing here?"

"Hey! I asked first." She laughed, tucking her head to the side to see what I was looking at as my brain started to come up with the most ridiculous excuses so I wouldn't spill Jay's secret.

"I'll tell if you tell." I said.

She frowned suspiciously (I always had thought Macy was a smart one) but answered. "I'm helping cleaning up this neighbourhood, voluntarily of course. It gets really nasty down here, they even say there's human-dealing involved in some clubs down here, so I'm helping fixing that. Not the criminality of course, but I do my best."

She smiled as she waved around, as indeed I saw a few others in similar 'save the in need of saving' T-shirts.

"Ah-ha." I reacted. "You are pretty busy aren't you? Sports, school, Stella, this, the JONAS-fan club."

Her smile got even brighter. "Yeah, well, I manage."  
I smiled back at her, making her squeal a little. "I think it's really cool that you're doing that."  
"Really?!" She yelled, then slapping her hand to her mouth to make herself stop screaming.

"Really. Um... Can I help?" I offered, half really liking the idea of volunteer-work, half wanting to stay close to Jay in one way or another, half avoiding her earlier question and half wanting to avoid Joe's interrogation when I would get home.

Yes, I know that all makes two.

"Sure! We were just about to hand out some supplies to the needing. They'd love you to help." Macy said, as a big load of stuff got handed to me.

Suddenly, we heard a pitching scream, coming from the end of the street.

"What was that?" Macy asked, terrified.

I wanted to tell her, I really did, but I couldn't get the words out.

_A young innocent girl is getting abused and maybe raped again there and there's nothing, bloody nothing I can do about it._

So I said: "I don't know." And she swallowed.

The rest of the afternoon I spend with Macy and her not-obsessed-with-JONAS-volunteers. It was kind of fun, though the scream, as if taped into my brain, kept repeating.

Wince.

**{Next morning, at school}**

"Nick!" Stella whined.

"What is it, Stella?" I asked her, tiredly smiling at her.

"Those bruises don't look good with that outfit you're wearing." She pointed out the dark circles underneath my eyes.

I guess it's what you get after a night dreaming of the most horrible scenes you can imagine. Green eyes in pain.

"Nick!"

"Stella, please. Cut me some slack, I don't like it any more then you do." I said, as friendly as I could in my anxious state.

Stella wanted to start ranting again, but Macy stopped her. "Calm down Stella. It's not like he can help it."

I shot Macy a thankful glance, witch she repeated a lot less enthusiastic then she would've before yesterday. She had turned out to be a great person to talk to and we had a lot in common.  
"He was helping me with my volunteer-work all afternoon. I hope it didn't interrupt your rehearsal-schedule?"

"No, it didn't. Rehearsals are this afternoon; I just had a rough night." I shushed her as Stella shot me an apologetic smile. "I had a lot on my mind."

"Like your new girlfriend." Joe laughed.

"Stop making fun of that Joe, it's not funny! She's pretty messed up!" I told him, wanting him to understand what I, what Jay, was going through. I could shoot myself for giving that as my brothers and friends all stared at me with 'what aren't you telling us

Looks.

"She's already here you know, you can stop staring at the entrance." Kevin told me.

"Huh?" I reacted.

"Jay, your girl? She's in the atrium, pretty nasty cut on her face." He answered, pointing towards the glass-room with his guitar.

Staring at him, I grabbed my bag, ready to run for the atrium and check the damage.

"Nick! Stop!" Joe ordered. Witch surprised me; I never had heard Joe speak like that.

"Listen, we're worried." He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. His eyes worried. "Listen bro, we're here for you!"

"We are." Kevin agreed.

I swallowed and stared at their faces, reading the pain on them. I knew it was hurting them, not knowing, Joe releasing that in making lame jokes and Kevin by just being miserable, but I couldn't tell them.

"I'm sorry guys." I whispered and turned around. Not glancing back at their probably hurt faces.

**Jay PoV**

I touched the cut on my cheek and sighed, he stayed with me last night and brought me to school this morning, to strengthen the image and show off his dominance over me.

I hated his voice when he told me "have a nice day." A nasty smile saying; 'and after that'.

Because of that, I didn't get a chance to clean myself up. All the things he did were now visibly there and I knew he loved that, his marks on my body. His claims all over his belonging.

I bit the inside of my cheek, wrong move, as the cut sprang open again and a sharp pain shot through my face.

"Ouch." I groaned, feeling the blood on my finger-tips. I stared at the crimson drops in wonder, thinking about how much of that he had spilled all my life.

_I felt oddly good, somehow feeling Nick's presence in my thoughts. It made me feel better and of course, Matt noticed._

"You seem happy." He said slyly, already sitting on the couch as I walked through the door, his eyes on me. Hunger in them.

"Believe me, I'm not." I told him.

"Not happy to see me, bitch?" He asked, laughing at my attempt of rebellion. "Because I'm certainly happy to see you."

I swallowed. Still feeling the places he had bruised last night. The melodies healed the wounds, not the pain.

"I have schoolwork." I said. Stalking up the stairs.

"You go do that; I'm expecting a call anyway." He said, his eyes back on the TV, almost seeming like a normal person. His half-long brown hair in his electric blue eyes. The tall body I hated with passion, as he touched mine with the same emotions, sprawled out on the couch. His whole body spoke of his self-confidence and ego. Oh how great he was, his power and control.  
I was sad to say he had just that. Me wrapped in his sticky net, all control, my submission, all the freakin' time.

I hurried upstairs and threw myself on the bed in the master-bedroom. A bed I had to share with him. He wouldn't let me sleep anywhere else. I hated that, sleeping in his smell. Then again, everything about him remembered me of the countless times his fist had blackened my skin, brought blood from my veins, had intruded me.

I lied there, in fear, for almost 10 minutes, hearing the call downstairs start and end.

My muscles tensed as clouds of black blurred my sight, his footsteps on the stairs, getting louder and closer.

"Hello my little vixen." He slurred. "I have a present for you."

He slapped the cheek I wasn't lying on, making me turn around and sit up, drawing my knees to my chest. His eyes were devilish, insane in happiness I could never understand, knowledge of the hurt he was going to cause me reflecting in them.

He crawled over to me, grabbed my hair and dragged me closer, so I was half-lying against his chest. I gritted my teeth at the stings, but did not give him the satisfaction of a scream. That humiliation would come later.

_  
I felt a cold material in his hand as he pressed it against my throat, surprisingly, it wasn't sharp. Not a knife._

I heard a click and a _masochistic laugh. "You're mine, only mine."  
He slapped me.  
"Look at it." He whispered in my ear as he held up a small mirror. _Vain bastard.__

I watched at the object around my throat and screamed, high-pitched and terrified.

Around my neck was a collar, like a dogs', with the word WHORE _carved into it._

He laughed at my disgust, distress and fear. Enjoyed my attempts to get away from him.

He threw me on the ground, my head hitting the bed-side table before coming in contact with the ground, cutting into my cheek.

He stood up and towered above me.

He kicked me, straight into the ribs. Kicking the air from my lungs.

"How does it feel, abandoned slut? To be my whore?" He spat. Pulling me up again.

"I hate it." I coughed, feeling blood on my tongue. "I hate everything about you."

He watched me, his tanned hand around my throat. "See? That's what I like about you, nasty little vixen. Breaking you is so much fun_."_

Then, he threw me against the wall, hard.

I fell down, landing in a mess of limbs and pain. Feeling tears glide over my cheeks, stinging in the new wound.

"Feel it. You're mine. No one care's about you."

I tugged at the colour as new tears, just a few of so much, rolled down again.

"He's right." I whispered to myself. "No one cares about me, I better be dead, then I wouldn't have to feel this."

I know I sounded bitter and suicidal. But maybe Nick was right; one person couldn't bare all of that.

"It's not true." The voice I had been thinking about said. "I do care."

I looked to the side and found the new-cherished face.

"Nick." I whispered and then threw myself into his arms. The contact making me feel awkward and giving me the creeps, but his real human-warmth was comforting.

Then, I cried, for real, for the first time in years, now that I had someone else then just myself to cry for. I cried.  
I cried for the hits, the kicks. The cuts and the abuse.  
I cried about he let me be used by his friends, while he watched. I cried about how he tortured me, how he hurt me over and over again. Making my life to a living hell. Breaking my soul and mind, mixing and playing with my feelings until only a blur of darkness and hurt was left.

I cried over him, about my real family, who had thrown me out of their lives. About all the times he had forced me to do things I did not want, about how stupid I was, how much the word on that collar was true.

I cried, because he, the guy with the loving eyes and beautiful voice, cared. It was so strange and still. The feeling of actual concern, his arms around me, comforting. Helping me. It was the nicest thing I had ever felt.

**--**

Just keep in mind that Jay was used to keep in all her emotions for almost all her life, witch is why she isn't sad or depressed _**all**_** the time and well, the girl has spine. So she isn't a broken piece of mess. That's just not who she is.  
Yes, she has the ability to heal herself through music, but she still feels the pain the wounds caused.  
Just feelin' of clearing that up :)**

PLEASE REVIEW… -begs on knees-  
I reply to each and every one of them, because I adore the people that are cool enough to feedback another writer, seriously, PURE UNDIVIDED LOVE TO THEM. 3 


	6. shaking

**Just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down…**

this chapter will contain a character some of you might know and love, someone you might have seen earlier in my stories... :)  
Enjoy, 

* * *

**Macy PoV**

I watched my friend's face as Jay sobbed in his arms, what I saw was expected, but it was still not something I liked to see. Poor Nick…

He was hurt, he was concerned, he pained himself over the girl with the ripped up black clothes. Something was going on with her and Nick knew what. Being the selfless person he is, he was trying to help her and failing.

I was glad for Jay, an outsider and someone who just generally had no-one, to have found someone as Nick, for he was a good listener and he actually cared, but now I was concerned for both of them. Hoping the mess Jay was obviously in, though I had no idea what, wouldn't drag both of them down.

He had his arms tightly around her, her head resting against his shoulder as she ruined the Stella-original. His curls were in his face, not nearly as neat as this morning. His chocolate brown eyes understanding.

What was going on here?

"You see it too, don't you?" Kevin asked, his arms folded and an uncharacteristic frown on his face, watching his little brother and the red-head with concern.

"Yeah, something is not right with that girl." I answered him. My arms equally crossed as we stood there, side by side.

They had now sat down. Nick's arms still around Jay, somehow trying to hold her together, he seemed afraid she would break somehow, if he released her. Having full view, I now saw the bruised beneath Jay's eyes, as I did the injuries.

My eyes narrowed as she stood up; somehow managing to shrink without Nick so close to her and she seemed embarrassed. Wrong word. _Afraid,_ having broken down like this.  
She said something, to cover up for her tears.

He said something back, his eyes concerned, a question of importance. I cursed the fact the atrium was sound-proof.

She answered, explained something, her arms folding around her stomach. Another tear ran over her cheek. She turned around and I noticed she was limping.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, Nick's eyes demanding, Jay's eyes without a doubt resisting that intense stare.

They talked, or rather, Jay explained and Nick listened. Her shoulders went from tense to hanging, her whole body-language changing. Her defences coming down.

Suddenly, Nick softly grabbed one of her arms and firmly pulled her onto his lap. A gentle embrace, without words. I stared at it and couldn't help but smile at this display of affection, which held pure trust.

The bell rang and they both seemed surprised at the sound. Jay jumped off Nick's lap, wincing as the normal movement hurt her somehow.

They stared at each other for another second, Nick holding his guitar and bag, Jay herself, something indescribable going on between them. Eventually, they reached their hands out and let their fingertips contact, before they both walked away simultaneously in different directions.

"Why won't he tell us?" Kevin, beside me, wondered.

I turned to my older, curly haired friend, whose expression made me want to coo him. "Because he's Nick and selfless, he doesn't want to bother us, even though it's obviously eating him up on the inside and I think Jay doesn't want him to. He is gentleman enough to respect her secret."

"Ah." Kevin said, staring at the empty atrium. "I think we have some search-work to do."

"I couldn't agree more." I said, smiling at him, sharing an equally mischievous grin. "But first, we should be off to class."

He jumped at that and the ring of the second bell and we both ran to chemistry, witch we thankfully had together.  
Science could wait, our friend and brother was way more important now.

**{Later that day}**

Kevin and I had decided to go to my house and make some plans. Plans on how to make Nick spill the beans and also because I was home-alone, both of my parents out of town, and we liked hanging out with each other. Especially when Joe and Stella had one of their 'Shopping Spree tantrums'.

"Oh, before I forget it, I have to pick my little sister up later." I told Kevin, who nodded and dumped his bag in the usual place.

"When?" He asked, accepting the coke I gave him and sitting down on the kitchen-table.

"Around six, six thirty. She's too young to go alone and I just don't want her wondering around after dark. I don't particularly like doing that myself." I told him, walking over to sit next to him.

"I could come with." He offered. "Just for your sanity, not that you have much left."

I punched him on the shoulder, him wincing but smiling playfully and said: "Stop that and yes, I'd like that a lot."

We smiled at each other and then Kevin brought up the topic wondering through both our cloud-shaped-bunny loving minds.

"What to do with Nick?"

I sighed. "I don't know, but he seems distracted and down this week, ever since he met Jay."

"I know." Said Kevin, sipping his coke and running his leftover hand through his hair. "He won't talk to us about it, not even when Joe keeps bugging him. He does write songs a lot and from what I've heard of them, they're not his usual love songs."

"We have to help him; he's our friend and your brother with that." I said.

"I know and that means we have to find out the secret he's protecting too, not that I like that, but I think it's unavoidable."

I nodded, understanding him hating to dig into his brothers' privacy, even though it was probably the best for said brother.

Somehow, we ended up in my bedroom, on the thousands of pillows I had there, talking about what we could do (witch turned out to be not that much) and just generally worrying.  
Eventually, we talked about other things and even laughed, like normally. That was nice.

'What time did you have to pick up your little sis again?" Kevin asked. Lounging against my bed, one hand on his knee and his cup of hot-chocolate (something we both loved) in his other.

I looked up from my own cup, witch rested on the pillow on my lap and answered: "Around six. How so?"

"Well, its five past six, we'd better go."

We decided to take Kevin's car and I gave him directions towards our destination.

"Turn right, here." I said. "Misty's house is right over there."

We turned into Hollow's end. A kind of shabby street, I volunteered here sometimes.

Kevin parked and we both got out. Walking up to the house my mom had given me directions to.  
Something nudged my mind, but I couldn't quite catch what I noticed about this place. The light-bulb didn't flash.

We walked to the door and Kevin rang the bell. We heard some happy yelling coming from inside, the barking of a dog and something falling over.

When the door was opened, we came face to face with a middle-aged woman, around my height and a little on the large size.

"Hello." She said, a friendly smile on her face. Though she seemed rather tired. "'re you Amelia's parents?"

"No, no." I assured her, as Kevin coughed loudly. ""I'm her sister."

"Oh, 'kay." She answered, turning around again and yelling: "Misty! Amelia's sister's here!"

From upstairs, we heard some running and the next thing I knew, a small, black-haired girl had thrown herself into my arms.

"Hey Amelia!" I laughed into my sisters' curls.

"Hi Mace!" She giggled and then, over my shoulder, waved at Kevin. "Hi Kevie!"

"Hello Amelia." Kevin answered with a flashing smile. He knew my seven-year old sister very well.

I turned back, seeing dirty-brown curls behind the legs of the mother. I guessed it was Misty.  
"Hi there, are you Misty?" I asked her friendly. Feeling Kevin nudge me, so I gave Amelia to him and crouched down.

The girl appeared from behind her mothers' feet. "Hi." She said slightly, nothing like moments ago when she had came down the stairs yelling.

"I'm Macy, Amelia's sister. I heard you were a nice girl, but Amelia has been fibbing."

The little girl blushed shyly.

"I think you are _very_ nice." I told her, smiling as she returned again, a bright smile on her face, I noticed she was missing her two front-teeth. Amelia giggling behind me.

"Sank you Masie." She said, then looking to Amelia, the two kids sharing a smile and then she looked at Kevin.

She looked again.

And then: "You looks like she curly boy!"

Me and Kevin shared a confused look, Amelia climbing up Kevin's shoulders as I shrugged.

"What do you mean Misty?" I asked her.

"He lookss like the boy thats wass here a few dayss ago! The boy wis the black curlss and brown eyess at Djaiss' house. He had nise closes."

"That sounds like… Nick?" Kevin mumbled.

"Whose house, Misty? Where was Nick?" I asked again.

"The yellings house. He hears the sscreams too! Djaiss house." She answered and I could practically feel Kevin pale behind me.

"You mean, Jay?" I asked. Not paying attention to the mom, who was now shifting uncomfortably. When Misty nodded vigorously she shoved her daughter back.

"That's enough. Shouldn't ya be going?" She asked. "We saw a boy looking like yer boyfriend ere multiple times at that weird house across. I tell you, misery business over there. Shabby people going in, we hear screams, more then in normal houses. Hard girl to manage I guess."

I wasn't sure what concerned me more, the way this woman spoke about beating to raise a child or the fact that it was Jay, Nick's friend, we were talking about.

"Do you know what happens there?" I dared ask, receiving a glare.

"How should I know? I just know i's nothing good for a girl that age; I know there isn't much money in this neighbourhood, but stuff like that? I would never do that to any of my kids, I tell ya. Then again, the girl isn't even his kid. She just came ere, like a lot of those girls that come there, though she has managed longer then any of em." The woman answered me almost angrily.

"Okay, well, yeah, we should be going." I said, my mind racing and not accepting what I just heard.

What kind of misery business was the woman talking about? What did that man, obviously not Jay's father, do to her?  
I wanted to know, but my brain temporarily shut down as I thought about the possibilities and the possibility that Nick was getting dragged into this.

Of one thing I was sure; Jay's injuries weren't accidental.

I walked back to the car with Kevin, him fastening Amelia, who was a little quieter now, catching our mood.

I seated next to Kevin, who drove quite tensely. The darkness now complete.  
As I looked out the car-window. I swear I saw two pair of green eyes shining in the night's dark.

Oh Nick…

**Kevin's PoV**

After I had dropped of Macy and Amelia, I drove home in silence. Not that I could've talked to anyone, but still.

I knew Macy was still highly confused, but I had figured out some possibilities.  
Firstly, I was sure Jay was being abused. Her injuries, tough behaviour (Nick, of all people, had once told me that could be a reaction) breakdown this morning and what the woman had just told us being enough to figure that out, I was sure Macy had too.

And from the way Nick acted and her tears on her shirt, I presumed he knew what was happening.

One of my theories, and the most plausible. Was that Jay was a victim to not only abuse from someone that wasn't even her relative, but also to trafficking.

That made my second theory the worst.

If she was a trafficking victim, witch I was almost sure of, because of the woman mentioning the 'other girls'.  
Jay could be a victim to rape and…

God, I couldn't even think that.

No wonder Nick was in such a bad shape, his hands were tied if Jay didn't want help.

I parked the car in front of the fire-house and barged in. Ignoring my parents', Joe's and Frankie's surprised faces.  
I was glad they were together; I had to speak with Nick, alone.

I half-ran up the stairs and saw Nick sitting behind his desk. I walked over to him, making him look up and his eyes widen at my face.

"Is Jay being abused?" I asked, crouching down next to him. "Has she been raped?"

His eyes said enough as they stared at me. Nick's mouth slightly open.

"Did he do anything to you?" I asked, the question that was of the most importance to me. "Did he see you, did he hurt you?"

"No! No…" He whispered. "He doesn't even know I exist."

I breathed out relieved, I don't know what I would've done if anything had happened to my little brother.

"How did you find out Kev?" He asked.

"I went with Macy to pick up Amelia at Hollow's end."

He nodded.

"Nick." I said, looking into my brother's brown eyes. "Talk to me, please?"

"Since when have you gotten so serious Kevin?" He asked, jokingly, the humour not really reaching his eyes.

"Since my little brother got into a big load of mess and I found out about a young, innocent girl being abused and possibly raped." I answered.

Then, the whole story finally came out.

He told me about following Jay and finding out what happened to her, not all the facts, but enough. That Jay was trying to keep him out. That he wanted to help, but she didn't let him. How he had talked with her, being sort of friends with her. How he felt about the whole thing. About the mysterious healings, lack of obvious evidence, except for this morning, when he had brought her to school. How much he hated himself for not doing anything, how much he hated the beast that was doing this to her.

"I don't know what exactly he does, but it breaks her, every day again, it seems." Nick said. "I don't know what to do Kev! I don't know a bloody thing!"

"Calm down man!" I told him sternly. "It's not your fault! Okay?"

He nodded. Getting a grip on himself again.

"I don't know what he does, I just know he's hurting her, I didn't hear much, but enough to know about the beatings and the rape, but I suspect there's more then that." He said.

Yeah, as if it wasn't enough already.

"She has some sort of healing herself, I don't know what. But you can still see the scars. Some were not just from hits. They were knife-marks. And this morning, there were rope-marks around her wrists."

Nick looked broken. I can't say I blame him.

"Listen to me, Nick." I told him. Putting my hand on his knee, looking up into his eyes, as I sat crouched down in front of him. "No matter what mess, we will always be there for you. We'll find a way to help her, because there's no way in hell…"

"We'll let this happen." He completed my sentence. "I know, I tried."

"And now you have help."

"Help with what?" Joe's voice suddenly interrupted.

Nick's head turned up with a snap and I turned around, seeing our brother standing there, with one foot still on the stairs. He looked concerned and I heard Nick sigh, because he would have to tell his part of the story again.

Then, we three brothers (and Macy) will find out what is going in at Hollow's end.

* * *

**Yes indeed, it is Amelia, our lovely Misa-sibling from Dancing on Water!!  
Until next update, do not forget to leave a message, I have officially become an addict to them.  
Whatever keeps me off the streets, huh?**

cum-chidilee chum-chidilee chum-ta-di-lee… 


	7. paining

**No profits are made out of this and I certainly do not own JONAS. I do however own Jay and Matt (whoop tee doo)**

**Warning: Mature themes and heavy abuse in this one… I'm debating whether to change the rating to M, because its getting a little Mature with the swearing and the sort of epic abuse…  
I know! I'll make a poll!  
You'll all vote, right? :)**

**NICK'S RECORD IS COMING OUT TOMORROW -is excited- YA ALL GO BUY IT, because I can't -sad face- it comes out much l8er over here... T.T  
But I'm excited anyway... GO NICK!!**

**Now, please enjoy this (a little short) chapter, try, because it's not the happiest I ever wrote. Though Story of an Angel might top it..  
Anyway, trailing off…**

**READ! :)**

* * *

**Matt PoV**

The little cunt. How dare she bite me! I was the one that was supposed to hurt her!

I growled at the woman treating the wound on my arm, as she stung it with the cleaning-liquid.

"Just sit still, sir." She said, being used to stuff like this, just not from a user, like me.

When she was done, I scowled her away, barging away from the chair. I pulled my jacket over my shoulders, my chest still bare as I went to look in the grand-mirror. I looked at myself and the master-piece that I am. Muscles, not to big, rolling and flexing underneath my perfect toned skin.  
Electric blue eyes that could hypnotize every woman to submission. They fell at my feet, every time again.

Except my vixen.

I stared at the visible bite-mark on my upper-arm. The marks of her canines clearly visible. She was a fighter; I had to give the bitch that. It's why I kept her for so long. She didn't give up, she didn't break, she was strong and hated me with a fire I warmed myself on.  
Intruding, that she was, so fucking beautiful. The pain on her face as I broke her, over and over again, but she always seemed to heal. The scratches of her nails over my skin, it only turned me on more, even her teeth, sinking into my skin was worth the pain I caused her. So beautiful. It filled me like woman had ever accomplished.  
The way she felt, breathed, _screamed_. Her small body underneath mine. Her pain feeding me. I had no idea why, but hurting her brought me pleasure like nothing else did.

I looked at my light brown locks, my white teeth beneath my smirking lips. I was perfect. That's why the master had me. Why he send me out to fetch his new 'employees'. To ease the mind of the foreign slaves and then watch them break.  
Because I enjoyed pain, it was what I got off on. It was the only thing I wanted.  
I had many before Jay, but they hadn't lasted long, broken to pieces, then shipped on to work for the master.

I walked out the sterile white room, into the smoky red of the club. Half-naked, presumably beautiful girls dancing, accompanied by a few young males, collars around their necks. Watched by men with champagne and cigars. Oh, how powerful and mighty they thought they were. I felt better then all of them, _was_ better then all of them.

"Matthew." A girl on a pole said, crawling towards me. "How can I please you?"

I stared at her, didn't see her face, only her broken eyes and then walked on, hearing her whimper and then yelp as a man slapped her ass.

I left the club, walking along the water. Some people turned their heads as they saw me, women and some men marvelling over my body, others obviously raging with jealousy.

I smiled, smirked, enjoying the attention I craved so much.

Eventually I reached Hollow's end. A place I did not particularly, but Jay hated it even more, because it reminded her of her old home. I stared at the house, anticipating what I would find inside.

I walked into the house and up the stairs, shaking off my jacket in the process. My lips turning up to bare my teeth in a hungry smile.

"Hello." I lisped. Walking into the bathroom. There she was; Cold and soaked from the tips of her little feet to her red-dyed hair –because she knew I loved her natural blonde locks— shining angry green eyes, surrounded by smudged eye-liner, staring at me offended and scared for what I obviously was going to do to her, but nevertheless there was the fire behind it, that got my blood pounding for it's extinguishment.  
She still wore her school-skirt and white-blouse, soaked so I could see her black bra beneath it. Her slim body hugged by the wet material.

She tugged at her chains, as the ice-cold shower kept raining down on her, her lips were blue, as she had been there for several hours now. My collar around her neck. The word, so true, Whore, carved into it. I knew it hurt her and I loved it.

I smiled and walked closer, crouching down. "Hello, little, abandoned freak." I greeted her, loving the pang of hurt behind her eyes.

"Did you enjoy your shower? I hope so." I told her. In reaction she just tugged her chains again, pulling her bare feet closer to herself, shying away from me, a scowl on her face. Detest in all of her features.

I hit her, hard, and her head made contact with the wall. A pathetic whimper leaving her mouth.

I touched her normally rosy-lips, now cold and blue, my nails scratching over them. A growl rose from her chest and her teeth bared.

I smiled and then hit her again, needing the pain of this creature, forcing her to submit.

My hands collided with her body, her stomach, her long-legs and her elegant arms.

Finally, when I felt the salty-warm tears run over my hand, I stopped and lifted her chin. "Good little slut." I complimented her, watching the disgust run over her face, the agony still visibly there.

My hands reached for the tap and saw the hope fill her eyes. Then replaced by suspicion.

Smart too...

I turned off the cold water and instead, but on the heat. So the hot water ran over her almost hypothermic body.

She screamed as the water hit her, she yelled and pulled her restrains as hard as she could.

"You bastard! You monster!" She yelled as I laughed. "You filthy scoundrel!"

I just laughed, enjoying the pain she was in. It was like drugs to me.

Who needed heroin, when I had someone like Jay? My perfect source of pain and heaven.

I hit her, telling her to shut up and then put the cold back on for a few seconds. Releasing her from her bonds.

This was going to be fun.

**Nick PoV**

I could not describe what I felt, not even to Kevin, one of the few persons that knew me. I felt restrained, caged, forced to watch something I couldn't comprehend, something I did not understand.

I saw it, the pain she was hiding, because I was a master in hiding my emotions myself. I saw the pieces, the hurt behind her eyes. Like our mother always said: 'behind eyes lies the soul'.

And her soul was nothing good, not the soul a girl like her should have.  
She had broken down this morning, in my arms. That gesture meaning more then my brothers could understand.  
Jay hated contact. Did not like anyone. But she trusted me enough, even after the little time we spend, talking during school and the walks from school to her street, for that.  
She was so strong, lifting the weight of what she knew, what she had to go through. Because she had said: "I have seen too many innocent lives wasted."  
There were more like her. I was sure of it, that man was an abusive monster, drawing precious blood from Jay.  
She declined the arms I offered her at first, but had accepted them now, probably a first in a very long time. I felt her, at that moment, on a level I didn't understand and I couldn't explain it, not to Kevin, not to Joe.

I stared at Joe, standing at the stairwell, his face confused and concerned as he watched the tears run over my cheeks. The tears for pain I did not feel, not even knew how big the pain was. But for my shoulders, not used to carrying secrets like this, it was incredibly relieving and even emotional to tell, to share my concerns with my older brother.

"What is going on?" Joe asked, his eyes wide as he stared at me. "Nick? What is wrong?"

He walked over. "Is it that Jay girl?"

Bingo. Jeez, when did my brothers get so _smart?_

I nodded.

"I knew it!" Joe whisper-yelled. His straight hair now a little more wildly in his face. "You do like her and she broke your heart! I knew it! You did it again!"

"No, Joe. It's nothing like that. It's way, way worse then just a broken heart." I told him, not feeling to power to snap, like I wanted. I couldn't, he was just concerned for me, after all.

He looked at me, even more confused now.

Kevin stood up. "We're talking broken-soul here, Joe." He finished my sentence smoothly, His eyes hard.

"What? Soul? Nick… how badly are you hurt, exactly?" He asked, turning away from Kevin.

"Me? Pretty hurt, but the broken soul belongs to Jay." I told him. "She's not doing well Joe."

And there it came again, the whole story, like a wave of memories and thoughts, just flooding out of my lips.

Joe's mouth hang open by the time I, filled up by Kevin, was done. His eyes wide and I noticed he trembled.

"She's abused? By a guy she's not even related to? What does he do to her then?" He asked.

"That's exactly why I'm so damn worried, Joe." I begged him to understand. "I. Don't. Know."

He stared at me for a second, his dark-blue T-shirt suddenly making his body a lot skinnier then it was.

Then he spoke again. "Then we have to find out. We have to help her!"

Typically Joe, jumping to the rescue without thinking.

"You're right Joe." Kevin agreed.

_The 'my brothers are getting smart-thing'? I'm taking it back._

"Will you two think for a second? Please? We can't just go there, knock the door and ask: 'hello sir, what exactly are you doing to Jay that causes her so incredibly much pain and agony? We would like a detailed description of her abuse.' He can't find out about us knowing! There's a reason I was keeping this a secret! Everything we do could cause her more pain!"

"But we have to do something!" Joe argued, his eyes shining, striking his hair out of them.

"Don't you think I thought about that? About all possible ways? Jay won't talk about it? He will certainly not tell us, there's nothing we can do that won't expose us and I'm not about to do that, because when we do. _Jay will lose me to._ I'm the only thing she has right now, the only thing that shields her a little, that much is clear as you visibly saw in the atrium. Even though she won't admit it, wants to stay independent. She needs me. As a shield, as an exhaust valve."

Then, Kevin's eyes started to glow with the same fire Joe's had, just a few seconds ago.

"I understand that Nick." He started. "You are bound because she's attached to you. She needs _you. _In some sort of twisted way. You. Not us. Not Macy. Not even Stella. You."

My mind suddenly went blank.

_The 'my brothers are getting smarter-thing'? It's on again._

"Kevin! You're a genius!" Joe exclaimed and then added: "Wow, that was weird to say, but its true!!"

Kevin smiled. "Thanks Joe, I think."

"It's true!" I agreed. Hope spreading through my body.

I had figured that I would have to say goodbye to her, something I had vowed not to do, if I went after her secret.

But my brothers weren't tied like that. They hadn't sworn not to say goodbye, they didn't already love her like I did.

Wait? Huh?

Maybe Joe was right after all…

This day is just getting weirder and weirder…

* * *

**Told ya it was heavy! But the brothers come to the rescue! Yay! :)  
until next update! **

**and do not forget: NICK JONAS AND THE ADMINISTRATION!!! **


	8. finding

To my opinion, mind goes over body, and in my case it does. To me, my mind is the only thing that keeps me sane, keeps me from breaking down into a sobbing pile of broken soul. It is the only thing that keeps me cool and emotion-less, when I need to be.  
I know it's a shield, as Nick, sweet and caring Nick, has told me. But there's only so much a human body can handle, a human mind can take.

I was staring out the window of my room, finally alone, once again alone, after he dragged me to the his bed with him, saying that would warm me up after that damned shower. He had enjoyed my pain as he had his wicked way with me. Whispering what I had to do tomorrow in my ear.  
I stared at the steadily falling raindrops, not getting warm in the monsters' big bathrobe. Not even after the warm shower.  
I realised I missed my new rock, my new shield against the emotions, Nick. I didn't understand why I had grown so attached to him. But the talking at school and the walks to this place were the highlights of my day. To him I could talk, at least a little bit. In his arms, just a few days ago, I had felt truly warm.  
We talked, but I couldn't tell him everything, because it would get him in danger. But him just being there was enough; the idea of him waiting for me at school was enough to pull me through the nights and made me able to stand up in the morning, instead of staying in bed like a dead body.

I watched the rain-drops slide down the glass and wondered. Are there as many raindrops as tears I have shed, alone, behind closed doors? Are there as many raindrops as the times he has used me, hurt me, beat me and yelled at me? Are there as many raindrops as the days I am away from the place I once called home?

I turned around, not able to answer the questions. I walked over to the bed, my hands absent-mindedly tugging on the collar around my neck. The symbol of Matt's dominance over me.

I curled up between the sheets, trying not to think about all the things that happened here and instead just thought about Nick, waiting for me at my locker.

**Nick's PoV**

Like every-day, I waited for her at her locker. It was wonderful to see the mask fall, just for a few seconds, when she saw me and realised, again, I really was there.  
Just the way her footsteps got a little lighter, it meant the world at that moment.

I realised I must have the same reaction, as my features immediately relaxed as I saw her, safe and apparently unharmed, as far as I knew and of course, I knew she was far from unharmed. But she was there, alive and walking towards me.

My hand reached out, in a natural reaction and our fingertips brushed, in the same way as that day in the atrium. Somewhere, I must've let my defences down, because I felt her pain radiating off her, today more then another.

"What happened?" I asked. Not even asking 'if'.

"The usual." She answered.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" I pushed it.

"No." came her short reply. "Now stop pushing. I do not really enjoy you talking anyway."

There it was again. The witty, snappy side of her. The part that showed how strong and independent she was, even with the collar I hated so much around her neck.

She started walking again and I felt a sharp pang in my chest, like a bullet, as I realised just why she wore long-sleeves. To hide the scars. Just why she painted her hair red, because he loved her natural blonde.  
And I knew she was letting me go on purpose, she didn't want me close. Even though we both knew she needed me.

I sighed and started to walk in the other direction; bumping into what was my older-brother.

"You ever think of just turning around?" Joe asked. Staring over my shoulder, at where Jay must be walking.

"Not really." I wondered.

"You're to kind for your own good, you know, she's in some deep shit." He said, flicking his hair out of his face.

"That's what she told me." I sighed. "It's just. I see the fire in her. It's still there, there's something in her. I'll do anything to feed that fire."

"Even though you might burn yourself?"

"Even though I might burn myself."

He smiled. "That's my brother. Now, about me and Kev finding out about what exactly is happening to her." He said, swinging an arm over my shoulder and walking with me, us having geography the first hour together.

"Yes, about that. I thought about it." I told him.

"Me too. We're on the same level, bro." Joe laughed.

"I think it's a bad idea."

"I know! I mean, huh?" Joe came to a halt, turning to face me. "What do you mean? I thought we were on the same level?"

"We are, somewhat. It's just. It's dangerous; Jay made it as clear as that." I said, trying to walk past my brother with an apologetic smile, but he stopped me.

"Hey, you're the one that wants to help her, as to we, right?"

"That is true, but I don't want anyone getting hurt, including Jay."

"We can do this, Nick. You can count on us." He argued, not understanding.

"Jay does everything, sacrificed her own sanity, to not tell me, to not get it off her shoulders and get me safe. It seems like a pretty pathetic payback to go and sneak on her." I shot back.

"You can't just watch, you're not like that. If you want to help her, then why don't you want to find out what is hurting her?" He asked. "I don't get you Nick; she's messing with your head."

Yes, she was. So incredibly messing with my head. But I can't help it.

"I know."

He watched me and then pulled me into a hug. At first, I struggled, but then relaxed in my older brothers' comforting arms.  
"She's hard on you isn't she?"

"Not she. The burn is just uncomfortable. The worry puts me through worse then the purgatory" I answered and then stepped away, both of us walking to class.

**{Maths}**

"Hey." I said, dumping my bag next to the red-head in the back. Her body not even wincing like she did when others got close to her.

"Hi." She said. Our fingers touching for a few seconds before we sat down in our advanced-math class. It was one of the few classes we shared, including English and music-history.

"You ok?" I whispered. I understood most of the math the teacher would be explaining today and I was sure Jay did to, so it was okay to softly talk.

"I'm great, absolutely fantastic." She answered. "But I don't want to brag, especially not in class."

The message was clear. 'Not here'.

"Okay." I agreed and instead asked about her favourite season.

"Spring." Was her absolute answer.

"Why?"

"Because it stands for new beginnings after the death of winter. It is the time of year everything gets colour, stops being black and grey. It's the season of hope and nature." She answered. Her green eyes settling on mine, a soft smile on her face.

"True. Favourite flower?" I asked.

"Why, aren't you talkative all of a sudden" She told me.

"Well?" I said, choosing to ignore her comment.

"The white star of Bethlehem."

I smiled surprised; this girl surprised me every time again. There were these two sides of her, the tough, protective of herself, seductive and tempting side, daring and dark. Then there was her lighter, sweeter side. Tender, graceful and creative.

Her green orbs went back to her books and I noticed she wasn't doing math.

"Already done with the assignment?" I guessed.

"Bing-go." She popped her lips.

I looked at her hands and the silver-black pen her fingers held. She was writing in a medium-sized, worn notebook. Her other hand fingering the collar around her neck. It wasn't loving, like you saw a lot of girls do with necklaces. It was almost scratching, an absent mined attempt to get it off, knowing she wouldn't succeed.

"What are you writing?" I asked, picking up my pencil myself.

"Stuff."

There it was again, the mysterious, almost mean attitude. So tempting to ask, even tough I knew I shouldn't.

"But what exactly?" I continued.

She shot me an annoyed, half-amused look and tossed me the notebook. Leaning back into her chair, stretching her muscles with a slightly pained look.

I looked down, reading what was in front of me and raised my eye brows, turning pages, faster after another.

All throughout the notebook were little poems, lyrics, chapters of stories and seemingly random thoughts. The songs were sad, angry sometimes. A sound of desperation and deeply melancholic Apparently, she had found a way to wave her own pain through them and well, they were good.

Then, the last page.

_My world, my hopes and dreams. _It said.  
_So shattered to pieces. Destroyed.  
At once as it seems.  
Something I don't want to avoid. _

These four lines. Just these few words, showed what she had been hiding. A little hope. _Hope._

I closed my eyes and made a desicion. _No, I couldn't just watch. I wanted to help her. I had to help her. _

"They're good." I told her. Immediately feeling the notebook being snatched away.

"No they're not." She whispered. "They're mine."

At that moment, the bell rang.

"Thanks anyway." She said. Brushing my hand with her fingertips in a gesture of gratitude.

"One last question."

She smiled. Stuffing the notebook in her bag. "Sure."

"Why the white star of Bethlehem?" I said, swinging my own over my shoulder and rolling up my sleeves.

"Because it stands for hope." She smiled. "Oh and Nick"

I was taken back by her simple answer. "Yes?"

"Don't walk with me today."

Her face was sad. Her eyes apologetic.  
I knew, some where deep down in a place no-one really can describe, that something was wrong.

She walked away. Leaving me be, so I would be safe, but right now, I was feeling anything but safe.  
I was going to break a promise.

**{After school}  
**  
"Kevin! Joe! Macy! Stella!" I yelled through the hallways, four heads by our lockers looking up to see me running towards them.

"Guys. I need your help." I panted and looked at their surprised faces, a chorus of: "of course, what is it?" making a mile come to my face, confusing them more.

**{And so}**

"C'mon." I whispered, hiding once again, behind a corner. Followed by Macy and Kevin, Joe and Stella given the task of checking out the house, if empty, try to find out more.

The three of us, were currently following Jay, a difficult task, seeing she saw and heard right about _everything.  
_  
As I had suspected, she didn't go to her house. (Otherwise, I would've gone with her like every day, asking her more stupid questions)

Instead, she walked downtown, or rather, she walked parallel to downtown.

"Where is she going?" Kevin thought out loud.

"Don't know, but she seems to be going towards the clubs down there, pretty nasty ones, if you ask me." Macy answered, once again showing her knowledge of the city we lived in, even though I had came to the same conclusion.

We were currently walking through a busy street.

"Keep close!" I warned my friends. "And keep an eye on Jay; we could lose her in this hectic mass."

Both my companions with almost the same shade of hair nodded, following in my track.

Jay was walking about 15 feet in front of us, her fiery hair bouncing. Her hands in her pockets, walking to the beat of some music playing.  
The music was kind of strange, something I had never head before and from experience I knew only popular music was played at fairs/events like this. I had been to way to many with our mom.

Eventually, we reached the end of the streets, where a shabbier part of the city began, making me wonder how I always ended up in places like this.

Strangely, the music kept playing, even though we were far past the fair and I saw Kevin glance back a few times to, indicating he noticed it also.

Jay stopped at a red painted door, red light shining through the glass. It was a fancy building, very large and rich looking. I saw her take a breath and then walk in, though not through the front-doors, but a door a little bit more to the side. Black instead of the fancy white of the building. Almost castle-like.

I wanted to proceed, but Kevin stopped me. "Hold it. Watch."

From the door Jay had just walked in stepped a woman and I had to really focus on her to see, darkness falling quickly.  
The woman was very… strangely dressed. A tight corset-like thing around her torso, black latex shorts and high-heeled boots. Shortly said, she was dressed like a prostitute.

"A hooker?" Macy bluntly asked, astonished.

"I think so." Kevin added. "But I'm not… sure."

Suddenly, a man walked around the corner, hands in his pockets and his head almost buried in his collar. He walked quickly, through the front doors of the 'club'.

"Definitely a hooker." Macy noted.

My face must've betrayed me, because Macy leaned her head on my shoulder, while Kevin rubbed my arm.

I couldn't believe it. Jay, innocent yet completely insane Jay, who put me through hell the last couple of days and yet made me fell very… _good_. A hooker.

No. Never.

Then it hit me.

"That bastard!" I spat. Getting confused looks from both Macy and Kevin. "He is forcing her into prostitution! The monster, that's why she's been so off today, god she's in so much deep shit!" I was really angry now, how could he do this to her. How could she do this to _herself!_

"She's so stupid, how in the name of heaven does she put up with this." I continued to rant. Starting to walk towards the building and if needed drag her out of there, but got once again stopped by Kevin.

"Nick, use your head. Even though that's a weird sentence from me to say to you, of all people. It's dangerous there!"

As if on cue, the doors opened again. The body of someone thrown out and a scream of: 'don't show your fucking face here ever again!' following.

"I'm not letting you go in there." Kevin said, almost commanding. "I'm not letting my little brother go into a building, a dirt-hole like that!"

I let my shoulders hang. "You're right Kev, I shouldn't…" Then, when he was caught off-guard. I turned around and ran for it.

"Nick!" he yelled, but I knew he wouldn't follow and he knew it too. Macy was once again my saviour.

I tried the black-door, the one she had went through, but it was locked. For a second, I stood watching it, like it would open if I would stare at it, then; I turned to the large white doors. Took a deep breath and walked in.

What I saw, was nothing I had expected. It wasn't dirty and sweaty inside. It was large and smokey, yes. But it was also, classy and rich-bastardish. Large, stretched couches covered the sides of the room, small tables covering the space between that and the large stage and cat-walk in the centre of the room. Everywhere, adolescent and some mature boys and girls were dancing. On tables, poles and laps and naturally on the stage. All having one thing in common; they were very barely dressed and wore collars around their necks. Some even having leashes and other kinky-stuff.

There were men, a lot of them. Very wealthy-dressed, or the contrary, but they were there, lusty glances and a lot of touching to the barely-dressed and crawling bodies.

I was disgusted, on the edge of vomiting as I gazed at this scene. Because this wasn't prostitution of free will. I could see that from their collars and the strong looking bouncers watching them. To make sure they weren't hurt to badly, the expensive silver indicating they were of value and to make sure they did their work.

I shuddered as a skinny-guys stare fell on me and turned around, towards the stage.

That's when I saw her. On stage. Flaming red hair, red skin and startling green eyes and covered in black-silky fabric.

She was beautiful, astonishing. The scarves wrapped around her slim body as she moved to the music in a hypnotizing way. Long ribbons travelling and twirling behind her.  
Her voice singing to the music, beautiful and intoxicating. Mysterious and innocent. Dangerous and flaming and I realised this was what she was supposed to do. Not the prostitution thing, but the singing, the dancing, the way she moved. It was astonishing.  
The expression on her face was that of pain, but that only strongened the effect of her performance. I couldn't take my eyes of her.

**Matt PoV**

On a boring day like this, what is better then to see my little vixen suffer? Making her do what she hated so much?

Only one thing; a new pray. And what a beautiful prey I had found, the master would be pleased if I brought this one in. He was handsome and pretty in an innocent way, his expression disgusted by what he saw after he half-ran into the club. I suspected he had a sister or something that was taken by a lover boy.  
His black curls, something I wanted to run my hands through and tug, contrasted with his only slightly olive skin, chocolate-eyes to finish the beautiful face.  
He was tall and a little muscled, but not too much, exactly right. Slim, with pursed, plump lips to finish. How beautiful would they scream?

I had a new prey, which willingly jumped in my vision. He shuddered under my stare, not really seeing me, watching my beautiful slave on stage.  
I smiled, baring my teeth. Let the hunt begin.

* * *

**Cliff-hanger! Long time no see!  
Well… that was a heavy chapter… -wipes sweat from forehead- can any of you guess what I used for inspiration??  
Once again, vote for my poll! Should I change this to M?? Or review/PM me with your answer and what you thought of the story!**

**LOVE TO THE NEW NICK J CD!!  
~silver**


	9. talking

**Nick ****PoV**

So this was one of her secrets she so desperately didn't want to tell me. She was not only abused, but also forced to work in a club, a strip club. How messed up was that?

I could honestly say I was disgusted, not only by the fact of her displaying her body to the lustful eyes of the men in the club, with their cigars, champagne and marriage-rings on their fingers.  
I was also grossed out by the fact that someone made Jay, a young, sort of innocent girl, do this. Made her do this.

I wanted to run up that stage and drag her down. Get mad at her, yell and rip her away from this life.  
At the same time I felt the urge to just carry her out, hug her close and walk away without looking back.

I flinched, realising someone was staring at me, again. The guy from a few minutes ago, he was still staring at me with eyes that didn't hold much kindness. He was staring at me with very deep electric blue eyes, strands of messy brown hair hanging over them.  
I watched back for a few seconds, a very uneasy and downright scared feeling in my stomach.

I walked backwards, just one step and he moved with me. His eyes intense staring into mine.

I glared at him and then turned away, facing the stage again and from the corners of my eyes, I saw him walk back into the shadows, a frightening smile on his face.

When I relaxed a bit, when the tall man was out of my sight, I focussed on my first priority again, Jay, and realised I was standing way to close. I looked up and as she turned around, the white strands of silk flying around her, she saw me.

Her green eyes, which I noticed weren't as bright and witty as a few weeks back when I first met her, widened at my sight and she stopped in her track, breaking the sensual tension in the air.

She just stood there, frozen and terrified. Staring down at me from up the stage.

"Jay." I whispered, in my turn breaking the tension.

She ran, at first stumbling backwards, her lips forming an unbelieving 'O', but then turning around and full force running for it.

I acted on instinct, jumping up the stage and past the other two dancing girls, or at least, I though it were girls.

Her bare feet barely touched the ground as she fled, through a curtain and out of my sight.

I ducked through the curtain, stopping when I saw the silk scarf lying on the ground. I picked it up, feeling the warmth still in the fabric, looking around.

I was now standing in what looked like backstage on one of our concerts, only without the screaming, the family and way creepier.

There was lots of leather, some iron chains and other things I didn't want to look at. A trail of seemingly bloody footsteps leading me into the right direction…

I followed them, the silky scarf in my balled hand. Where was she? Was she okay? What had happened and _what _was up with the blood?

Eventually, when my worries were reaching a peak, I reached a door, seemingly an emergency exit, but without the shiny sign.

It was white, again, giving the fake image of pureness. _What a godforgotten place is this? What did that bastard pull her into?_ I asked myself as I pushed open the door, but the questions were forgotten immediately.

I had thought this building, full of _slaves_ and degrading toys, where bodies were sold, not even with their permission, this house full of dirt and evil, that this was horrifying.

But the image of Jay, curled up against a grey brick wall, tears staining her face, only wearing now dirty and red stained silk scarves around her body and the silver choker, green eyes pained and _hurt_, was way more horrifying then all of that.

She didn't saw me and I realised she was singing, a beautiful song, sung with words I didn't understand, her voice small and pure.

I heard music, seemingly coming out of no where, accompanying her in her soul wrecking sob-song. It was soft and full of sadness, like the image of her, sprawled on the ground.

I walked closer, now convinced she was deliberately ignoring me and sat down in front of her, on my knees as she sang, the unknown language leaving her mouth with more emotion then I had ever seen in her.

I looked down, at her feet, softly touching it and turning it around gently. I bit my lip as I saw the ripped and tormented skin.

She gasped and then, the melody changed, into something different, more intense then soothing.

To my astonishment, I saw the blood stop, the wounds pulling back and new skin forming over it, until nothing but small scars were left, like it hadn't just happened a few minutes ago, but rather a few months.

In wonder, I touched her feet, only to find solid, soft skin underneath my fingertips as the music changed again and I forgot about what I just saw.

I crawled further, until I was seated against the wall next to her and pulled her into my arms, curled up on my lap and against my chest as her tears stained my shirt.

She stopped singing, the music flowing away until there was only silence left, except for her sobs.

"He rapes me." She began. "He does, you know that. He loves torturing me; it's why he keeps me. I was sold to him by my insane mother, who pushed out her cigarettes on me and already had enough children. She sold me to him, even though my father tried to stop her. But they killed him in order to get to me. My mother has probably killed herself with drugs already. Ever since I've been all, but everywhere. A slave and a doll, but nobody liked me."  
She told me, a sort of insane happy smile growing on her face. "I had too much fire; I didn't give in, not even after a while, not after beatings, threads, starvation, showing me the hard way or from exhaustion. They sometimes barely kept me alive, put me on drugs, cut off my medicines. But I never gave in. I never gave my body, they took it. They found him and they took it. He was intrigued by me. Obsessed with breaking me, hurting me. He is addicted to pain, a hurt-junk. He makes my life a living hell, loves the fact that I don't give up, so the only thing I can do is give in, because he hates that. But when I give in, he punishes me for that too."

"Why don't you just run away?" I asked, softly rocking back and forth.

"I can't run away, because they'd always find me." She sighed, burying herself deeper into my arms, as if she'd never felt an embrace before. "And, well, I cannot live without him. As bullshit as that is."

**Jay PoV**

I was terrified when I saw him there, standing just there, at the end of the stage, his eyes on me, hurt in the brown orbs. Not for himself, but for me. That terrified me more then ever because frankly, I haven't seen that emotion much in my life.

So I did the only thing that seemed reasonable at the time, run for it, like I had done so many times before, even if it made me feel bad, even though my feet hurt like crazy from the dancing, I ran.

I ran past the confused faces of my fellow slaves, though their eyes were broken. Past the angered faces of the men I despised. Through the hallways, past all the rooms, as if I was in a five star hotel. Not hearing the disturbing sounds. Just keep on running. Towards the door to the open attic.

I bursted through the door, feeling the soothing of the cool air on my exposed skin. Breathing in deeply and feeling my knees buckle underneath me. I crawled up into a ball, feeling the tears roll over my cheeks.

He was there, he saw me. Oh, how he must despise me now. How he must hate me, he must think I am a slut, a whore. And just that I am, even though I try not to be.

I called the melodies, to soothe me, when his arms would never again. The warm hug of the music felt nice, but empty. I missed the warmth that Nick's arms had provided, even though I had only felt it once in my life, for the first and last time.  
I let the notes take me away from my aching body, the hate towards myself and the memory of this morning and the feeling of the knife over my stomach.

Then, suddenly, he stood there, his eyes wild and his clothes completely messed up. Though not as messed up as I was. I ignored him and kept on singing, hoping it would drag me away, into a dream-like state so I didn't have to feel it all. I was running, again.

But he didn't, he almost slowly advanced towards me, as if afraid he would hurt me if he moved to fast and sank down, watching my face anxiously. He touched my feet and a pang of pain shot through them, I ignored it, it wasn't as if I hadn't felt more of that throughout my entire black hole of a life.

He gently picked my right foot up and looked at it. His hands soft on my tortured feet.  
In a natural instinct to hide myself from him, I healed myself, trying to cover the wounds in the only way I knew.

I saw his eyes widen at the sight, but he didn't say anything. Instead he gave me what I craved the most, his arms. His warm strong arms around me, a gesture I never thought to need so much.

I realised I trusted him, already loved him, so I talked, like he had wanted me to do since the beginning. Just because of the fact he was here, he followed me, he risked his life, on purpose, to help me. To make sure _I _was all right.

He hugged me closer as I talked, unconsciously, his face showing the obvious, but also the unexpected emotions. There was rage and concern, love and hate, hope and sadness. So much I could only stare at his face, talk and read them.

I trusted him. He hadn't broken his promise, he hadn't left me. So I told him what he wanted to know.

"Why don't you just run away?" He asked.

I wished it was that simple.

"I can't run away, because they'd always find me." I answered. Feeling him shift so he could look at me, his eyes in question, noticing the second part of my answer.  
"And, well, I cannot live without him. As bullshit as that is." I continued.

I felt him stiffen at this, not demanding, but asking an answer with his eyes.

"I have Sensophia Admentium. A rare blood-disease. My body creates a toxic substance that attacks my blood-cells."

He started to understand, because I saw the knowledge in his eyes.

"Matt, to the government, is my legal guardian. The medicine for what I have is very dangerous and as an under aged girl, I could never get it myself, so I'm fucking dependant on him for it." I said, venom in my words, as well as my blood.

"Is it very dangerous to you?" He asked, naturally concerned in my health when he was the one in danger here.

I started to come to myself again and noticed the incredibly vulnerable position I was in, the skin on skin starting to freak me out again instead of calming me down. I could think straight again and I was now wondering why the hell he was here? Didn't I tell him to stop trying to help me? I thought so.

I saw his expectant eyes and realised he wanted an answer.

Oh, might as well… "No." I said. "It's not dangerous or threatening when I get my shot every day. The annoying thing is that when I don't. It' hurts. So he just stops giving me shots sometimes."

"What more does that monster do to hurt you?"

"Well, he hypotherm'd me a few days ago, left me underneath the shower for at least 3 and a half hours. He hits me with practically everything he can find, and I think I saw him take a nine-tail from the stock a few hours ago."

Nick winced, hugging me closer and making me even more uncomfortable. So I struggled against his hold.

He released me at once, afraid to have hurt me more after what he'd just heard. I crawled away and went to sit a feet or 2/3 away from him. Hugging my knees, even though my stomach still hurt.

"The nine-tail isn't that bad. I've had that before. The branding, that hurt bad." I reassured him, but only made his eyes widen more, his mouth open in shock.

"He branded you?"

"Yeah."

I knew I was speaking little of my injuries. Not only because I knew very damn well how much they hurt, but also because of the disbelieve on Nick's face.

"It's okay. I can handle it." I said. Like I had told myself all those hundreds of times. I hoped it did help with him.

Probably not, because he said: "How can one person handle all that? It's horrible what he does to you. You're not an animal, I mean, you don't even do that to an animal, you don't do that to anything!"

God, he was stubborn.

"Listen, I lived with it for the last four years…" I started, but got interrupted.

The door opened, very slowly and in a way that I recognized.

It opened completely and in the doorframe stood the familiar tall body of Matt, his face serene, but his eyes fixed at ours.

In a flash, I realised what he wanted. Recognized the look in his eyes, just the general way he was standing there, all dominant and demanding.

My whole body refused that idea and once again I reacted on instinct, shooting up, even though it triggered pain.

"No." I said. "No. No. NO, absolutely not."

I turned to Nick. "Get out!" I screamed, right to his face. "Get your sorry butt out of here. Right! Now!"

Nick scrambled up. A highly confused look on his face.

"Jay… What..?" He began, but I shut him off.

"Shut up! Just shut the hell up and get away from me! I… I… Just go!" I yelled, at the top of my lungs.

Nick looked over my shoulder, seeing Matt behind me. Recognition on his face.

"Is that..?" He began, but I interrupted him again.

"Fuck off! Get out! NOW! I…" god I hated myself for this, but I had to get him out of here. "I hate you! I never want to see you again! You disposable little brat!" I cried out. Shoving him off as hard as I could.

Nick's face changed from confused to hurt and I saw his hands tremble.

"Fine." Be breathed, but I could see his brains working already, trying to find out what I was doing and I was sure he would find it. Too late, but he would find it.

He walked past me with a last sad expression and out the attic door. He'd find his way out…

I stayed still for a good twenty seconds before I turned around and looked into Matt's blue eyes.

"You knew him, huh?" It wasn't a question, but a statement.

I stayed silent.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend, he could've come over to dinner?" He continued, sickly sweet. The smile on his face nearly insane.

"He's not my boyfriend." I answered shortly. "He's just an arrogant brat that can't keep his ugly nose to himself."

"Oh, well, I'd say he was far from ugly, my dear little whore." Matt said, forcing me to look up to him with his hand around my chin. "Why didn't you tell me, huh? Why didn't you tell me about the pretty boy you met, now?"

I knew what he would do before he did and I hardly winced as my back came in contact with the hard bricks, the punches in my stomach sharp, but bearable. I remembered who I did it for. It wasn't just empty fighting anymore, because I clearly saw the loving, unharmed face of Nick in front of me ads I took the punches and the slaps, even the nine-tails. Matt's anger on me only meant Nick was safe. And that was enough for me. Even though he didn't give me my shot that night. The night on the ground, my hands tied to the leg of the bed. It was worth it, because Nick was safe.

**See Chibiyu, that's how you're nice to Nick. At least in this chapter… Nick will get it in the following pieces.  
Anyway, I hoped you liked it! Update for things We Learn From Jonas will probably come up somewhere tonight too. So say yay everyone.  
Oh and did you catch the new duet between Joe and Demi? I love 'make a wave'!! (if you didn't catch it, you obviously don't have twitter) (why I have it? No idea)**

don't forget to vote on the polli n my profile and I hope to see ya next time!  
Reviews mean love (something I could use after writing this chapter) to me.  
~silver


	10. capturing

**Nick PoV (after he runs out the attic-door.)**

I ran. Yes, I ran, because it was the only reasonable thing for me to do at that moment. What had happened? I questioned myself.

One minute, Jay was in my arms, finally crying her heart out, letting down her tough mask, telling me about the horrible things that man did to her. Her voice as she talked still ringing in my head.

_'__I was sold to him by my insane mother, who pushed her cigarettes out on me.'_

Used as an ashtray, I thought, stumbling through the hall, my hands touching the wall in order to stay erect. My feet hitting countless of wooden crates, sprawled out objects I couldn't place in my hazed mind. Not only of shock blocking my view, but also my tears.

_'I didn't give in, not even after a while, not after beatings, threads, starvation or exhaustion. They sometimes barely kept me alive, put me on drugs, cut off my medicines. But I never gave in. I never gave my body, they took it.'_

Her whole life, tortured and used. Her whole existence was a walk through hell and beyond. I bit my own fist, trying to keep a cry inside my aching chest. Walking on, the white walls of the goddamned, way to large house, blurring as I ran past.

'_He was intrigued by me. Obsessed with breaking me, hurting me. He is addicted to pain, a hurt-junk. He makes my life a living hell, loves the fact that I don't give up, so the only thing I can do is give in, because he hates that.'_

Still, she had told me so little, just a short snippet of what her life contained, a little of the blackness heart had bared. And already, I felt the need to scream. How strong must this girl be, how much fire must she have.

And then, she had been gone, her hurtful, finally pure face covered by the mask again. Yelling at me to get the hell out, as that man walked in. His creepy blue eyes fixed on her, but quickly shifting to me, with a glance that had made shudders run over my spine and back.

I shuddered again now, turning a familiar corner, finally. Trying to get out of here.  
I ran into some junk, stuff that was probably used for things I didn't even want to think about. It fell to the ground with noise that would alarm possibly every person in this building but I didn't notice. Just as I didn't notice the entangled bodies or the animalistic sounds rising from the messy limbs.

I followed a trail of leather and cupboards that looked slightly familiar, as well as the faint trail of blood, backwards.

I finally burst through the curtain. Surprised faces watching my hasty moves as I kept running and leaped off the stage and through the club.

Who was this idiot, that had walked into mine and Jay's encounter? His eyes, a creepy kind of blue, had looked so… hungry, dangerous. Bad.

I wasn't a person that relied on his guts, but when your instincts scream: 'Run!' as well as Jay yelled at my face, you don't really have a choice.  
Except when you _are_ Jay, of course.

So I ran, through the exit and over the streets. Running away from the girl that yelled at me, said she hated me! When the only thing I wanted was to help her! Why had she done that, when this dude had come in, who was he and what did he…?

I ran faster, frantic and almost crazy, as I realised who he was; that man was Matt, the man that had hurt Jay so many times, breaking her time after time, and she, once again, had attempted to protect me. Sending me away in the only way she knew; by refusing me, reject and hurt me. She was probably getting punished for whatever that man came up with. For me. Because of me.  
Then, suddenly I was in my brother's arms, who was surprisingly close to the club.

"Nick! O god, Nick! You're OK!" Kevin whispered, deep relieve in his voice as he supported my body. Not noticing the tears running over my face, yet.

"don't ever do that again." The shaky voice of Macy added, softly stroking my cheek.

I couldn't smile to reassure them, thought their concern made me warm inside. I could only think of the fact that Jay, didn't have this.  
She only had me.  
Kind of.

**Joe's PoV**

Even though I'm principally against breaking in on someone's privacy, I felt no remorse as Stella and I, under the cover of twilight, stood by what was Jay's backdoor.

"Got it!" Stella said and opened the door. Her lock picking skills surprisingly shocking.

"Stella, you're a genius!" I said with a smile. My eyes wide as I stared at the open door.

"I know, love or hate me for it, now come on!" She said, swinging blonde hair out of her face and then urging me in.

We walked in cautiously, not wanting to get caught, though It _seemed_ a kind of normal house.  
It very much showed off the poverty of this neighbourhood. We entered a small kitchen, which was attached to an even smaller living room. Old furniture that my mom would've despised , together with a few newer looking cupboards and a freakin' flat-screen.

"Let's see what's in this cupboards." Stella said, taking her job very seriously.

I nodded and walked towards the livingroom. Slowly looking around, as if I was gong to be attacked any minute. Flicking my hair back and scanning the area like a trained ninja.  
So far, I didn't see anything serious, except for the horrible taste in colour.

"C'mon, Joe. Search." Stella said, passing by. "We only have this much time to help thepoor girl!"

I nodded. "What about I go search upstairs?"

She nodded and I walked over to the stairs. The steps creaked while I walked upstairs and found my first hint.

A bloody foot print, small and alone, about halfway up the stairs. I looked at it for a second before proceeding. A heavy lump in my throat.

It wasn't that large upstairs either, only a master bedroom, a bathroom and a locked room.

It smelled a bit odd, a little rusty. Almost salty.

I walked into the door on the right, finding a queen-sized bed, a small cupboard, a life-size mirror and some more cabinets in what was probably the largest room in the house as it coverd almost all of the second floor. The master bedroom, of course.

I looked underneath the bed, finding nothing but the smell of bleach. Cleaned. Of what? I wasn't sure I wanted to know.  
I looked in the large night-stands where I found nothing but clothes, which was weird. Because a normal person would use the cupboard for that.

Taking a deep breath of expectation, I tried to open the cupboard, surprisingly. It did. And I didn't like what I saw.

"Stella!" I shouted. My eyes fixed on the objects in the cupboard, rage flaming through my chest.

To a normal person, this might, just might have seemed as a hobby of a man and his wife or something, but to us. This was bad.

Stella gasped as she appeared next to me and saw the shiny leather whips. The neatly lined knives. Rolled up black ropes. Thick silver chains. Heavily spiked metals. Pairs of black and red gloves, strongened with what seemed pure gold.  
This dude was rich and extremely sick.

"I'm going to puke. Do you think he's using all this on Jay?" Stella asked, her hand in front of her her mouth.

"Yes. I very much think so." I answered through my teeth. Remembering the long scar in the shape of those whips I had seen on Jays shoulder, when her shirt fell of her shoulder hugging Nick.  
Needless to say, I hadn't told Nick.

"I've seen enough. I bet ya there's more. But I'm not going to look for it." I said Stella, putting my arm around her shoulder, waiting for approval.  
A tear ran over her cheek as she nodded and we hurried out of this devil's place.

We didn't saw the pale blue eyes and the taunting smirk behind the glass.

==

"Guys." I started, walking up to the group of people in the alley we separated earlier, with Stella, still shuddering, in tow. "You will not believe what we found."

Then, I saw the scene. Even though it was already really dark; Nick in Kevin's arms. An alarmed expression on my older brothers' usually so carefree face. Macy standing next to them, seemingly having no idea what to do.

"Stella, Joe." She breathed and Nick looked up from Kevin's shoulder. The pain in his eyes making my cringe.

"What happened, you ok?" I automatically asked.

Nick nodded. But I could see he wasn't. Something had shaken him. So I turned to Kevin, with a questioning look. But he just shrugged. There was nothing he knew more then I did either.

"He just came running out of the club like that." Macy said, her hand resting on Nick's shoulder now, leaning against Kevin's to do so. "Something happened. He keeps muttering something about pale eyes."

"Pale blue eyes, doesn't Amelia have blue eyes?" Stella wondered.

Before I could tell Stella that Amelia, Macy's adorable little sister, in fact had in fact very much dark blue eyes and couldn't possibly have anything to do with Nick's state of mind, Macy gasped and said a very un-Macy like word.

"Amelia! I have to go pick her up! She's at Amanda's house and I don't have a car!" Her eyes went wide as she looked at Nick. Afraid he might be to less okay for her to be going.

"Go, pick up Amilia. Make sure she's safe." He said to her, looking at the athlete quite intensele and the way he told her to make sure her little sister was okay gave me shudders. Who wasn't okay?

"I'll bring you. I should've been home hours ago." Stella announced, a little shaky as she let go of my hand. "Joe, Kevin, get Nick home. We'll sort this out later. Joe, tell them what we saw. I'll talk Macy in and she'll talk me in. I'll call you later."

Then, she grasped Macy's hand and started dragging her away.

Macy shot Nick an agonized look and touched his shoulder for a second before walking off.

That touch stirred something in Nick. His eyes became a little clearer and he pried himself from Kevin's embrace.

"I'm fine." He assured Kev, who only hesitatingly was letting his younger brother go. "I'm fine, really. Nothing happened to me. Joe, what did you find?"

I looked at him, realising he really was in control again, his emotions buried as usual.

"Joe." He urged. His eyes on me. The brown eyes having something in them that reminded me of the rage I had felt earlier in the house of doom.

"What we expected, kind of. Torture devices. Whips, knives, ropes, all that." I shuddered, again. "That was just one cupboard."

Nick nodded, as Kevin looked sick and swallowed hard.

Brushing the brown curls, messy from Kevin's hug, out of his face, Nick opened his mouth. But instead of his normal quiet, discribed as angelic and kind voice there was a much deeper and much more scarier voice, that in a honey-slick voice said: "Well, then you know what will be ahead of you..."

In a flash, suddenly, Nick was grabbed and in one fluid movement, thrown against the brick wall by a tall, light-brown haired man.

I heard my brother scream in pain and for the first few seconds, I could only watch, as the man slowly chocked Nick, whose feet were trying to kick him about 2 feet of the ground, before my brotherly instincts kicked in.

"Get your hands off my brother!" I yelled, bolting for him at exactly the same time Kevin did.

"Why should I?" He calmly spoke. Releasing Nick, who fell down, but catching me in my flight, thowing me to the ground as well, with a painful kick in the guts, that making me a  
more fortunate person then Kevin, who was slammed against the wall as well. Groaning in pain as his head came in contact with the brick.

A tanned fist inclined with his yaw and he slode down next to Nick on the ground.

The tall man grabbed Nick by the shirt and lifted him up again, but Nick wasn't three points shy of a genius for nothing and I weakly smiled as he high-kicked the man in his chest.  
However, the man didn't hiss in pain, as I expected him to. He just laughed, muttered: "So innocent." And then hit Nick in his side, left shoulder and the right side of his neck, freakishly accurate, so that Nick's body, right before my eyes went completely limp. His eyes closed in pain.  
He fell to the ground and I saw shocks of pain making his body tremble as the man above him laughed. I had seen one to many kung-fu movies not to know this, apparently real, trick.

I tried to stand up, with screaming pain in my lower abdomen and ran towards the guy. I ran into him with so much speed that he himself was now thrown agains the hard surface of the wall, before I threw my fist at his face.

I realised I missed, when my hand painfully came in contact with the wall and my feet got kicked from underneath me.

My body was caught, one hand around my neck, as the tall bastard held me up in the air.

"You're pretty, you know that?" He said mockingly. "Such a waste to ruin that face."

His hand reached into his pockets. An insane grin on his face.

Behind me, I heard Nick whimper, but unable to help him, kind of helpless myself, I had to ignore him and watch in fright, as the man pulled out a richly decorated knife.

Once again, he muttered: "Such a waste." Before setting the point on my cheek and dragging it towards my jaw.

I screamed, as a bolt of pain shot through my skin. Feeling the blood run over my neck.

The man sighed, in content as he watched me scream, pushing the knife deeper, so I struggled to get away from him. Frantically tugging at his hand around my neck.

"Stop that." Kevin's voice mumbled and his hand got dragged away, my body feeling itself fall down.

"Such stubborn pretty-faces you are." He said, now pointing his knife at Kevin's face. My hand shakily reaching for my own, feeling the sticky liquid on my fingers.

The man tilted his head, in concentration or mockery, I didn't know. I just knew Kevin stood equally concentrated, agony on his face as he saw the bodies of both me and Nick lying behind the man. I had to do something, but I was devided between two brothers.

"Nick." I whispered. Crawling towards my little brother. The rush of adrenaline making me forget my own pain, only worried about his.

"Joe.. I.. Can't.." he moaned, sweat covering his forehead as he closed his eyes. "It hurts."

"He did something with your nerve-system." I heard myself say, my hands reaching to roll him onto his back. He cried out in pain. "Stay here." I ordered, as if he was going to go somewhere and then turned around.

Kevin and our attacker were still staring at each other, as I softly walked up behind the knifeholder.

When I was so close, I was able to touch him, he suddenly turned around and grabbed the collar and the hem of my shirt, smiled, so nicely I almost believed it and then threw me towards Kevin, whom I hit in the chest and we tumbled backwards.

"You'd be pretty for my collection. But your brother has a certain bond I have to break, you see." The pale eyed man reassured us, almost afraid he was hurting our _feelings_ as I hissed in pain. Not feeling any kind of movement from Kevin behind me.

I looked up to the man. His face barely visible in the dark alley. But I could see he was kindly smiling again, insanity in his eyes.

He turned around, towards Nick and even though there was nothing I could do anymore, I streched my hand towards my brother.

The man picked him up, Nick's body now truly without movement, fainted in the pain his nerve-system had caused him, and almost caringly held him to his chest.

"I'll take care of your little brother, don't worry." The man said and walked, towards the light end of the alley. Taking Nick with him out of my reach.

Jay.. Matt.. Pale eyes..

Images started dancing before my eyes as I put two and two together.

Nick in shock.. shining knives.. the queen-sized bed.. the tall man..

This was Jay's prisonkeeper, this was the torturer, I realised just before I blacked out. This man was the one inflicting pain on Jay and maybe many other unfortunate souls.

And he had Nick...  
Then, nothing.

**Nick PoV. **

I woke up to a walking stride. My head resting against unfamiliar warmth I instinctivily shied away from.  
The thing holding me laughed. Giggled, almost.

"You're awake." He cooed.

I opened my eyes to a frightening image. Matt, Jay's... I didn't knew what to call him. But he was certainly not good news.

"Let go of me." I pathetically whispered.

He smiled down at me, before gently giving in to my wish and setting me on my feet. In front of a door.

"Go. In." He told me. Happily ordered me and I was completely freaked out by it. I swallowed, my feet feeling like jelly, my brain unable to register anything but the dark wooden door I though tho have seen before and I slowly opened the door, feeling his presence watching me behind him.  
I presume he got bored, or annoyed, because I was suddenly shoved in and the door was slammed closed behind me. I leaned against it, knowing it was locked and I closed my eyes for a second.

When I opened them, I realised I was in a small, black room. The only light coming from a window up in a high corner, leaving only one beam of light, moonlight, into the room.  
In the vague light, there was only one other thing I saw.  
A small, pale form. With flaming red-dyed hair. Still dressed in the white fabric, now stained with fresh blood. A silver shocker around her neck, similiar silver chains holding her hands abover her head, though her head laid on her chest.

For the first time, I saw Jay after Matt, without the interferance of her strange, yet beautiul musical gift I still hadn't figured out.

Her face was covered with a trail of blood from underneath her hair, her lips open as she panted in what I saw as a half-councious state. Accross her bare stomach were red stains, whip stains and her neck and shoulders were decorated in cuts as her arms were decorated in upcoming bruises. All sorts of small red pecks all over her feet and long legs, where he must've used something painfully spiky.  
Her hair fell over her face, but I was sure there were tears in her eyes. So much pain inflicted on what seemed now like such a small creature. That must be unbearable.

"Jay." my lips whispered as I stumbled towards her, partly because of my legs still feeling like jelly and the other because of what I saw.

She looked up, tear stains on her cheeks, her green eyes only vagually recognising me.

I cringed when I realised I was responsible for that and sank down next to her.

"What..?" She asked.

"I'm sorry.." I answered.

"I didn't.. I couldn't?" She whispered, gasping, in pain and in horror.

"I know. Shh."

I embraced her. It didn't matter anymore now anyway and supported her body. My head resting on her shoulder.

Both our tears fell on the ground and I stared towards the moon outside the small window, hoping Joe and Kevin were better off then we were.

**yay, I updated and Sorry, it's crappy.. I'm not good with fight scenes and this was overal not the best thing that I've ever written, but it just wouldn't work today...  
Hope you enjoyed. Cya next update... this time hopefully a little faster  
Love you all  
~silver**


	11. trembling

I woke up to a small beam of sunlight that trailed over my face.  
There was no suck thing as confusion over where I was or how I came in the dark, though strangely warm and clean room. The memories were perfectly clear as I took in my surroundings, scanning it for danger before my primary instinct took over: Jay.  
I was currently completely supporting her chained body. Her face more open then I had ever seen it. And I saw the pain that she could normally so perfectly hide.  
Her jaw was clenched, her teeth bared and ragged pants hit my throat, her head resting on my shoulder.  
apparently she hadn't woken up yet, the cuts, marks and bruises still visibly there.  
I pulled her closer, my arms encircling her body as I softly kissed the top of her head, now that she was asleep anyway. After which I rested my head on hers.

Knowing that she was somewhat okay, I continued to scan the room, though there wasn't really much to scan. The dark wooden door, the small window, black walls and a bed in the opposite corner. Nothing that could help me take care of Jay, the bed not even an option, since she was chained to the freaking wall.  
You'd think that a seemingly modern would at least have something like…

A sink! In the other corner! I hadn't seen it before because my eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness yet, due to the beam of sunlight.

Softly, but easily, lifting her unconscious body, I slipped from underneath her. Immediately feeling my abused muscles react to the movement. What had that bastard done to me?  
Steadying myself by grabbing the polished black sink, I ran one hand through my hair, messing it up even more before I looked up into the square mirror.  
I was looking like a ghost, pale-white in the darkness. My hair all over the place and a worried haze in my eyes.  
I didn't care, I looked amazing in comparison to most of the faces I had seen in this place, assuming this was the building I had previously ran from.  
I averted my eyes, down to my white shirt, tugging at the fabric until a piece of cloth ripped off.  
I held it under the cold water, splashing some of it in my face, before I stumbled back to the other side of the room. Sitting down against the wall again next to the red-haired girl.

"Jay." I called. Softly dapping her face with the wet piece of shirt. "C'mon, wake up."

I wasn't sure if it was the coolness of the water on her feverish skin or the sound of my voice, but soon enough, her eyes fluttered open, revealing the pretty emerald colour.  
The chains clanked as she moved her arms in discomfort.

"Hey." I whispered, smiling relieved. Her eyes staring at me in disbelieve.

"I was really hoping you being here was a dream." She muttered, trying to sit up straight.

"I constantly hope the same, you know?"

That made her softly smile, before asking: "How did he get you?" Not doubting who did this for a second.

"He attacked me and my brothers, did something weird to my body and knocked me down." I shortly answered, distracted by the thought of my brothers, lying in that alley. I prayed for them to be okay.

"Hey." Jay now whispered soothingly, as something soft nudged my cheek.

I realized it was her nose, since the wasn't able to reach me with anything else.

"Cheer up, curly head, they're your brothers. They're strong. Your family, friends, they'll be searching for you and find them. As long as Matt didn't got his paws on them, they'll be just fine."

The words were a little strained, but it was clear what she was saying: My brothers would be fine. We, on the other hand, were screwed.  
Once again something soft touched my cheek, when Jay placed a soft kiss on my jaw.  
I turned around surprised, to find a guilty look in her eyes.

"You know, through it all and wrong as it may be, I'm still kind of glad you're here."

I smiled in response, continuing to dab her face, neck and shoulders with the wet cloth.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, the fabric quickly turning to red.  
The reply was, as could be expected, blunt.

"Beat." She said. " Bleeding. In pain."

"I'm sorry."  
"Not your fault."

Our eyes met. Broken green an apologetic brown.

"Look underneath the pillow." She suddenly said. Pulling away from my hand on her cheek. "Please, I am not really liking the 'chained up' thing."

I frowned and reached for the pillow, quickly pulling my hand back as it touched something sharp.  
My eyes widened as I reached back an pulled out a shiny, sharp looking knife.

"Give it to me." She ordered. Wiggling her hands in the cuffs.

A sigh escaped her lips when I just sat and stared at her. My eyes widening even further as she, in a sudden movement, bucked her hips and back upwards, turned around and moved her feet in an upright position so that she was, wobbly, standing.  
The girl was _really_ flexible.

"Nick, give me the knife."

Dazed, I handed the requested object to her and she immediately put it into the locks on her restrains and twisted.  
After three tries, there was a satisfying click and the chains fell from her wrists. The skin there not blossom-pale, like it should be, but a burning red.

"That's better." Jay said, towering above me now, massaging her wrists.

"You've got to learn me how to do that." I whispered, making a cocky smirk appear on her face.

I was amazed by how okay she was with the whole situation

"Maybe." She finally answered, before putting the knife back where I found it and carefully sitting down on the bed, closing her eyes.  
I stood up too, body still trembling as I walked over and fell down too.

"You might want to be careful." Jay told me, opening one eye. "You're still nerve-knocked."  
I questionably raised my eyebrow. Cocking my head sideways to look at her.

"He pushed your buttons, so to say. Some muscles and points that knocked out your nerve-system." She explained, tugging on one of the white carves she was wearing. Now revealing she did wear shorts and a top, equally red-white. Shadows o her rips visible, but not because she was skinny. She naturally slim.  
As my brain made the connection, I asked surprised: "He doesn't starve you?"

Which was a strange question, but it was an awfully plausible thing to do for the monster that held her.

"Like I said, he likes my fight…" Jay shrugged, before her head snapped up and another voice finished her sentence:  
"Wouldn't want her to lose the power to do so, would we? That would be unfair, don't you think?"

Instinctively, I moved my body so it was in front of Jays', a dangerous growl forming in my chest.  
Jay, however, was the one that hissed: "Matt." Her voice like venom. "Don't you dare hurt him."  
Indeed, the tall form of Matt towered in the doorframe, blue eyes piercingly fixed on me.

"Getting comfy, I see?" He said, striding towards us, to look down at the two of us, making me feel annoyingly small on the bed. "I bet you like the company I brought you, Jay, don't you?"

"No."

He raised an eyebrow. "So you don't like him, then?"

"I care more for him more then I have ever cared for someone, so no, I don't like him being here." Jay answered, coolly, though with a certain desperation, as I stared at her. Lovingly, I hoped, though fear rippled through my body.  
She told the truth, to help me mentally, to let me know that she cared about me just as much I cared for her.  
We both knew that confession would have nasty consequences for one of us, or maybe both of us. That power lay with the man towering over us. His leather jacket, as it was the first time, open to reveal the naked upper half of his body. Low riding pants on his hips. As far as I could tell, he was wearing shoes. Unlike us.

Matt smirked, eying me with renewed interest, he had made his choice, but I'd take it. This confession meant more to me then whatever he would do to me. Jay had taken it, I could certainly too. He wouldn't break me, I would be strong, both for myself as for Jay and my brothers.

Suddenly, he dragged me up by my shirt, roughly pulling me from the bed. My feet dangling above the ground, me pulling at his chocking hands around my throat.

"Stay. There. Please!" Were the last words I could mutter with the breath that was left. I knew Jay was about to do something. I knew she wouldn't want to take my pain along with hers. But I didn't wanted her to go through more then she had already been through today, with special thanks to me.

When I was about to black out, Matt released his hold on me and I painfully dropped to the ground, receiving a neatly pointed kick in my abdomen.

"Maybe we should change something about that pretty face then, don't you think? Maybe she won't like you that much when I'm done with it." Mat smiled, kindly, pulling me up once again and this time dragging me out of the room. He kicked the door shut and I gasped for breath as he shoved me against the wall, before pulling me further away without any struggle from my side.  
You needed breath for struggle and I had the vague idea I would be needing it.

"Let's see if we can break you, in order with breaking her." Matt whispered, his voice dangerous, but filled with pleasure. He was going to enjoy this, hurting me and thus at the same time hurting Jay along with me.  
Two for the price of one. I was the one to pay.

**Kevin PoV**

I couldn't move, I couldn't blink, I couldn't do anything, even though I was fully aware of was going on. Something extremely important, something essential, was missing.  
I was drowning in something dark, not water, not anything I knew, I just knew it was black and very, very painful.  
My head was pounding, as well as my whole body was aching… But that wasn't the worst, something wasn't here when it should be.  
I did feel something, something warm and familiar, a hand, an arm. I think. I thought.

I had to remember, something was wrong. Something was missing, but what? Where was I, why couldn't I move and why, why was there such an aching pain in my chest, of knowing I had failed at protecting something. Something I had sworn to protect.

A rush of what felt like blood spread through my body in a sudden wave of warmth and I remembered: Nick, he took Nick! I had to get out of here, I needed to find Nick!

Groaning, I opened my eyes, only to find the slightest beams of sunlight that fell into the alley and even though they were weak, exactly as I felt, they still hurt my eyes.

"Joe!" I hissed, the pounding in my head getting worse, but I needed to know the other of those I protected was still here. If he wasn't, I wasn't sure what I was going to do.

"K-Kevin?" Came my reply. The hand, that I now felt was lying on my back, stirring in response to my voice.

"Joe, thank god you are okay!"

I forgot about the pounding and instead pulled Joe into a hug. He was dazedly returning it, his body limp.

"Nick…" He muttered, probably remembering himself. "Where is he?"

I couldn't bare answer, partly because I didn't wanted to say it out loud, confirming the fact that we lost him, partly because of the panicked, begging for mercy look in Joe's eyes. He was ghostly pale and there were several bruises on his face and exposed neck and shoulders. He looked a mess, but the mess behind his eyes was much worse. It reflected mine.

He muttered under his breath, unbelieving as I pulled him into the hug tighter, knowing that beneath his outgoing and self-assured surface, there was still that shy boy with the glasses and his brothers for best friends, spilling hot-coco all over his tee. "No, no! He doesn't, he didn't… He can't, have you seen what he did to Jay? He can't do that to him!"

"I know, shh, calm down, panicking is not going to help him!"

"Then what is!?"

We both fell silent and I saw that Joe was on the verge of tears, me myself already having trails of salt-water running over both my cheeks. Everything in my body trying to get myself to recover, from both the shock and the injuries. Adrenaline was making it's way into my blood-stream, but I couldn't act. It was like it had frozen me. My mouth gaping for air.

"They're here! I found them, o god. Macy!"

"Macy, what? Oh my, they're. Joe! Kevin! Are you…"

"They're not reacting. They're…"

"I noticed. Joe, c'mon, it's me. Joe?"

"I meant they're just like how we found Nick that one night."

I felt someone shake me, arms surrounding my shoulders. "Kevin, Kevin?" I knew the voice, but recognised Macy by her soft smell of fresh leaves, the flavour of Stella's flowery scent a few feet next to her. I felt Joe shaking slightly too, as Stella nudged him again. Her blonde curls waving in the wind that sped through the alley. This godforgotten alley.

"Macy. He took him." I blurted out, needing her to know as I finally averted my eyes from Joe. Felling utterly guilty as I did so.

"What? What do you mean?" Macy urged, looking into my eyes now, her brown orbs concerned and… _frightened_. She seemed to shrink, become even smaller then she already was.  
I just shook my head and urged again. "He took him."

"Who took who, Kev? Tell me." Her hair was all over her face and I realised they must've been looking for us. Why weren't they looking for Nick?

"Kev, who was taken?" Macy asked, this time softly touching my face, wiping away the tear that rolled over it.

"Macy?" Stella suddenly gasped. I knew she had realised by the horror in her voice.

"What? What is it?"

"Nick. He's not with them."

The petite brunette opened her mouth, but there were no words behind her parted lips. The dark ally throwing shadows on her face, more then there already were. Shadows of worry, shadows of pain as she realised _who_ had taken our beloved song-writer.

"Bruises." She whispered, "Hurt. _Kevin!_" She turned to me, grasping my hands. From the corners of my eyes I saw Stella do the same, with Joe's tanned hands.

I nodded, knowing she would understand.

Then we hugged, all four of us, missing the fifth. And maybe the sixth, in that hug.

"We have to save him!" Joe suddenly said, startling all of us. "We have to get him out of that man's hands, along with Jay. We're going to stop him, before he can hurt Nick." The beams of sunlight fell upon his skin. Making it glow, like his face did. I beamed along with them, yes, naturally we were going to free our younger brother. Right his instant.

"How?" My best friend interfered.

My brain immediately, in a shockwave of brotherly feelings, started working, putting things together, puzzling pieces into their place, in the way Nick usually did, trying to figure out how to get us out of things.  
But now, we had to do what he always did for us to save him, now, like he had gotten us smoothly out of things so many times before.

"I know how." I told them. Their faces lighting up. Expectantly and hopeful. Joe beaming, feeling my confidence and the shared feelings for our missing brother.  
What power blood could have. "I know how."  
The urge to protect, to recover, to take back what was ours, it was stronger then the sense of danger and fear.

Three mouths immediately replied: "We're with you."

**Stella PoV**

So here we were, after the blunt and meant 'we're with you' we all promised Kevin. Agreeing on not telling anyone, we knew Matt. The demon, that monster that had hurt small, yet so though Jay and had now gotten his filthy paws on Nick.  
I was sure Nick would survive, at least for now, he was strong, he was brave. I had known him for most of my life and even though he was usually silent and sensitive, he was strong of mind. As all of the three brothers were.

I could feel Joe's and Kevin's pain. I felt their hurt, the missing thing that was supposed to close the triangle. And I knew they wouldn't stop at a thing to retrieve that missing point.  
And so be it. I wasn't going to hesitate, nothing would stop me from helping them and get me back my brother. Because he was my brother too. Always understanding, smart and supportive. Wise and responsible, even though the youngest. I loved Nick more then I could say. We all did, we weren't complete without him.

So here we were, after following Kevin and Macy to a hideous building. We were watching it, Joe and Kevin in front, winged by me and Macy. We knew the plan, or parts of it and knew the risk. Nothing was going to stop us.

There was nothing cool about how we emerged from the shadows. We knew it was on and that what we were doing was incredibly ridiculously risky. But it was the only plan we had.  
We were saving Nick, or going down with him and Jay.

**Nick PoV**

I stared into ice, I felt like I had been turned into ice myself. I was freezing, deathly cold. I could see my lips turning blue in the icy eyes. My arms tied above me, my eyes half closed. My already dark hair looking a deep shade of black against my pale skin. A trail of another dark running from underneath it.

"You're such a brave boy." The hated voice complimented me. "And so pretty when being strong. You're very pretty indeed."

Matt tugged up my head, his fingers folding around my chin. I wanted to bite, to slap, to tug my chin out of his hands, but I simply didn't have the power to do so. The only things keeping me upright were his hands and the rope.

"Well then, this must hurt her quite enough, don't you think. You're eyes look so beautiful when they're broken."

All things that supported me left me at exactly the same moment as he untied the rope and released my head. My skin burning at both places.

I shivered, I felt like an ice-cube inside of a 5 star restaurant freezer, but preferred this icy-coldness over the sharp heat I had felt just moments before. The hot steel that had left it's marks on my arms, legs and torso.  
Breathing was hard, each gulp of oxygen hurting my tormented skin. It was scratched open at the places his extremely sharp nails had trailed over the skin.

My breath was now laboured, though the cold helped against the sting of the burn. My muscles yelling in protest as he dragged me along again.

"Go show off your new accessories." He whispered against my throat, inhaling deeply. "You even smell good when you're broken."

A shudder of disgust ran through me and upside around my spine as he proceeded to lick the trail of blood off my neck. He purred, moaned in delight, before opening the mahogany door and throwing me into a pair of soft arms. Not strong enough to support me, but strong enough to hold me. My head now buried into her shoulder.

"Monster." Was the only thing she said, before I heard the menacing laugh for the last time, the door slamming closed.

Her fingers ran through my hair, knowing I wasn't hurt there. She didn't say a thing. Only hugged me.

I didn't cry, I didn't wanted to give him the satisfaction of my tears and her arms were enough to keep me from that.

Then, she started singing, her voice like an enchantment. In a language I thought to recognise, but couldn't place.

The pain lessened, my shivering stopping, only to feel her body tremble. I could breathe again, but I felt hers speed up. What was happening.

Her lips released her song and I felt the sting of the marks one more time before those, also, seemed to fade.

I looked up, horror probably evident in my eyes.

Her body was now carrying my earlier wounds. Her face in agony, before they faded and she returned to normal, just a vague hint of red on her pale skin.

I opened my mouth to ask, but she stopped me.

"Not now."

I agreed and once again, we searched comfort in each other, once again praying. That my brothers were safe and that somehow, this would turn out good for us.  
But at the moment, the vivid pain gone, but my body still throbbing from what I had been through the last couple of hours, that didn't seem very likely.


	12. planning

**Macy PoV**

"Are you sure?" Stella asked, her hands moving quickly over my skin, ripping my clothes here and there and smudging my mascara.

"yes, of course I am sure." I said, letting everything I felt flow into those words. "I'm willing to do everything to get them back." I fiercely stared into her blue eyes and she smiled.

"I'm so proud to have you as my best friend." She said, hugging my close. "You're so brave…" The last part was whispered.

"So are you Stella." I countered, surprised by the hurt in her voice.

"No I'm not." She smiled. "I'm just the stylist and friend of JONAS. The fabric lover and crush-of-Joe. Nothing more."

"Stella! That is not true! You're the one that is always there for us when anyone has a problem and we will always be there for you because we love you. You're rational and just as creative as Nick is with his songs. You do more then just design. Or do I have to get your sketch-book and show it to you?" I whisper-yelled at my best friend now, tears in my eyes from how low she thought of herself. "We're going to do this, but we can't do it without you!"

"I know, I know… It's just. I'm scared, Macy." She whispered, fright in her normally so sparkly blue eyes.

"I know, I am too, but we have to do this. For Nick and the one that got him into this mess in the first place." I replied, hugging her close.

Stella softly laughed. "She can't help it, it's the idiot that holds her captive's fault, no one else's. We're going to get him." Her voice grew fiercer, certainty now crossing her expression. Her Horace Mantis Jumper almost as blue as the fake bruises on my skin. We looked at each other, the blonde and the brunette, as always.

"Hell yeah we're going to."

Joe broke the hopeful silence, walking up behind Stella. "Are you ready." He asked, so comfortable with the whole situation, pulling Stella up and pulling her into a fierce hug. He smiled at me over her shoulder, before burying his face in her hair for a second.  
Kevin's form appeared besides him and reached his hand for me.

"Let's get our brother back." He simply said, hugging me too.

We all nodded, and as if reacting to a silent sign, we let each other go. Kevin and Joe retreating into the shadows of the buildings. Their eyes constantly on us.  
Brown looked into blue for the last time, nodding.

Then I started screaming, bloody murder and agony. Pulling everything I had felt in the last days into that scream. The pain I felt for loosing Nick, the denial. The fright for having lost Joe and Kevin too, when we found them in the alley. I put it all into that one scream. The tightening of my stomach whenever I thought of what that man could do, what he had already done multiple times. The blood spilt, the dreams that had been shattered. I put it all in. Maybe to get a silent revenge, maybe to just get it out.

Stella's voice mixed with mine as she, for added effect, but with an apologetic smile scratched her nails over my exposed arms, pulling blood from the skin. Her other hand trailing along my face, carefully scratching to not leave any permanent damage. My hands returning the favour. Also smearing out some blood, it had to look real for this to work.

Then, the door opened and on cue, we let ourselves fall to the ground.

"Please, help us, he's after us!" I screamed to whatever monster had opened the door. Holding tight onto Stella. Real tears running over my face, not from fright, but from the intense hate I felt for those that inhabited this building and tormented others. The taste was bitter on my tongue, as I had never tasted it before. I wanted to scratch their skin until it bled. Until it was red and sore and they'd feel some of our pain.

"No, no. We can't trust anyone." Stella whined, untangling herself from my arms and stumbling backwards, actual fright on her face. "He will find us, wherever we go!"

Then, she scrambled up. Shivering and trembling on her feet, before turning and running. _It had to be real_.

"No, don't leave me, Ezzie! We can solve this, they can help us. God, no!" I pleaded, begged, my hand stretched after Stella, Estella… Ezzie.

"Shh… Shh. What happened? Calm down." A soothing voice said to me, but it sounded to me like snake's tongue.

"Her boyfriend. He.. He just snapped. I don't know what happened. Please, help her. Help us." I cried out. Pulling myself closer to the man that held me. He smelled like soft honey. I noticed his hair was brown. Could it be?

"Shh. I'll take care of you." He soothedly whispered, his hands trailing my back and then scooping me off the ground. Tears of hatred blurring my vision. But I kept up the act, who knew I was a good actress, when it came down to it?

"Ezzie… I have to.. She's." I muttered, faking exhaustion. Softly pushing myself away from him, struggling in his hold I knew I couldn't break even if I used all my sport-gained strength. But that was exactly what we had aimed for.

He carried me, bridal style to the black side-door. Opening it with his foot. I peeked through my lashes and could vaguely see two figures standing in the shadows. One holding back the other, like he was going to lunge if he didn't stop him. Then, I 'fainted' and went completely limp in his arms… fase one had officially begun.

**Jay PoV**

His pain was my pain. I felt the marks on my skin. I stared into his warm brown eyes, surrounded by black, sweaty curls. His brow still sticky with pain inflicted sweat. His shirt ripped, by himself, but mostly because of the torture and the knife.  
He was on his knees in front of me. Staring at me in disbelieve as I moaned, the burning stung. I felt it burn through my skin, but I kept singing, kept staring into his eyes, that slowly came back to life as I drank his agony. He wasn't broken, he was still there, he was still full of love. That was all I needed, that was worth this.

"Jay." He whispered. His voice almost as agonized as the pain he and I now both had gone through.

"Not now." I whispered back, my fingers trailing his cheek and he winced, putting his slightly toned over my pale one.

Then, the pain fainted, dulled out till nothing was left, though I knew I would forever carry the marks. His marks.

Somehow, he managed to softly lift me to the bed, through his own exhaustion and fall down next to me, wrapping his arms around me. My arms finding his.

He was hurt. He searched comfort, while giving it at the same time. His face against my shoulder, inhaling with a shudder. Exhale, inhale, exhale.

I didn't know how long we lay there, wide awake and just holding each other. Not with love, not with lust, not with anything but comfort. We needed it and instinctively took it from each other. A primal instinct that made us dependant on each other, each others warmth.  
Another human's warmth, it had been so long since I had truly felt it.

With a shudder, I came to my senses again. Untangling myself from his arms. Even though it was Nick, he was still human, with human skin and a human smell. I couldn't bear it. Even through the love I felt for those warm brown eyes. I heavily breathed. While he to regain composure after his traumatic experience.

"How'd you do it?" he suddenly questioned, his face snapping towards me with the gentlest of expressions. "How did you make it go away? How did you take it?"

He understood, on a level. He didn't deny it happening, he knew what he saw and didn't question his senses and eyes. That would come later, right now he was sane enough to be reasonable. Even locked up in this cell of darkness. My doomed cell, where I had spend countess hours, days, even weeks, when he felt like it. Friendly explaining to the school how I had a very bad case of asthma, while I suffered from the Sensophia Admentium. The toxic fluids that then coursed through my veins and caused exaggerating pain. Just for the heck of it, just for his fun.

I pulled my knees towards myself, looking towards our only source of light in this hell.

"I don't know." I told him, truthfully. "I have no idea how I do it. I just do, I sing, I feel the pain and take it. I let it flow away through the music. I don't know how, or why. But I am thankful it happens."

he looked at be with an unbelieving expression, though he did believe what I told him. What reasons did I have not to be truthful? He didn't understand how it happened and to someone like him, that was saying something.

"Thanks." He said, in conclusion. Not trying to come closer, but just leaning up on his elbows. I took every least bit of discomfort. Physically, he was perfectly fine. But his spirit was still hurt, not understanding the lack of pain.  
"you did the same, you know." I informed him, still facing the small window. The small spot of hope, looking at him from the corners of my eyes, through a layer of slightly greasy hair, still getting used to the flaming red.  
His expression surprised me, hadn't he known? Didn't he know? How strange.

"You took the pain away." I stated, because that was exactly what he did, giving me the greatest gift I could receive. "That's something the music has never accomplished. It stops the agony, but the pain always stays. The shadow of the torture is always there, you took that away. You're better then music."

His eyes stared into mine, an intensity and a layer of an emotion I didn't knew colouring the orbs. An unbelieving and soft expression on his face. Softly rising his hand, mine in sync with his and our fingertips brushed, bringing a smile to his features. Looking away, sadness screaming from him.

"Better then music, hard to accomplish." He almost chuckled. The sound was mocking, like he refused to believe how much he had actually done for me. He believed he had still done nothing.

"Music is everything to me. Music was the only thing I had for years, just my voice, the occasional piano at school, for as long as I stayed, a guitar when Matt was away, knowing I wouldn't, couldn't run away. More then once it has saved my life, mentally, though it stops the physical fire too."

He looked up, agreeing with his eyes. "Music is a beautiful thing." He whispered. "You can just let everything go. Scream what you feel, without anyone hearing. Making people feel the same without knowing."

"Exactly."

There was a silence, both of our thoughts mixing in the air. We just sat and lay there, next to each other. Waiting for the next apocalypse, or so it felt, to come.

"If it weren't for the melodies, I wouldn't have survived." I continued. "If it weren't for having that. I would've given up ages ago. He doesn't know, but that has always been the only thing to keep me sane."

Nick nodded, he understood. I was sure the music had helped him too, though in less dangerous situations. His whole torso was lifted now, towards me. He seemed like he was keeping himself from comforting again. He seemed to question what he should do, not trusting himself.

"then you came." I turned my head towards him and slightly smiled. "You came, just like that. Somehow appeared and tried to make everything right, no matter how hard I shoved you back. You came and erased _all_ of the pain, for those little moments of time. You were better then music."

He didn't reply, but instead just stared at the opposite black wall, thoughtful, before gazing at me again and opening his mouth, not knowing what to say.

"It's gladly done." He finally said.

"No it's not. Because of what you did, you're fucking locked up in this place." I scoffed. Standing up and jumping off the bed. Feeling the slight ache and remains of Nick's torture, but not caring either way, worse had coursed through my veins, literally.

I paced the room. His thoughtful expression seemingly having shift to my face.

"There it is again." He muttered.

"There's what again?"

"Your attitude. I missed it."

He was downright smirking when I looked his way, apologetic, but smirking. I had to get him and that happy smirk out of here. This instant or the world might never see it again.

"Great, you noticed." I replied. Walking over. "God, I really need a change of clothes."  
I looked at the bloody mess of fabric that covered my skin. Not that much, but at least it covered something.  
Nick didn't look that great either. His clothes were ripped and burned and also stained with blood, though I wasn't sure whom it belonged too.

I sank down next to him on the bed and he sat up behind me. Both silent again until the exhaustion from the pain-drain finally kicked in and I fell asleep. Asleep against something warm and barely cloth-covered.

Great.

**Stella PoV**

Carefully, I opened the door. My hands holding the wood tightly, ready to slam it closed, preferably in someone's face, as soon as was needed. I felt the boys' gazes on my back when I softly called: "Maria?" Macy's code name, as mine was Ezzie.  
A soft voice replied. "There's no Maria, how can I serve you?" with a dull and dead voice. A girl stepped out of the shadows inside, closing her eyes to the light. But before her eyes fluttered closed, I saw the broken blue colour. So close to my own colour that I shuddered. Her thin, skinny hands were holding onto the frame.

"I'm looking for my friend, she's wounded. Brown hair, brown eyes. Her clothes are ripped." I said, pretending to be oblivious to the girl's own ripped clothes.

"Please, I need to find her." I pleaded. "Let me in." The last part was said with a more stern voice.

And like we had expected, and very sadly. She gave in, opening the door for me immediately.  
"Come in, please. Let us take care of you." She whispered, her voice to weakened to speak out loud. She had no idea I was different from the others that usually came here.

She was small, skinny, though the ghost of a well filled body shimmered through her appearance. Her hair was a mix between blonde and black, lifelessly hanging around her face, though once, it might have jumped around it. Her clothes were like those of a whore and it was probably what she was. Without caring, without emotion. Overly short black plaid shirt, bra and leather vest around the small shoulders. Paled out leggings running into stiletto-like heels. Bruises around her ankles from constantly tripping over them, or from chains, I wasn't sure.  
What a horrid place was the building, breaking these young women and… I couldn't think, this was unlike everything I had ever experienced and I felt the urge to hug the woman _slash_ girl in front of me, but I knew that was useless. There wasn't anything left to hug, the spirit that had inhabited this body had retrieved deep within, from all that had been done to her. By men, by her owners. I shuddered as she motioned me to come in.

The outside of the building wasn't much different from what I saw on the inside. It was dark and it smelled like sigar-smoke. A lot of actual smoke in the red coloured air, the red coming from fluorescent red coloured neon tubes. It could've had had an undeserving atmosphere of innocence to it, had it not been for the shelves and boards full of whips and sex toys. Buckles and god, knives?

I felt vomit come up my throat, not knowing if it was from that, or the look of the young man in leather pants, sitting at the feet of it. Whip marks on his exposed chest and arms, as the girl lead me further.

"Stop." I ordered. And her body halted immediately. "go do whatever you were busy with, okay? I wasn't here."

I hated talking to the unfortunate soul (ha- ha..) like that, so I couldn't help but ask her approval, receiving a stare of confusion, this girl wasn't used to people asking her approval for something. People took with her. They took and never returned anything.

So I just brushed past her, trying to look as indifferent as possible. Feeling the tears burn behind my eyes. I walked deeper into the darkness that beheld this doomed place. Deeper into what could be the last place I ever entered. I should've told Joe I loved him. Very, very badly.

**Joe PoV**

The devilish people who ran this place didn't even suspect anyone trying to get in, so it was easier then getting a pencil from thousands of fangirls. They had no clue as to why anyone would want to get in. They didn't suspect. They never left a trail. So it wasn't necessary, right?  
They thought wrong.

I smiled at Stella when she let us in. Our shadow's disappearing from the outer-view. Disappearing from our last way out, but I couldn't care. I wanted my brother back, nothing was going to stop me. So I stepped into the darkness, all of us in. No way out, unless it was with all of us.

**? PoV**

I saw them step into the house that resembled so much of the hated haunted house in Disney-Land. Only worse.  
I saw their dark hair and shadows disappear inside and knew this wasn't good. Not pretty at all. As I knew spying on them was wrong too.

When they all disappeared, I ran back to where all of us came from, towards the fire house. Towards the only one sneaky enough to help me.

**Nick PoV**

My arms embraced her once again, I knew the cheesyness of our position, every time again. But I couldn't pry myself from it. I couldn't let go. Couldn't avert my eyes from her face, even troubled in sleep. Stroking her flaming hair from her pale face. Exposing the scar over her left eyebrow. I trailed it with my fingertips. It too, felt soft.

My fingers trailed lower, over her throat. The remains of a harsh hickey still there. Not completely healed by her spell, apparently there were flaws in that talent. It stopped the pain, cleared away the evidence, most of the time. Sometimes it didn't, sometimes it did. But the pain always stayed, throbbed beneath the skin. As she had rather harshly told me.

I trailed over her arms, there also were scars, though I knew there was way more skin cut open there. But a lot of it was just flawless. Normal skin, what was up with that?  
I trailed the scars. Feeling her softly move against me, breathing out. Not relaxing one bit, ever. Constantly on edge.

The door opened, but I didn't move. Didn't acknowledge the man that held us captive here. The man that had ripped me away from my family. The man that had tortured so many souls. Broken them all except for the two strong souls in this very cell.

"You know I'll kill her if you don't co-operate, right?" He said, softly. Almost sounding like he regretted his words, but when I finally looked up and met his icy eyes, I just saw the insanity and pleasure for our obvious discomfort. The idea of having us completely at his mercy.

"Yes, I am aware." I answered.

He smiled, his lips were crooked as he walked over and planted a kiss on my mouth. To say I was disgusted was an understatement. It was repulsing, but I kept my body still. For her sake. All for her sake and for mine. I had to get out of here, I needed to get out. So co-operating was my only option. Leave him clueless. That was my only hope. Our only hope.  
I looked back down to the fierce form in my lap. Her lioness bravery evident behind her closed, I knew to be green, eyes. She sensed him.

"Good boy." Matt whispered. Menacing, his voice full of promises. Promises of pain.


	13. decieving

**once more I say, sorry for the late update. It's the last weeks of school for me and with the finals, me changing school and really wanting to get good grades so I'll get to to things I like next year, i'm sorta on hiatus for the coming weeks. But I promise more frequent updates when I am finally set free :) I love you guys all so much!**

Disclaimer: -checks- no, still not mine. Though Nick is pleased that I got my hands on him once again and not chibiyugixyami (to whom I have eternal gratefulness for her immer support) 

The image of them, my beautiful broken vixen and the protective pretty boy, locked up and fearing me played once again behind the lids of my eyes and I couldn't help but brightly smirk, so the worthless brat before me winced and shied away. My perfect beached teeth shimmering.  
I hit him, harshly for only such a small act of disobedience. Not hard enough to draw blood from the tight, pale skin, but certainly enough to sting.  
The boy fell to the ground, hitting his head on the wooden floor. A strangled cry left his lips, before he blacked out.  
I looked down on his skinny body, he was pretty –not as pretty as my newest toy– but I was tempted by him. Sprawled out in front of me. Fascinated, I wiped a drip of blood from his cheek; I should remember to remove my rings. I had unnecessarily damaged the skin of little Jay more then once that way.  
I brought the red-smeared finger to my mouth and moaned at the taste, he was rarely delicious, for a slave, but I resisted; one of my trophies would do better.  
I kicked the broken boy, making him whimper in unconsciousness and graciously walked away.  
I was on my way to the cell, choosing to break their anxious waiting.

Then suddenly, I felt a buzzing in my pocket, my whole body freezing on the spot.  
_My master._  
I grinned even brighter. My master almost never called anyone, except for me, naturally. I, the one that brought him the best prizes. The children, the young boys and girls, the women, the men. I brought him the best that were out there, because I was simply the best there was. I slipped the deep green phone from the loose pocket of my jeans. I hated using them idiotic phones; I hated talking to people without seeing their face, not being able to play with their emotions. But it was different for him. He couldn't be played; he was the one that taught me how to play with human souls. He couldn't be lured, he only deceived.  
I flicked the damned piece of plastic open and answered, silently.

"Matt." He said. A smile in his voice.

"Yes." I answered, lowering my voice as I often did.

"It has reached my ears that you have now two slaves to play with." Naturally he would know. He was the only one I let keep track of me.

"Yes."

"The girl, still. And a young boy."

"Yes, he has a strong soul, it amuses me highly." I smirked at the pained look of panic the brown eyes had contained last time I had honoured him with my presence.

"Two. I want one."

We ended the call at the same time, as usual. No need for more words then necessary, we could both use our voices for worthier things. He had set his demands. I complied, that was how my talent worked. That was how the magnificence within me worked.

I sped through the streets, quick like a dark shadow. Not paying attention to the blurs of faces that passed me. I was looking forward to the utter pain that would cross the redhead's face. She knew about my master, she had always been sane enough to pay attention. She knew.

I reached the building that had somewhat became a home to me. Or rather, a headquarters, I never knew home. Not since my youth, thank god. Home was so average, so plain. So opposite to what I was.

When I opened the door to their cell and stood in their doorway, I didn't look, but felt their gazes reach me. Their hate creeping up and making me feel pleasantly happy. Hate was my love, pain was my comfort. I graced them with my gaze; saw my Jay once again in the boy's arms. I almost laughed out loud. Not at the precious image, but at the promises it brought. The promise of pain.  
Lonely and lost, that was how they looked in each others' arms. I could only imagine the wonderful picture of one of them, either one, alone. Without any comfort, knowing that they lost the other. I marvelled, a laugh of joy coming to my face. They had no idea what beautiful pain I was about to give them. How they not loved it, hated it like I loved it, was a mystery to me. But either way, it would bring me entertainment once more.

"What is it you want?" The boy said. Pulling her pale body closer to his exposed chest. The glare from underneath his greasy curls added to the pretty hate in his voice.  
I noticed he had become skinnier while locked up in here. How pretty. "What is the plan now." The little vixen spoke. Her voice stronger then I'd ever hear it. I had to do something. I had hoped he would only resurface the pain of being loved, but he seemed to honestly make her happy. How undesirable. She was born invisible, doomed with her first cry, she had always been mine. She would die mine or be ripped from anything that could possibly threaten my possession.

"The master has requested a visit." I simply said, feeling pleasant goose bumps arise on my arms at the fear that rippled over the cub's face. The other young one not understanding. Oh her heavy fate had once again struck. It was almost sad no one else would ever see her beauty like this. Her green eyes dark with knowledge.

"No." She whispered, turning towards him without a second thought and I narrowed my eyes. She didn't even feel pain for herself…  
Then another smile broke through. Perfect. Their separation would only scar more. Beautiful scars that I could pry open to watch her, or him, bleed.

"Who of you will be honoured?" I wondered out loud. I leaned against the doorframe, my tall body blocking the light. I could only imagine how good I must look.

"None of us." Her voice was fierce again. Jumping from his arms and standing in the middle of the room, legs spread. "You will not hurt him and so, apparently, you will not hurt me either."

Flames played around her head, her hair almost standing up like a cat's would.  
"Pick, or I will." And I would thoroughly enjoy prying them apart.

I closed the door, happily locking it. Torture them together for just that tad bit longer. Outing their last words of goodbye. Almost a movie, a movie with a bad ending. Why didn't idiotic humans make more movies like that? Maybe I would gravely enjoy the silvery disks then.

I walked to the main area, watching the slaves, most of which were mine to give, as they performed. Making money for my master. I still remembered how he had tried to recruit me, soon to find out I was so much better. So much more important. That I could make him so much more money. He found my talent and had let it blossom. He had taught me everything I knew. He had made the world a nastier place. The world wasn't something I held interest in, I was above that world. He had shown me that, that I was better then all of them who were ignorant to the real beauty of living, to scared to see it, to frightened to hear it. To weak to see fright was beauty. They didn't understand, he did, so I did. This was only a part of how we worked, both getting what we wanted. The pain, the pleasure, the power and the ecstasy of it all.

I stayed within the shadows as I watched the ugly men, brave enough to go for the pleasure, trying to stay ignorant to the pain, not seeing the beauty in the power, as they in their turn gazed upon what was mine. I would like to say they were unworthy to gaze upon the beauty that I had collected. So pained and broken.  
I hid within the shadows, of which so many had claimed that they inhabited my heart, but who needed a heart? A heart should pump blood through a body, making it bleed when demanded, that was what it should do, nothing else. It was such a meaningless organ; no amazing abilities like love laid within, no matter what ignorant ordinary humans claimed.

I walked off, seeing my slaves did exactly what they had to do. Please my master, by pleasing the ugly men. They were wonderful in their pain, but still unworthy to do anything else. I wondered if the new one was too.

I walked to the room where I had brought her. Opening the door, wondering what mask I had to put on.  
The mask was that of surprise. The small brunette with the fair face wasn't where I left her. How strange. Had she wandered off? Gotten away from the building? They never did that, they never tried until it was too late.  
I shrugged. I hadn't seen much potential in her anyway. She wasn't an entertainer in the slightest. No big money in her either way. I didn't mourn her.

I decided my toys had gotten enough time and almost flew back to the locked black door, almost feeling their tears. Those pretty tears on their pained faces.

**Macy PoV**

I had snuck out of the room the tall, blue eyed man. Matt, Nick's kidnapper, had put me in. Not locking the door. I wasn't sure why, but I was sure glad he did. I wanted to find Nick and Jay and I wanted to find them now. Nick had been trapped here for 2, almost 3, days now. We found Joe and Kevin on the first, they recovered on the second and now we were here to save them, on the third day.

I tiptoed through the hallways, almost desperately. I had started searching with so much hope. But there were countless doors, so many hallways. Locked doors, identical doors. Corridors and I had to find them preferably without anyone seeing me.

I tried another locked door, a red one this time and sighed in annoyance. How were we going to find them, how could we be sure they were still alive?

My feet hurt, but I kept on going, believing Nick and Jay were in much more discomfort then I was. I had to find them.

Suddenly a voice whisper-yelled my name: "Macy! Oh thank the lord, over here!"  
I spun around, looking at a familiar 2/3 black 1/3 blonde trio I loved so deeply and was really, really glad to see.

"Kevin!" I whisper-yelled back at the whisper-yeller. Throwing myself at them with jumpy happiness. Not really caring at the moment that someone could see. At least I had 2/3 of JONAS safe with me again. Now to find the last 1/3 and his counterpart.

"Macy." Stella sounded so relieved; she must have been thinking the same as I had. We were both fighting for the same. The life of all our friends. Of our lovers and their brother and his lover.  
Essentially, you could say we were fighting for love. For the survival of all our hearts. We could not live without each other.

Suddenly Kevin pulled my tighter against his chest and I saw Joe pull Stella into the shadows and a small hallway I hadn't even seen in the darkness.  
We didn't even breathe, which was really hard, seeing I was pulled flush against a JONAS. But I had to, for not 7 feet from us, walked by Matt. Alone and smiling deviously.

His voice was smoother then I expected as he whisper-sang: "He will be broken when he hears. See the pain upon his face. I will drink once more his fears. So the brown eyes drown in craze. The fire will never flame again. Green eyes were his last kiss. Always a matter of when, never a matter of if. Both dead, one in body, one in soul. The soul mates ripped apart; un-whole."

His voice was happy, exaggeratedly joyful. The man that walked by was ecstatic. His eyes gleamed with an almost reddish colour.

'Brown eyes will drown in craze. The redhead will never flame again'?

Oh god no.

Without thinking, I pulled myself away from Kevin and out of the shadows, after the man that was going to crush my friend.

**Nick PoV**

I didn't understand. What was the reason for the new pain on Jay's face? She just stood there, in the middle of the darkened room. In the same position she had been 2 minutes ago, when Matt had entered the room. Damned psychopath, I could still see the insane look of joy on his face when he… tortured me.

"Jay?" I whispered. Nothing happened; she just stood there, like she was thoroughly thinking something through. Something essential just happened, within those 2 sentences Matt hat spoke. And I had no idea whatsoever what it was.

I rose from the bed, wincing a little, my body still hurt a little. I could only imagine how Jay felt.

I approached Jay, careful not to touch the still form. Her red hair sprawled out all over her back and shoulders, her back towards me. Still staring at the wall.

"What is wrong?" I asked once more. Feeling my stomach tighten when she turned around, her eyes still darting between invisible points in the room. I dreaded the answer.

"He is sending one of us to the master." She answered, only making me more confused.

"How bad is that?" I questioned on. I needed to know in order to protect her.

Silence was my answer. It was the worst answer.

I swallowed hard as I approached her, now standing directly in front of her. Finally, she pulled herself from her thoughtful world and I almost took a step back at the fierce look in her eyes. Whatever she had been thinking about, her decision was taken.

"He is going to give one of us to the master." She began. "Nobody returns from the master. Ever."

My eyes didn't widen much, not at that part at least. I had expected this. Or something like this, the monster would never allow us to be together. Not if that was what made us happy. There was no doubt in my mind that whoever this master was, he would be incredibly cruel. Nobody returned could only mean one thing. Death, the worst kind.  
My surprise came from the fact that she didn't sound scared. I could guess what decision she had made.  
She stepped forward, into my arms once again. Though I still felt her wince from the skin on skin contact.

"I don't like the idea of leaving you behind." She said her voice still so strong.  
I grabbed her shoulders and gently pulled her from my chest.

"You're not going." I told her. "I'm not letting him take away that one chance you have on life."  
Her stare as she looked up at me was almost pained; so much love lay behind her eyes. Green love.

"Nick, don't. Don't be a hero, please."

"I am being a hero. You have a plan, don't you? Get away from him as soon as you turn eighteen? I believe you can survive until then." I stroked a few blood-red strands of hair behind her ear. "Then you can be free."

She shook her head, immediately releasing the locks again, so they fell in a curtain around her face. "You don't understand. I don't want to survive. I have made my decision."

"I'm not letting you kill yourself for me. I've had a life, a beautiful life…"

She smiled as she interrupted me. "Exactly. You have a life, people that love you. How they must adore you, I can only imagine." Her long fingers, the nail polish long gone, reached for my face and out of instinct, I held perfectly still as they brushed my skin, so soft I could swear I imagined the touch. "You love me." She finally had accepted the fact. "But you also love your brothers, your friends, your family. You have a loving heart."

"So do you. I'm not letting you waste that; you could bring so much love to the world. I have already given my share." I put my hand beneath her collarbone, feeling the pulse of her heart. Her hand soon joined mine and she frowned.

"You still don't understand." She wondered. "You have loved so many, while I haven't."

"Exactly."

"Only you." She continued, like I hadn't spoken at all. "In my whole life, I have never loved anybody. Only you. Or at least nobody as much as I love you now. You're the only friend I ever had. The only one brave enough to break through the walls. You are the only thing I know of that world behind my wall. You are the only one I ever loved and I _can't_ live on without that. It will be like I ripped my own heart out." Her hand now reached for my heart. Placing it on my chest. "Imagine that."

I looked at her. She was sincere, as much as she was stubborn. Idiotic lovable girl.

"No. You're going to live. I love you, you know that. I can't let you die if you love me too. The world will survive and it'll have one hell of an addition. You will be fine. You will be great. You hear me?" I was now almost pleading. The shimmer in her eyes those of tears, reflected in the rising moon. The third night was beginning.

That confused me. Jay wouldn't cry in anger. Not even in love, but then what?

"You idiotic lovable boy." She whispered and then she moved forward and pressed her lips against mine, wrapping her arms around my neck. Her lips were not soft, not sweet. No, they were almost rough, like her soul. I felt every part of them against mine. My arms encircling her.

My back hit the wall, how strange, but I let her, if she wanted, I was too caught up in our kiss. Sweet, almost desperate from her side. Oh, how much I loved her.  
Then suddenly, I heard a click. Not one-tenth of a second later my mind clicked as well.  
I should've guessed; this was Jay we were talking about after all. Devious, intoxicating, scarred but intelligent Jay...

She had cuffed me to the wall with her own chains.

"Jay…" I croaked, almost whined.

"I love you. I can't let you die for me. You're going to get out of here. I'm not going to rid the world of you." She said. Not looking away from my face, her smile was only barely smug; she secured the cuff around my wrists. She looked paler then ever in the light.

Then her skin darkened in red when the door opened. I could only see Matt from the corners of my eyes, still fixated on Jay's face. I could see the fire in her eyes, that flame I had so desperately fought for. Joe had been right, I had burned myself.

She rose from her kneeling position and send me an apologetic but brave look. Trying to reassure me with that fire in her eyes; that it was going to be okay. But it wasn't.

She walked towards him. Her frame looking tiny in comparison to his and I hated every inch of it. Every inch she walked away from me.

She looked back one more time before she disappeared with that monster. He would finally break her now.

Tears streamed over my face as I let one scream of agony rip itself from my chest, my throat, my mouth, before I slumped down the wall. Her scars, my scars, had been for nothing. Nothing anymore.

The door closed and all light disappeared. I didn't hear the soft click, I didn't hear anything. Nothing anymore.

_He will be broken when he hears. See the pain upon his face. I will drink once more his fears. So the brown eyes drown in craze. The fire will never flame again. Her green eyes were his last kiss. Always a matter of when, never a matter of if. Both dead, one in body, one in soul. The soul mates ripped apart; un-whole._


	14. cracking

Amelia PoV – somewhat earlier

I really, really hated having short legs. Why couldn't I be tall already, with long legs like Macy?  
Right, because I'm seven. Nothing works when you are seven. Though the 'running aimlessly and slipping through a thick crowd without anyone getting angry' thing was nice. Yeah, I was that cute, Frankie taught it to me.

At the moment (long on six, little one in between seven and eight –… oh, half past seven) I was sitting in the drum-bed that belonged to Nick, with E– el… rockstar-dog's head draped over my lap.  
My bestest buddy in the world (apart from you, of course, rockstar-dog) Frankie Lucas was staring at me, his feet dangling over the edge of the bed.

"So you saw my brothers…"  
I nodded  
"Going into some house after your sissy and Stella threw a weird hissy-fit?"  
"Hmm Hmm." I nodded so hard my neck hurt.

"And you didn't see them go out of the place."  
I popped my lips with a 'nope', startling rockstar-dog, so I had to pet his golden fur before I replied. "And there were a lot of scary men and some stráánge looking boys and girls."

"Downtown?"  
More nodding and rockstar-dog licking my face because he thought I wanted to play. I pushed him away, on my turn looking at Frankie curiously. His face looked like he was thinking really hard. Like that one time he got us free ice-cream… Or that time where he sneaked us into the circus, where we saw lions with almost the same shiny golden coat as Rockstar-dog!  
I hadn't really understood much of what had been going on at that scary house I followed Macy to. But Frankie was eight, after all. He would figure it out.

I kept petting E – el… Rockstar-dog and we both observed Frankie as he leaped up and walked to Nick's computer, touched it and opened it.

My eyes widened in fear and I pulled rockstar-dog close. Awaiting the wrath…  
It didn't come.

Even curiouser-er, I walked closer, rockstar-dag whining because of the loss of my little hand. I peeked over Frankie's shoulder. I didn't understand much of what he was doing, though he promised to teach me. (I was smart for a seven-year-old, thank you very much)  
But Nick's screensaver was something I remembered.  
Macy's birthday –my dress had been so pretty– and Macy was holding me in the picture, laughing at something Kevin said, while Nick regarded them with amusement, petting rockstar-dog.  
I had been leaning out of my big sister's arms to laugh with Frankie at Stella and Joe, who were leaning towards each other, smiling like idiots. It was one of those pictures where nobody was aware they were being photographed. I wanted to find Nick and ask him for a copy for Macy –my big sister would love this– but then I looked again, closer this time.

I felt like something was missing, like the picture was out of balance.  
I frowned as it disappeared when Frankie opened the browser. I made a… what did Joe call those? Note to myself and rested my head on Frankie's shoulder; he was googling the place I saw the little group of friends disappear in.  
He absent mindedly rose his hand (which he just yesterday had proclaimed to be sóóó much bigger then mine) and touched my cheek.  
Then, as the results came in and El – Elf… rockstar-dog pressed his nose in my palm, Frankie jumped, making me pull away from his shoulder with an 'umph' as he turned around.  
Rockstar-dog barked once and shook his blonde fur at the expression on Frankie's face.  
"Amelia?"  
"yeaáh?"  
"They're in trouble…"

===

Jay PoV – present time

His hand on my shoulder, burning my skin. His eyes on my face, waiting for the pain to break through, but I wouldn't show. I wouldn't give him that last satisfaction, the knowledge that he, by simply taking me down this hallway, had reached his goal: breaking me.

One feet in front of the other, my body in such a state of shock I couldn't do anything but give in to the pushing hand, further and further away from my Nick. Somewhere deep inside I wanted to scream, to kick and yell and howl his name. Scratch out Matt's heart and preferably his eyes too, so he would feel a little of the pain I was experiencing. Another part wanted to just collapse, curl up in a ball and cry.  
Both, however, would make Matt see how he had finally cracked me. Without any help of his master.  
So I just kept on walking, my thoughts focussed on a face with hurt brown eyes and dark greasy hair.  
Doing so hurt, but I had to. His face kept me sane, through the lingering taste of him on my lips, that made it so much worse. He kept me sane, like my mind had once done, only he did a better job. Though it hurt more.  
I knew I had to, I had to make him the last thing I ever thought about. Even if it hurt.  
It all would be over soon anyway.

Deeper, further, more into the place I had proclaimed to hell ages ago. Towards the room of no return. As melodramatic as it was, it was true.  
Nobody returned, I wouldn't return.  
And it was fine that way. As long as Nick lived it was okay. As long as he loved me. As long as there was one heart on this world that had honestly loved me.  
He would remember me, I would live on with him.

"Have fun, my love." Matt muttered. "Always have fun."

Then he opened the pure-white door and pushed me in.

I saw Matt's master immediately. My best guess was that the master didn't feel the need to try and scare me with dramatic entrances.  
The reason was quite obvious, because the second I saw Matt's idol; laid eyes on the creature, My heart went cold with fear. A question; "Did Matt ever actually see his employer?" flashed through my head.  
Because what sat in the leather chair before me couldn't be… shouldn't be…

She had once been beautiful, but her previous peach skin was now a parchment pale and covered in tattoos and scars. Her eyes seemed to be made of glass, the flat grey irises larger then I'd ever seen them on a human being, leaving almost no space for the black pupil. Her head was bald and she only wore a loose pair of black jeans. The rest of her exposed  
Her teeth, exposed in a horrific smile, were filed a razor sharp.

What scared me most, though, were the wrinkles of pure agony that were carved into her face. She had made no effort to hide them and her expression seemed hungry for my reaction to them.  
_She had learned the hard way…_

Her hand rose. Long, black and broken nails pointed at me, waving me closer.

To my surprise and hidden fear, I complied. More afraid of what would happen if I didn't.

She smiled and that instant, I knew it was coming.  
One last time, I closed my eyes and imagined him before me.

Then I screamed. Again and again and again.

=======

Stella PoV

Joe had to hold me back with force until Matt and Jay had disappeared, with one of his arms locked around my waist and the hand on the other covering my mouth.  
I knew it was for the best, but I wanted to chase, attack and kill that man so badly it was hurting. I wanted him to rot away in jail, purgatory and hell.  
At the same time, I wanted to run to the mahogany door and personally shred it to pieces for locking Nick within.  
But most of all though, I wanted to go in there and hug Nick until I couldn't feel my own arms.

Giving in to the last urge, Macy barely an inch behind me, just because I had longer legs, I sprinted towards the door as soon as Joe's arms relaxed just that tad bit.  
My nails scratched over the wood, almost giving in to the second urge, before Macy's hands found the knob. It turned and the door opened. How strange.

Macy looked at me once, but I couldn't pry my eyes from the darkness in front of me to gaze back.

Nick was in there.  
Nick was in there and he was hurt.  
Nick was in there, he was hurt and Jay just got taken away from him.  
Nick was in there, he was hurt, Jay just got taken away and his heart was broken.  
Nick was in there and it was dark.

It wasn't the darkness that scared me though. It was the pain that radiated from this very room. Ancient pain, decades of hurt, or so it seemed. I could almost hear the echoes of the screams that were released within this very room. The last scream the most painful of them all. I knew.

I reached for Joe and felt him squeeze my hand before he walked past me, straight into the dark.  
I followed him without question. Anything now and anything for him.

My eyes only needed a few seconds to adjust to the shadows and before long I saw the hunched, pained and shaking shadow chained to the right wall.  
That's why he didn't lock the door. Nick was chained to the freaking wall.

Macy and myself, as well as Kevin and Joe moved at exactly the same second, me and Kevin crouching down in front of Nick while Joe and Macy worked his chains. He pulled them once, without really believing. He still hadn't moved from his obviously uncomfortable position.  
He was filthy. No, rancid was more descriptive. His shirt was shredded and his hair was almost flat on his head with grease. His skin decorated with a coverage of sweat, only here and there washed away by what must have been tears, the tracks running all over his body, but mostly his face.  
He was a mess, a broken soul with a beating heart.

My hands reached for his face, forcing it to look at us and I almost sighed in relief. His eyes were still strong. They searched for mine.

"help her." He muttered. "She can't.. He can't.. It can't."

"Shh." I hushed him, stroking his face softly, though I knew it weren't the soothing fingertips he craved. "it's going to be fine. We got you. You're going to be fine."

"No, no!" He pushed against my hands with surprising force. "Hurt me, make me feel her pain, kill me. Just help her."

It was like the temperature dropped several degrees within that moment.

Then two dark hands, Kevin and Joe, reached for Nick.

"We will." Kevin said.  
"We'll help her as soon as we get you out of these things." Joe finished smoothly.

"Almost there." Macy's voice added and with a click, the chains released Nick's wrists and he slumped to the ground for a second, before he was on his feet again, staring at us, then at the door and back. Indecisive and looking back and forth like a cartoon character.

"Let's go." I said. If Nick loved her, that automatically made her my second surrogate sister. And as said before, I'd do anything for the ones I loved.

We moved like we'd rehearsed it, in a perfect formation. Joe in the front, flanked by Kevin and Nick in their shadow. There was no discussion, because Nick knew they wouldn't allow anything to hurt him at this point. Macy and I closed the circle.

We ran through the hallways. Following both the trial of miniscule blood-drips and Nick's apparent intuition for Jay.

We didn't get very far.

A hand closed itself around Joe's throat, yanking him out of our reach and into a dead lock within long, tanned arms. Pale blue eyes looking down at him.

"What a beauty you are, in actual light." Matt cooed. "Wonder if you're just as stubborn as your little brother."

"No!" I shrieked. This time held back by none other then Macy. Sweet irony, how I hated the fact that she was a strong athlete now.

"Let go of my brother!" Nick growled, this time, pain evident behind his brown eyes. Reflecting the white of the walls.

"Let go of my possession." Matt growled back, smiling like the maniac he was.

I knew everyone but Nick was confused at his words. What possession, what could Nick possibly have that Matt wanted?

"Never!" Nick snapped, livid with hate.

Ah, of course. Jay.

"The choice is easily made, isn't it." Matt remarked, before he stepped back into the shadows, pulling Joe with him. The look on my loved's face was terrified, but not for himself. But for me, Macy and his brothers. I could sense it, just before he disappeared.

Nick's eyes grew even wider and I saw the cracks appear in them. Worriedly I watched him once again look from one side to the other. I could practically hear his brain cracking.  
I could also feel my nails itching.

"Go to Jay. I got this." I seethed and dived into the shadows without a second thought.

=====

Kevin PoV

It was stupid, reckless, but something Stella needed to do. I just added it to the list of things I needed to worry about.  
But with the way that woman could fury over just a pair of ripped jeans, it wasn't very high on that black list.  
The thing at the very top though, Nick, obviously. Stared at the shadows for barely a tenth of a second more then I had, before he concluded the same.

So he ran, with me and Macy by his side. Because we knew he couldn't do this alone. Jay was in danger and I refused to expose my brother to that danger all by himself.

It was remarkably clear inside of my head, clearer then it had been for a while, especially since the blow I received to it.  
I knew exactly where I was needed and right now, Nick needed me more then Joe did. Joe had himself, in shape and fighting, and he had Stella, hurricane all by herself. I would pray, but I couldn't leave my younger-er brother now.

So we ran, through the hallways, flanking Nick. I don't think Macy had a conscious idea of what she was doing. But she was going along with it just as I was. We didn't think, our intuition, instincts and love for the ones we loved had completely taken over.

We reached a door. It was so fluorescent white it hurt my eyes, but it didn't seem to bother Nick, though he was the one that had been locked in a dark room for several days, probably tortured and emotionally wrecked to the core.

He just slammed it open and came to a halt. Searching, thinking, because that was his strongest point.

I peered over his shoulder and a sense of déjà vu flowed my senses, staring into a dark room.

My instincts rose to a new peek, my intuition screaming for my to run, but the sight of a loved one in pain kept me in place as all shattered to pieces and everything was suddenly a different shade of clear.  
I no longer knew exactly what I had to do, but I saw exactly what had caused that.  
The monstrosity that was bowed over the lifeless body of a small, pale, red-headed girl.

======

Frankie PoV

"Dad?"

"hmmm…. Yeah? Oh, hello Amelia. What's wrong Frankster?"

"We got a bit of a problem."

And _that_ my friends, is the understatement of the century. With what my brothers locked in a _whore-house_ that was known for having several issues and running cases involving trafficking and slavery, just after I had seen both Kevin and Joe with major bruises and Amelia's sister (I had to start calling her Macy) with the first scared expression I had ever seen on her.  
Not to mention my other idiot of a brother had been hanging around a very dubious red-headed beauty with a slave-collar.  
Not good. Not. Good.

That is what I call, being deep, deep down in problems that I didn't even _want_ to know how to solve.

Amelia's hand found mine. Trying to get comfort out of me, just because I was one year older then she was.  
She didn't know this was even out of _our_ pranking ways.

**First of what I hope to be many updates… I have too much inspiration and too less time. But that problem is solving, since I'm practically, almost, on the verge of freedom.**

second to last chapter, I think. Not counting epilogue. 


	15. singing

**Matt PoV**

I refused to believe that I had failed. Someone as debonair, as perfect as I couldn't possibly fail. So the thought in itself was too ridiculous to even consider. I was too high above all of the ignorant humans that I couldn't possibly loose to them.  
After all, it was my master who had taught me everything, even the importance of the unknown, which was why I was never graced with the present of knowing the face nor the appearance of the person that had shaped my soul into the brilliance that it was now. Trained god in body, vicious in mind.

I did have to scold myself for having overlooked. For I hadn't seen the beauty of the boy's brothers when I'd left them in the alley. From careful and painful training, I should've seen that they were of an exquisite beauty, as they had the same pureness to their souls –as well as their bodies— as young Nicholas.  
The golden skinned boy I had pulled out of their reigns, I believed him to be the middle brother, showed an enthralling amount of fright. _Why hadn't I seen?_  
The beauty of it was, that it wasn't just for himself –though that was a factor— but mostly for those I'd ripped him from.

My master had soon figured out the little group to be a complicatedly woven force, tied together by not just blood and love, but friendship and trust equally. And my master had shown me.  
It was refreshing to me, to see what I had been shown, and I anticipated peeling the delicate wires of affection apart. Destroying them. I yarned for the pleasure that would give.

I'd picked the middle brother, because he was the one with the most ties at that point. Coming from the brothers, the golden haired girl and the small brunette. Love –brotherly or elsewhere involved— long lasting friendship and adoration, even.

I sped through the hallways of my master's domain. Knowing she expected me to do this, knowing I _would_ do this. Distract the little coven of lovers long enough for her to finish the first of the ties. Jay, the newest link to the group, only tied to them through the youngest brother. It all had been my master's plan, of course and I felt blessed still that I was trusted with this job, that I was the one picked over all those ignorant and unworthy others, or so I had been told. I smiled; it once again confirmed my great being.

I smiled even brighter when I caught sight of the increasing fright on the boy's face, scared by my laugh. I still pulled him along, towards the point that was as far away from the room as possible. _The roof_. Directly underneath the half-full moon and I was loving the way this turned out. My skin would shine with the beams of moonlight, making me even more invincible then I already was.

I was marvelling, I was allowed to inflict pain, both physically and mentally. I was grateful towards my master for granting me the pleasure of torturing the purest souls we'd encountered in quite a while.  
The most pure souls we'd found since Jay, actually. We had known there would be a purpose in keeping her around. Hoping that she would attract more of her kind. And our plan had worked, giving us not one, but six souls to take. They were all ours.

The boy and I broke through the door that led us to the rooftop; the most climaxic location I could imagine for the scene I was planning.

I turned around and for the first time that night, I was shocked.

"You are alone?"

The blonde haired girl nodded. "And I demand of you to let him go. Now!" She hissed through her teeth.  
Then I smiled at the perfection of it all. _My _perfection. I'd caught the exact ones that would be of the most pleasure to _me. _Friendship to the level of almost soulmates, love, once denied and hidden, but now blooming in their hearts. My master had given me a great present.  
And not to mention, if the boy was very hopefully different from his younger sibling and the girl acted like the beauty she was, they would be very vocal victims too.  
Destroying these bonds and the mental agony it would bring would be very, very convenient.

The girl snarled and I smiled in response. Certainly very interesting, these bonds that were displayed.

**Amelia PoV**

"Okay, sweetheart, are you sure this is the house they went to?" Frankie's father's finger pointed towards the computer screen.  
My eyes flashed to Frankie, who was standing next to the laptop, his hand resting on rockstar-dog's head, he nodded.

"Yes." I answered, sure of myself, the building had scared me enough to be sure as fire.

Frankie's dad said a word I would be scolded for and stood up. "Nick's been gone for almost 4 days, the others for 2 and Amelia says they've gone _there_." He said to Frankie's mom, who was anxiously standing by the fire-poles.

"Something must've gotten to them." She said, tears in her eyes. "Oh god, what if we're too late? My poor babies, they must've been kidnapped or something!"

"But Amelia saw them go in all on their own, didn't you?" Frankie commented, once again focussing all the attention on me, making a blush creep up my cheeks.  
"All of them, but Nick and Jay."

"Who's Jay?"

**Kevin's PoV**

It was the most disturbing and disgusting sight I had ever seen in my life.  
And that was saying something. Seeing this comes from the person who grew up with 3 younger brothers.

The woman, or what I assumed to have once been a woman, was hunched over the still body of Jay. She looked like a serpent, like the serpent of all evil. She was truly ugly, but from the looks of it, she didn't seem to mind.  
From the looks of it, she had barely escaped from what she was doing to Jay at this moment, torturing her to near-death.  
From the looks of things, it wasn't going to take long for her to finish the job.  
Jay's body was even paler then the last time I saw her and covered in neatly carved cuts and carefully aimed stabs that made sick figures all over her limbs, like she was a morbid piece of art. I also saw bite-mark, obviously from the bald woman's obviously razor teeth. I saw lines that must've been carved by the broken nails run all over her torso and the angry red colour of countless hits made me feel like it had been me that had been mercilessly punched.

Or only advantage on the 'master' or rather 'mistress' of Matt was that she was taken by shock, or amusement, either one, when we'd stormed into the room.

My eyes switched to Nick and I groaned.  
_Of course_, he wouldn't even _see_ the lizard-woman. _Of course_, his eyes would be completely focussed on the pale body.  
His brown eyes were wide with horror, with hurt, with actual panic like I'd never seen it before in my brother, the one that had always been the strong, emotionless one.  
I was thankful that Jay brought those feelings to the surface, but I wasn't particularly fond of the timing.

"Get away from her." Macy finally spoke. Or rather, growled.  
My eyes now switched to her, along with a pair of glassy grey ones, and I was amazed with what I saw.  
Fire burned behind Macy's eyes. Her small body almost trembling with anger and I knew she felt the same way I did. Felt the absolute necessity of saving Jay. Saving the poor girl from that horrendous creature looming above the exposed body of our friend.  
Yeah, I already considered her to be a friend, even though I'd never actually met her. Nick loved her, and by the way he looked at her, he loved her a lot. That was enough.

"Not likely, isn't she beautiful?" The woman cooed. She looked absolutely thrilled. Overly happy with Jay's ruined and pained body. I felt sick to the depths of my stomach. "And come to think that Matt will do this to each and every one of your little group. Maybe even the younger siblings, if we can get our hands on them."

I scowled. "Why let your partner does the dirty work?"

The woman practically howled with laughter as she finally stood up. "My partner, oh my, dear soul, that _is_ a good one!" She hiccupped and it was so different from anything I'd expected to come out of her wrinkled throat that I instinctively stepped back, in front of Macy and my younger brother, who was still staring at the figure at the feet of my point of focus. "To answer your question though, young one, I am not really interested in physical pain, no I leave that for my puppet, my beautiful, idiotic puppet to do. No mental pain, similar to what your littlest brother is going through right now, is so much _better_. Isn't it brilliant, to train a puppet who loves the physical part, so I can get the agony in your innocent heads all to myself?"

I felt the need to puke.

"This one never really covered the need, too damn protective of her own mind. Until our young brother changed that and look at her now. The ultimate image of perfection."

She looked at Jay with affection and softly nudged her in the ribs, making a breath of air slip through Jay's lips.

"And to imagine that I get to see that pain on all of your faces when Matt rips apart your heart. The perfect suffering. The perfect pain." She had started laughing now. Not like an evil genius though, more like someone who was utterly in control. "The perfect death."

Macy and I moved as if we were one person, rather then two, as we lunged towards the tattooed monster.

It, for the lack of a better word, growled at us with what I recognised to be joy. She _liked _the fact that we were attacking her. She wanted a challenge.  
Well, then that was what she was going to get.

Our impact was different from what I expected. The bald, half naked women was too skinny to have this much resistance.  
But yeah, she had it. She threw us back with ease, but not before I had gotten a hold of her bony shoulder, pulling her with me in her own shove, so she flew over my head and against one of her own closets. With yet again a way too hard impact, she made the large wooden storage-device wobble dangerously, so everything it contained rained down on her. I saw Macy run for it, giving it the final shove.  
It toppled over and with a muffled thud, extracted the master from our view, covering her with its illegal wood.

I panted, more from the shock then from actual exhaustion, because my body hadn't done much.  
She had.

The knife she had been holding in her hands had driven itself into my left shoulder and pain pulsed up and down my arm, my back and my neck.

I ignored it though; there were more important matters at hand. I refocused on Nick, who was holding Jay's body to his chest, his head buried into her hair.

I felt Macy's hands on me, felt her pulling the knife from my flesh and push the wound closed. (It was a good thing she was the first-aid expect, thanks to the countless sports related injuries she hat treated) But I didn't look towards her and instead grabbed her hand.

"No." Nick sobbed. "Please, no. Jay, don't do this. Don't die on me now. Please."

And I could only helplessly watch as my brother's new found love exhaled for one last time, before she completely stopped breathing. Her blood dripped on the floor, along with Nick's tears.  
It was like time itself stilled, just to honour her.

**Stella's PoV  
**  
He had hurt so many. So many innocents, so many children, so many grown-ups. He had hurt the slaves that worked here. He had been hurting Jay for years now and he had hurt Nick, who was essentially my brother.

And now he was standing there, with my best friend, brother and soulmate locked in his arms, smirking like he was god himself.

I wanted to rip that smirk from his face and personally make sure it was boiled in the depths of hell.  
I wanted him, to rot away in the deepest dungeon to possibly exist.

Matt just smiled.

His tall frame looked impressively strong in the soft lightning. Joe looked deathly scared in the same light.  
Matt's hair was blown all around his head and ice-blue eyes stared at me, humouring me.

"Come on then, princess." He challenged, edging closer to the end of the roof, dragging Joe with him. "You know you want to."

Oh, how I wanted it. But I knew better. He still had Joe, firmly in his grasp. I couldn't risk hurting him too, even if it meant I'd waste my chance.

"What now, scared?" He taunted, trying to get to me. "Come out and _play_, sweetheart!"

I snarled at him, but waited as he still edged closer.  
My eyes searched for contact with Joe's. It wasn't easy, because the chocolate orbs kept on flashing between my face and the demon's face.

_C'mon, Joe, look at me! You are the only one that could understand me!_

I kept looking and finally, I caught my lover's attention.

_The edge._

He immediately understood and started struggling again, trying to get Matt to go closer to the edge of the building without him noticing.

"Nuh-uh. Pretty one." Matt corrected Joe, with a slap to his cheek. "Bad boy."

"You nasty piece of filth, don't touch him!" I yelled, advancing carefully.  
As I'd hoped he took a step back.

"Yeah, come out and play, princess!" Matt encouraged. Edging closer, but now using my plan against me.  
With horror and fright coursing through every part of me, I saw him slowly leading over, Joe first, only holding him by the back of his neck, and carefully pushing him to look over the edge the whole three stories down to the ground.

"Be careful though, princess, wouldn't want your prince to fall down, now would we?"

"Let go of him!" I tried one more time, as if it was actually going to help him. God what I would give for a needle and thread. To sew his mouth shut for once and for all.  
Or one of Kevin's guitars, bet that would hurt.

Matt leaned further and observing as I was, I finally saw an opening.

_Now!_ I mentally screamed, putting it in every viber of me, so I also screamed in body-language. Something Joe was flawless in reading.

And Joe pulled. Both himself and Matt over the edge.

**Frankie PoV**

"Here, right here. This is where you saw them, right, Am?"

"Yes! That's the house. That's it!" Amelia shouted anxiously, tugging on my arm as my father and the police ran in.

I begged for it not to be too late.

**Nick PoV**

No, no. Please, no. I refused to believe it. I refused to believe she was gone. It wasn't too late! I would not believe that this beautiful soul I had come to know in these past weeks was never going to open her vivid green eyes again, was never going to scold me, or sarcastically put me in my place.  
I refused to believe she would never laugh again, she would never scream again, she would never cry again.

Because we would've cried. We would've laughed and we would've screamed.

I felt her go limp and I begged her to fight. Of course, she couldn't. She was the bravest person I knew, beating everyone I'd known in my whole life with ease. She had been fighting for years.  
Hope was lost if she couldn't do it now.

No. No. She couldn't be dead. How could she be when my heart throbbed so painfully only for her?

There had been so much she should've done. She should've been lighting up this world with her re-lit fire. She could've seen and done so much.  
I'd wanted to show her so many things, do so many awesome things with her by my side.  
I'd wanted to teach her things, help her with the things she'd never know. Introduce her to life as it should be.  
All of that was taken away. Her life was wasted. She never had a chance, never had a fair shot at life. And what a waste it was.

I'd wanted to sing so many songs to her…

I pulled her from my chest, watching her head fall back, her back in an everlasting arch in my arms. I stroked her flaming red hair. Seeing the blonde roots appear at the top of it, smiling. I didn't know why, but I smiled. Remembering her first honest laugh she'd shared with me. The tones of her voice as _she _sang. Her fierce position when she screamed at someone. The mean raise of her eyebrow whenever she was annoyed.

Almost automatically, I started to sing.

_"She's the pale girl, with the red hair.  
grateful for every breath of air.  
She's the beauty, with the green eyes.  
hear her pain filled cries at night.  
She's the pure soul, with the blood drips.  
As the screams release her lips.  
She is filled with loss and fears.  
As she wipes away her tears."_Without being aware of it. The words to the half-formed song in my head, the thousandth dedicated to her, changed into something I didn't recognise. The words I formed were of the same language she'd sang in before.  
The language of the song she'd healed herself with.  
I poured everything I had into the words that flowed over my lips. Crying for her. Feeling every part of my body tingle at the mysterious words.

It was the last thing I could do for her. Sing her into a peaceful last sleep.

Then, bright green eyes suddenly opened. The familiar eyebrow now arched in wonder.

* * *

**Superstars to the rescue!  
**_Blog entry of Tuesday. _

So, our most favourite rockstars have once again showed us how wonderful they actually are, fellow fans and bloggers!  
This weekend, supposedly, the brothers of JONAS helped rolling up a major trafficking business and an illegal prostitute ware-house, saving the lives of dozens of innocent and owned young people.

It gets even better, believe it or not. Rumour has it that the brothers and their friends even single-handedly caught the leaders behind the whole thing!  
Ain't that amazing? What is not to love about those three?

Photos show us that Nick walked out of the doomed building, holding the bloodied body of a young girl, who of course was immediately rushed to the hospital, along with the other victims. Nick looked like he'd been locked up in a dungeon for days, which could turn out to be quite true, since multiple sources declared him missing for over 3 days!  
Could Nick have been a victim to these traffickers too? Oh no! Poor Nicky! Did his brothers jump to his rescue? Or did Nick himself jump into the pool of bad news in order to save those unfortunate souls? I'll keep you updated!

The police, who had luckily already arrived at the crime scene when needed, thanks to smart thinking of one Frankie Lucas and his little best friend (how much more amazing can this get?) rolled up the whole illegal trafficking meeting-point and has declared the raid to be an humongous success and an opening to many more hidden hellholes.  
Leader of the whole gang, or rather leaderess (who looked horrendous, may I add, fellow fashion-freaks) was, cuffed and all and heavily cursing, led out of the building barely minutes after the youngest hero rockstar was also brought to the hospital. Witnesses have confirmed that she was screaming about not getting her fill of tortured souls.  
What a bitch.

Another member of the 'staff' of the whorehouse (mind my French, I am just as shocked as you are) was not found when the police searched the building for more evidence. But they did find Joe, who apparently had almost fallen of the roof of the three-story building when he'd tried to catch the bastard. (Le gasp!).

A blushing Stella Malone (stylist of JONAS) later hiccupped that she'd single handedly pulled him back up.  
Wow, amazing, isn't it?

It got even better when the oldest Lucas brother walked out of the building too, his arms firmly wrapped around someone we recognised to be none other then _Macy Misa_. Fan club leader and fellow student at the boys' school.  
Could there be a hero romanceship going on between these two? Yes please!

The two took their little siblings (Frankie's young best friend turned out to be Misa's younger sister) to the hospital and reports say that the whole Lucas clan has recovered, though they are all a little shaken up from their adventure. Other pictures show them all being thoroughly hugged by their parents.  
Aww!

On the downside though, JONAS-heads, it is said that the girl Nick carried out is still in a critical condition. Our prayers go out to her.

As always you can count on me for further updates on this JONAS-related happening!

* * *

**Hmm.. does this seem rushed to you? It does to me..  
But there'll be an epilogue. **

**A review though, for old times sake? **


	16. remembering

**-****Sobs- oh man, I can't believe its over… -wipes away tears- I loved writing this so much! As well as reading all of your wonderful feedback. Heck even seeing that you lovelies read was wonderful.  
I love the characters in this story so much. Especially Jay. I wanted to write her a happily ever after. But she wouldn't let me. She's that strong in my head. I am sad that I could only give you a little bit of what she is. And I am sad to see her go. But it's okay this way. I'll miss her though.  
Matt on the other hand…**

**Anyway. Thanks for sticking with me and my horrible update-issues. *ahem* and oh, did I mention there's some kind of a poorly made banner? yeah; w w w . twitpic . c o m / 1 ul 3d 7 The link's also in my profile, along with others.**  
**Now, to the story.**  
**You can see this as the epilogue or an additional chapter, since it turned out to be quite long.**  
**Let me know what you think, one last time, okay?**  
**Love you…**

* * *

**A few months later. Jay PoV**

My eyes scanned the unfamiliar scenery through the small, fenced window. It was dark outside, but the moon was almost full, and I was bathed in silver light. My hands around my knees, leaning against the wall, trying to get a bit of distance from the smelling bodies beside me.  
I absent mindedly stroked greasy blonde hair out of my face. The gesture making me smile, because I knew how much my Nick loved the fair hair.  
Then I sighed.

Here I was, yet again, locked up in some dirty, small dungeon. It was ridiculous to consider that what Matt and his mistress had done to me was almost kind in comparison to this. But it was true, in sense of comfort, anyway. Pssh, hear me talk.  
I rubbed my face in exhaustion, this wasn't exactly near the top of my 'things I just _love_ to do' list; being away from Nick (and a nice shower with that) But I knew I had to, even though I knew it was dangerous and you know, it might potentially kill me.

I had only barely survived the attack of the 'lizard witch', as Kevin so affectionally called her, many months ago. I had been asleep for a remarkable 6 days, back then, 4 of which were comatose. The only thing that had pulled me through was the image of Nick's dirty, bloodied, but extremely happy face when I'd seen him in the brief moment of time I'd been in the light before I had once again glided to darkness. (Cliché, I know. But the image was dear to me)

Nick still said that it had been a few of the toughest days of his life, including the 3 days we'd been locked up together, because at least then, or so he claimed, I had been surely alive.  
I still rolled my eyes at the memory, but also couldn't help but smile. Sickly romantic dork.

The weeks after that though, had been the least toughest of _my_ entire life. Most certainly the happiest. This wasn't really saying something, seeing the way I'd spend my life up until then. But it meant a lot to me. No bitchin'.

My head snapped back to reality when I heard a cry of pain; it was the young girl again, who was locked up along with me and the 10 other women. She was just barely Amelia's age and my hands immediately started to stroke her dirty black hair as I crawled closer to her, trying to soothe. She was scared to death and beyond. (Can't blame her, poor kid, I remembered I was her age… though I hadn't been crying that much)  
So I hugged her until she fell asleep and smiled when I remembered the day when exactly the same thing happened with the previously named Misa-sibling.

I had watched her play all day, something I never grew tired of, for some reason or another. And her too, had I hugged to sleep.  
I'd been sitting in the windowsill after that, her sleeping form on Joe's bed behind me. Musing about the same thing I was now. The fact that I was so damn happy. Ridiculously happy.  
It had been raining, which was fine with me, because I loved rain. It was the same scenery as a few weeks before that, when I'd been sitting in Matt's windowsill. So much had changed since then.  
I allowed myself to slip back into the memory.

The group of friends, Nick's group of friends. _My_ group of friends had absorbed me in its midst without further question. It was natural, like a lot of things were natural within the little bubble of happiness that I had reeled in.  
Stella had told me (on one of those horrible afternoons she'd tried to doll me up) that it was like I was the missing piece to their puzzle. And I could now admit that she did have a point.  
There were Kevin and Macy, Stella and Joe, Frankie and Amelia, but up until the point of my arrival, it had always been just Nick. Then, there was Nick and Jay. Puzzle solved.  
There was Macy and Nick, both so intense with the things they did that they could sit next to each other for hours without any kind of interaction, just existing and doing what they did. There was Joe and Amelia because the little toddler and the pubescent rockstar had a certain fascination with each other. There were Frankie and Stella, who could bicker for _hours, _because of a shirt Frankie ruined or a prank he'd played on the blonde; his favourite subject. And then, there was –surprisingly— Kevin and Jay.

I'd spend a lot of time with the elder brother in those happy weeks. Which had been a surprise to the others at first, but like all the other things, it was natural. It wasn't nearly as much as with Nick, but it was very nice indeed.  
Kevin and myself were complete opposites with most things. Where he was romantic, full of fantasy and a genuinely happy and trusting person, I was the down-to earth, sarcastic, genuinely ruined and suspicious one. But that only brought us closer, rather then that it let our personalities clash.  
Kevin's happy mind had more then often soothed mine and his number of scatterbrained ideas-gone-averse had decreased enormously since I had come to gently steer him away from them. It was one of the things that I had never dared to dream of, but had gotten anyway.

I remembered sitting in that windowsill, watching the young Misa-girl dream and mutter in her sleep, seeing what real childhood was about when I had felt Nick's arms slide around my waist, his lips pressed to my exposed shoulder soothingly, because he sensed I was thinking hardly.  
Then we'd talked, until deep in the night, a thing that happened more then once. We never spoke of what we were to each other though, because that, once again, had become too natural to even bother talking about. We didn't talk, we just were.  
Nick would however –seriously, mind you— never become something I'd consider something normal, something that was a stable thing in my life. He would always stay that wonderful surprise he'd been when he broke down my wall, his arms open. And I would always have that feeling of coming home when he would close them around me.

Yeah, his romanticness was rubbing off on me. I'm doomed to the depths of love.  
And did I care?  
Naw, not really.

The sleeping girl on my lap snuggled up to me and I only slightly winced at the skin-to-skin contact.  
The lovely elderly Lucas's, who had insisted on me coming to live with them so generously (once again something I'd gotten without ever asking for it) had asked if I'd wanted to see a psychiatrist and I was fully aware that everything that was _wrong_ with me would've been fixed a lot sooner then it would now. But being away from my new beloveds, being away from my newly found other half, it just wasn't an option. I had discovered I did have a very strong will, when it came down to it.  
I'm such an idiot, but I knew no one judged me for it. They were far to loving for their own good. It would bite them in their butts eventually, but I would try and make the bite hurt the least I could possibly manage.  
Oh yeah, I also found out I'm strangely possessive over the ones I love.  
I'd seen it with the others. The protectiveness when they hover over their mates or the two littlest siblings. It was apparently a natural thing that came with love, not that I'd known, but I learned soon enough.

Of course not everybody had been happy with my renewed appearance and my new link with the youngest member of JONAS (I had to get used to that part of Nick's life too, but for the thousandth time it had turned out to be a natural part of him)  
I silently chuckled at the memory.

_ "Hi Nicky-pooh!" Leslie van Dyke had cooed, the first day Nick and myself had attended school again, about 2 weeks after the accident. (I had shrugged off the concerns; I'd been to school under way worse circumstances)  
Leslie had been all over him, waving her unnatural blonde hair in his face, hoping to completely woo him with her shampoo. Yeah, like that could mask the stench.  
"Where have you been, hottie? I missed you so much!"_

At that point, I had walked up to Nick, shoved her aside and had pulled him down in a kiss that had left both him and the obnoxious girl unable to speak for a few minutes. Him because of, well… me and Leslie because of the fury and jealousy she was feeling.

I had given her a sickly sweet smile, asking if maybe I'd interrupted something, after which I laughed out loud saying; "Oh sorry, I forgot you could never be in the midst of something, because frankly. He's mine."  
Then I'd happily dragged Nick to musical history. Ironically the first class we'd ever met.  
Leslie hadn't shown up the entire period. Nick hadn't talked for the entire period either, but I took that one as a good thing. 

I felt bad for hurting Leslie (kinda…) but like I said, I was possessive of the ones I loved.  
Shrugging Leslie and her dumb herd off my mind I went back to the more pleasant memory of Nick and myself in the windowsill and the feeling of leaning against his chest, just talking.  
I missed him, god did I miss him. I missed each and every one of them.  
Love, my friends, turns out to by quite painful here and there.

The sweet smile of Mrs. Lucas every morning when she gave me the biggest platter of breakfast, trying to get me out of the 'dangerously thin shape' (I always sneaked half of my plate to Joe, who knew and didn't mind).  
I missed Joe's jokes and the way he would always try to pry a smile out of me. I wasn't a person who naturally smiled a lot, but according to him, he had grown up with Nick and was used to it. I missed his touching (he was simply a person that needed touch) but was always gentle when it came to me. I was spared his bone-crushing bear-hugs, but every once in a while I would be lifted up and thoroughly spun around. Though I didn't necessarily miss that. Just like I didn't exactly miss Stella's attempts to make use of my 'pretty face' and dress me up like a Barbie-doll. But I did miss my 'girl-talks' and our sisterly sketch-sessions (turns out I was kind of talented in drawing…. What about that, huh?) She was the one that had taken me out shopping and found me the deliciously wide, baggy clothes I loved to wear. After all, I had been in too tight, showy clothes for all of my life… She was a bit disappointed, but otherwise, no one really cared how I looked.  
I missed my new found friend in Kevin, who had developed almost the same level of skill in reading me as Nick had. I missed his adorable thoughts and the way he could be so caught up in what he did. I missed his interaction with everyone around him.  
I missed his girlfriend Macy, who always brought excitement wherever she went. She was the one that got me into physical exercise, something that was almost as efficient as Nick in taking my mind of things. I had always been strong and flexible and I loved increasing my skills.  
With that, I missed playing the piano and my lessons with Nick. I missed trying to tame the guitar with Kevin. I missed playing basketball with Joe, I missed playing with Amelia, her wonderful childishness and 'rockstar-dog' Elvis in the park (yeah, I sorta had a pet now too, once again something I'd unexpectedly gotten) I missed Frankie's constant attempts to prank me and the way the youngest Lucas never ceased to ask me questions no one else dared to. His honesty was refreshing...

But mostly, I missed Nick. My beautiful Nick. I missed the way he understood me without speaking, I missed the way he subconsciously always tried to protect me. How his first reaction was always to look at me, either to see if I was okay after something that might disturb my 'gentle soul' –cough, cough. Yeah— or for reassurance of his own. I loved calming his nerves before his show; I missed his passion on stage.  
But mostly, I missed his music. And not just the music he made with his guitar, his piano, his drums. Not even his voice.  
I missed the music we made within. I missed the music we shared, constantly and sometimes without noticing.  
Writing songs had never been as easy as when we were together. We completed each other.  
Okay, yeah. I am romantic. Shut up.

And it was so hard being away from him, harder then I ever thought possible, back in the day.  
And it was almost as if I was back in the dark ages of my life, when I didn't have him. Almost.  
Because I did have him. I could feel him, everywhere I went, and I felt the strings that attached me to him. It was natural and necessary.  
But what I did now was necessary too. Something I wanted, almost as badly as I needed to be close to him. Almost.  
He wasn't happy, of course, that he didn't have me by his side. (Or rather, that he wasn't by _mine_, but I'd refused to let him join me.)

When my mind had cleared up and I felt like I was in balance again after those weeks of light, this wish had made itself clear.  
I'd thought and talked about what happened to me a lot in that time. I knew how horrible it was. Having no future, except for constant pain and suffering.  
And there were countless others that shared that fate.  
I'd gotten out of it and I wanted to help others get out of it too. I wanted a new purpose for my life.

They'd been reluctant, at first. Caring, worrying. Being the idiotic loving beings they were. Nick had been the only one to take it in silence. Knowing it would hurt to be away, but also, of course, putting his own needs below mine.  
And it had been his idea anyway, me living to help the world. I hadn't ceased to rub that in his face.  
Of course, in the end, they'd supported me. They tagged along when I went to talk to the police and the governmental blah blah's involved. Nick's rockstar funds had helped too.

And now, I was here. Inside yet another illegal trafficking organisation. This time, the bastards handled in young women.  
I was perfect for the job, really. And even though the ones that worked with me now had been a little unhappy with it at first, because of my young age and fragile appearance (insert eye-roll here) they had quickly come to appreciate me _very_ much. I had shown I was of great value, multiple times.

Somehow, I was appealing to the dark-side of human-kind. Dunno why and I don't think I want to know, but I was.  
I also was very strong by soul. Even stronger now that I had Nick to fall back on at any moment. I could withstand almost anything the bad-guys could put me through and I loved to laugh in their faces at the end. Because that was what I did now. I was helping catching the Matt's of the poor unfortunate souls around me.  
I loved helping them and I smiled at the thought that it would be over soon for this little girl on my lap too. Because of me, all of the women around me would be free again, when my new co-workers would arrive. My confession would make those rotten men pay dearly for what they were doing. And that was why I got myself captured, got myself close to torturing every time. Watching, until I had enough evidence to get them good, always trying to find links to other organisations. Trying to protect the victims in the meantime, because mostly, they were as broken as the slaves in Matt's place had been. To help them. Like Nick had done me.

But it wasn't the only reason, not the main reason why I was breaking down these criminal companies that were abusing human rights. It was more then just the desire to help those that shared my previous pain. More then the knowing that there were thousands, if not more, that had no future to look at, just like me, because they hadn't been as fortunate to meet someone as my Nick.  
I knew I was lucky, I knew I was an exception and because of that, I couldn't let myself have the perfect happy fairytale ending.

The main reason was that I _knew_ that one day, I would find Matt. Find the man whose body hadn't been found where it should've been laying after Joe and Stella had thrown him off the roof. I would find the man that was undoubtedly alive and he would rue the day that I did.  
Not because of what he did to me or the fact that he tried to break me, not because he tried to damn my life, but because he hurt Nick.

Because that, to me, was something that couldn't be forgiven.

Nobody hurt Nick; the idea alone was sickening to me. Nobody would ever hurt him again and Matt would pay for what he did to him in those three days and he would never _ever _hurt anyone again when I found him. And find him I would.  
Of course I was a little scared, the man had almost killed me after all, and I wasn't _that_ heroic. But I was ready to face him. Now that there were people that would miss me when I wouldn't return.

I went back to looking out the window, knowing that the end of this was close. That within the hour, the door would burst open and bright light would blind us all once again, this time with the promise of freedom, instead of suffering. I knew that within the hour, all the crying women around me would be free and helped to regain their life.  
I knew that within hours, all I knew would have been written down and each and every man that hurt me and those around me would be severely punched into the ground, as deserved, in court.  
I knew that before the sun rose, I would be back in Nick's arms.  
So I looked through the window, the child in my arms, my thoughts revolving around Nick. Revenge for now forgotten. For within hours, I would once again be where I belonged.

Then I started humming, the soft tune of our melody, the soothing tune of promise.

In the end, it all came down to the music between us. That music, that melody, would always be there. And even when everything failed, it would still be there.

_Hold on, Nick. I'll be home soon.  
Love you…_

**_The end_**


End file.
